Poor Kami

Kami pulled another Kleenex from the box and blew her nose. She, understandably, was having the worst night. Not because her friend Danny had informed her that her wife, Jasmine, was out with some guy, potentially cheating on her, but rather that Jasmine had gotten to him first.

He was… well, Kami didn’t really have the language for what he was. When she opened the picture, Kami’s eyes were drawn to him right away. In fact, she didn’t notice Jasmine sitting at the table for at least ten minutes. But in that ten minutes, Kami’s heart had opened up, filled with dynamite, and exploded.

How could one person love another person so deeply, so truly, so perfectly? And, she reminded herself, so hopelessly. Once Kami noticed her wife sitting at the table, she knew it was over. How could someone like Kami, with her lean muscle, hard features, and small breasts compete for a man’s attention against Jasmine? Of course Kami knew just by looking at the guy that he deserved more than one lesbian to love him, that he should have as many as he wanted, but when he’d already tasted someone like Jasmine, Kami had no hope.

Another round of sobs racked her body. Why, when her mother had tried so hard to teach Kami to be feminine, had she rejected the lessons? Why had she refused to wear dresses, or learn to walk in heels? Any tool that she might have had to keep up with Jasmine was gone. Of course, there was no way she could have know about this stranger, and how deeply she would fall in love with him. Her destiny had always been women.

But not it didn’t matter what her orientation was, nor her hindsight. Kami was left without the ability to have what she realized now as the I only important thing in the world, the love of this strange man.

No.

Kami pulled herself up from her knees, where she had been since she collapsed in tears. She walked into the washroom and stared at herself in the mirror.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She demanded of her reflection, “you are Kami Wagner! You run marathons! You eat challenge for breakfast!”

Kami wiped her tears. Her eyes were red, but resolute.

“How dare you give up?” Kami continued, using a technique she had used before when facing a challenging obstacle, “You’re not a quitter! You’re a conqueror! So what if you don’t have tits, you can wear a push-up bra! So what if you can’t walk in heels, you can learn! So what if you don’t know how to be feminine, you can get online and goddamn learn how to be more bloody feminine than any woman in the world! If being like Jasmine is what it takes to win his heart, you can be twice the woman she is! You’re Kami Wagner and you don’t give up!”

By the end, Kami was shouting at her reflection, gripping the sink in her strong hands. She was done crying. If Kami was going to win the stranger’s heart, she was going to have to work for it. Everything important in life required work. And that was something Kami knew how to do. Work. Hard.