Sweet, Sticky Love

Isabelle frowns down at the glossy headshot of the New Dean, then glances back up at you. "So this is a 'No'?"

You consider that as you drop your bag onto the couch. "I don't know. I think she's a 'Maybe'."

"There is no 'Maybe'. 'Maybe' is useless." Isabelle slips the photo into a folder labeled 'No'. "When did you take this, anyway?"

"I didn't. It just showed up in my bag when I left her office."

"Ugh. That is the worst." She pulls the headshot out again, her frown even deeper at it. A multicolored glow passes over her eyes as she scans the glossy, posted glamor pic. "I don't sense any magic on it. But that probably doesn't mean much. I want to put duct tape over its eyes or something, but that feels like it'd be only slightly better than, say, running over an old Romani woman with my car."

"I know, right? I've got it handled, though." You rummage through your bag, coming back up with a newly-purchased picture frame. You pluck the headshot from Isabelle's hands, slide it in, and then carefully place it on the side table. "There. That's one potential Curse Situation handled expertly."

Isabelle tsks at that, wrapping her arms around your waist to pull you towards her. "Alright, well, just know this means we can never fool around back here again."

You throw a hand up towards the heavens in mock despair. "We cursed ourselves! It's tragic irony! The worst kind of irony!"

Your girlfriend can't hold back a laugh at that, leaning in for a quick kiss. "I like that shirt on you."

"Eh?" Craning your neck down, you cast a critical eye over the black-and-gray striped t-shirt you're currently wearing. "You just like that it makes my boobs look huge."

Isabelle quirks an eyebrow. "Everything makes your boobs look huge. Your boobs are huge."

You press forward, squishing the breasts in question against your girlfriend's own petite chest as you raise a point of clarification. "There are six women within our personal circle bigger than I am now. Six. My self-confidence is crushed."

"Aw. My poor baby." You can't hold back a shiver as Isabelle teasingly traces her fingers up from your toned midsection to the vast softness of your chest. "Yours are still the nicest."

God, this takes every ounce of willpower you have. "Maybe we should keep things PG. Unless you found the leak?"

"Oh. No, I haven't."

Blah, this has wound up becoming the biggest strain on your nerves right now. Shortly after all the business with Asher was...resolved, let's say, something dawned on you. How the fuck did Gal know about the Great Mother? None of you ever mentioned anything about it to her. And there have been other situations where where the Others seemed to have information they certainly weren't given. Which can only mean that they are able to actively spy on you. You've done a full sweep of all three houses, your phones and the barn, but nothing has popped up.

So until you get things sorted, you're only having strategy meetings in person, and in small rooms you can densely shield. You've got a full thermos's worth of Twin Also One powering the wards on the barn back office, so there isn't realistically a safer spot to do your plotting. The thought is less comforting than it might sound. Isabelle, God bless her, has the perfect thought to cut through your sour musings. "Maybe we could try hovering around PG-13?"

What a goddamn minx. Your suggestive response is cut short by the sound of Jenny shutting the door to the barn's back office with pointed firmness. "Can you guys press pause on all of this? Or will you explode if you try to stop halfway through? Because this information is important, but I do not want you guys to explode."

Isabelle can't help going red around the ears, but to your deep pride her tone stays airily confident as she calls back to Jenny. "Don't worry, we probably shouldn't fool around back here anyway. It's a Curse Situation."

"Oh right; I hate those." Jenny drops the folder she's carrying onto the desk. "Before I get started: Buzz is going to burst in here in like five minutes. I won't spoil her news? But just know that while it's going to be a huge distraction, it'll also be super adorable and the best."

"So, basically normal ol' Buzz then?"

"Pretty much. Anyways." She flips it open to reveal the list of subordinates you received from Aisha after the Dead Tree Summit. "I took a second glance into our friends."

Oh? All three of you had scrubbed the sheets for information as soon as you'd gotten them, but without any real success. Aisha seems to pull people in and out of her webs with such frequency that a roster of her underlings is worse than useless. And Beatrix's list was just made up of the top subscribers to her goddamn Patreon. "What'd you find?"

"Honey Bea Productions."

Isabelle furrows her brow. "That's...Beatrix's LLC, right?"

Jenny nods, pulling something up on her phone. "Yeah. I decided to look up its information, and she's got a lawyer listed as her registered agent. This guy." She extends her device, revealing a picture of a portrait of a respectable, if remarkably dull-looking bespectacled man in a suit. "Eugene Gertz. And he used to have a partner. Check it out." She flips over to the next photo, revealing the same blandly pleasant man, this time posed besides a figure you recognize immediately. "BTK doesn't look quite as serial killer-y when he isn't stuffed full of bugs, does he?"

"No. No he does not." You frown, squinting at the image of the man who's clones have tried to kill you more than once. "Is this guy still around? Or what's up with him?"

"He quit the firm two months ago. Supposedly moved to Thailand."

"Sure he did."

Jenny slips her phone back into her pocket. "Luckily, Gertz works weekends. I've got a meeting set up for tomorrow, so why don't we-"

"You guyyys~!"

The doors burst open wildly to reveal an ecstatic Buzz, the punky Woo Girl bounding into the back office with her lanky beau close behind. Oh awesome; you are so down for this shit. You and Isabelle share a look, doing your best to pretend that you aren't already in on the game as Buzz coquettishly hides her hands behind her back. "What's up? Got something to tell us?"

Buzz giggles at that, eyes sparkling. "Mmmaybe~!"

Isabelle leans forward. "Should we guess?"

"Omigod yes, but I'm too excited so I'm just gonna show you~!" She thrusts out her hand, and it takes you a moment to parse what it is you're looking at.

"That's one of those lollipop rings?"

"Uh-huh~!"

Isabelle cuts in. "Wait, does that mean you're-?"

"Yes~!" Buzz throws her arms around her tall boyfriend's neck, who seems utterly unphased by her candy jewelry smooshing into his hair. "We're engaged to be engaged! To be engaged!"

Okay, that isn't a thing? That's just dating? And also, her love is gonna start attracting ants pretty soon? But you don't give a shit right now. "Buzz that is so great!" You throw out your arms and the Woo Girl giddily jumps into you, trapping you in a fiercely affectionate hug. You manage to spare a glance for her lucky groom to be. Uh, to be to be. "Took you long enough, dude."

The young man manages a sheepish smile, running his hand through his thick and now somewhat sticky hair. "I know. I guess it just didn't feel real until recently? Like it was just some amazing dream I was having all the time, or something? I know that sounds weird. I promise I am not that weird."

Well he's definitely weird, but it isn't entirely his fault in this case. He's dating a magical creature and has been an active part of, like, twenty rituals at this point. Even the most serious-minded person would probably suspect some sort of waking dream scenario, were they in his shoes. Not that it mattered in the end. It really does you good to know that, even amidst all of the parts of magic that are bullshit, real love can still--

Buzz's voice interrupts your thoughts. "Hey, sweetie?"

Guy peers down at her. "Yeah babe?"

The girl releases her hug with one arm, reaching out to tap Aisha's side of the ledger that's still on the desk. "Why is your name on this?"