Billy’s Shift

Billy Rayes had been working security at the convention centre for three years, long enough for him to have formed opinions. For example, Billy had an opinion on which hot dog vendor made the best dogs. Billy had an opinion on which men’s room the was the best (North-East convention floor). And Billy could tell you which type of convention was the worst.

He had begged Samantha, his manager to give him the weekend off. He didn’t even care if he had to sacrifice the shift if nobody was willing to give one up in trade. But of course, she had insisted. Just like she had insisted the year before.

And so Billy was stuck working the Comic-Con.

And it was the worst.

Calling it the Comic-Con was probably incorrect. The convention centre hosted three each year; two smaller ones, and this one. Maybe he should call it the Big Comic-Con or the Main Comic-Con. Call it whatever you want, Billy just wanted out.

Not that there was a lot to do as a security guard. He had to check the weapons people brought in as part of their costumes to make sure they weren’t real. He had to remind people to not litter. But most of the time he was either standing by the ticket table or walking the door.

It was

So

Boring.

Walking the floor was worse than tickets by far. There was a weird energy amongst the people who came to this kind of thing. Grown men giggling. Women screaming when they recognized a costume. Men and women wearing costumes far too revealing for their body type, and nobody even pointed it out. Everybody being idiots. Not violent, not rude, just… idiots. Billy hoped his son didn’t grow up to be one of the guys who went to this kind of crap.

The only thing that stood out to Billy the whole day was this one guy. He seemed pretty normal, jeans and a t-shirt kind of guy, but he wasn’t alone. At first Billy had thought they were prostitutes. Two incredibly beautiful women, dressed to the nines, hanging out with a guy like that! You saw that kind of thing at the convention centre. It was frowned on by Management; they would always end up making some kind of mess in the bathroom stalls.

So Billy followed them. It was his turn to walk the floor anyway, might as well make it interesting. It didn’t take long for him to change his opinion, though, once he heard them talking.

“I still can’t believe you brought me to this!” The guy was saying, “of all places!”

“We were hoping,” the one with big tits said, hanging on to his arm, “that you could show us off. Maybe impress some of your friends, if they’re here.”

“Guys like that kind of thing, right?” The short haired one with the great ass said, “I saw it on a YouTube video today. Conquests. Trophies. It makes them feel more masculine. At least that’s what the video said.”

“And want you to feel masculine!” The first one jumped in again.

“Well I don’t know about all of that, but this is awesome! I was so caught up in our date last night that I forgot this was this weekend!”

The guy seemed completely earnest, not something Billy would normally have to care about on shift. But he just couldn’t figure out how a guy like that ended up with TWO amazing looking women who BOTH seemed into him. It was Billy’s opinion that if something didn’t make sense, then that something was usually trouble down the line.

So he continued to follow. They checked out artist tables, looked at the collectables (each of the women bought the guy something), and listened to one of the speakers.

Then, finally, it all made sense. Billy was just about to swap out with Old Max at tickets when he saw a woman in some nerdy costume, but on her it was so amazing. Her legs, her tits, Billy had never wanted to bang a Comic-Con nerd before, but this woman was something else. Then he heard them talking.

“Oh my god,” the one with the ass said, “Jasmine. Check her out!”

“Woah, if I had known that I could see stuff like that at these things,” the one with the tits said, “I would have come every year!”

“In the old days I would have killed to rub my face in that chest,” said ass.

It was like someone flicked a switch. They were gay. Lesbians. No wonder they were with that guy! Billy felt so stupid. He was supposed to be observant, it was part of the job description. How had he missed such a perfectly obvious detail?

So he traded with Old Max and went back to tickets. Of course he met Old Max know about the lesbians, just so that the old man didn’t have to waste his time following them around.

With a yawn of boredom, Billy decided to take action. On his break he was going up the office and filling out some paperwork. He had the vacation time. He was going to, preemptively, book off next years Comic-Cons. Because honestly, they were the worst.