What happens next?

You stretch your legs

After a lull in play, you can feel your attention wandering and your eyes beginning to feel heavy, so to wake yourself up, you stand and make your way to the stairs, with many an "excuse me" as you squeeze past the other spectators. You hope you're not annoying them, buy they hardly react at all when you push by. You skip down the steps and follow the signs to the gents, invigorated by the slight exercise.

The toilets are as clean as you anticipate (and a good deal nicer than you would have expected before you made the college women only) and almost completely deserted during the match. In fact, you only see one person, a young man just finishing drying his hands when you arrive.

Standing before the urinal, you can hear the hum of the crowd, its buzz following the ebb and flow of the game. A gradual increase in volume, followed by a sudden groan and brief quiet, have you imagining a shot at goal that went wide and after finishing your business, you head out to see what's happened. However, you realize you weren't paying attention on your way and now can't remember the route back to your seat. You know you can get there from behind the grandstand, the way you came in originally, but notice a map on the wall next to the exit and with nothing to lose, take a look first.

Alongside the alphanumeric blocks of seats and the arrows indicating the staircases leading to them, it also identifies other areas, such as the changing rooms, first aid station and losers' pillories. You don't know a lot about football, but you're pretty sure that last one's not part of a traditional stadium and whilst you're here, maybe it would be worth taking a moment to explore.