A Quick In-and-Out (not that kind of in-and-out, you pervert)

Jasmine had a plan. If she went home only long enough to get changed for her date, she would be able to avoid Kami. The last thing she wanted to do just before her first date with John was have to explain to her wife why she was getting all dolled up to go out with anyone but her. That wouldn’t end well.

At some point Jasmine would have to come clean and tell Kami, but tonight, the night of her first date, wasn’t that night. Tonight she wanted no drama. Tonight had to be perfect. Even if it wasn’t, it would still work out.

Deep down, Jasmine could recognize what she was feeling. It wasn’t a fleeting affection, a crush that feels wonderful to explore but has no lasting impact. No, this was love. Pure. Simple. Profound. Love. She could feel it in her bones, in the very fibre of her being. All of her plans for her life, all of what she knew of herself, in one afternoon was derailed because of a chance encounter that afternoon in the library.

She wanted to sing and dance, she wanted to tell the world! It was like something out of a movie, only it was real. How could this thing happen to her? How could she have gotten so lucky?

Only, it wasn’t all great. Not that she would trade what she felt did the world, but on her drive home she saw so many things that reminded Jasmine of her old life. Her old life, she thought, how quickly things change.

Jasmine saw the park that she and Kami would picnic at on warm Saturdays. She saw the bookstore that Kami had worked at when they first met. Places that were special to her, that she would always hold dear to her heart, but would have to be put aside for her new life, for her man.

Yeah. There was that. Man. Even as she flipped through her closet trying to pick out which outfit would give her the best chance to make John want her, she had a hard time reconciling that her one true love was a man. She was no idealist. It didn’t take long into her adult life for Jasmine to realize that some people weren’t meant to stay together forever. Over the heads, Jasmine had watched her friends couple-up, only to break up later. Growing apart, infidelity, irreconcilable differences, all valid reasons. But suddenly discovering that they, while still gay, were totally head over heals in love with a man? That was a hard pill to swallow.

But swallow it she would. And if what Jasmine had heard about dating men was right, it probably wouldn’t be the last thing she would swallow. Stepping into the red party dress she had bought for last New Years, Jasmine wondered what kind of man John was. Would he **** himself on her? Was he gentle? Would John have the patience to understand that Jasmine would have to learn a whole new skill set when it came to being physical with a man, or would he be rough and impatient? No matter what kind of man he was, Jasmine knew that it would be up to her to make it work. She loved him, but did he feel the same way? Probably not, and it would be unfair for her to demand that of him. She would have to entice him, allure him. Jasmine would make him love her, and if that meant she had to change, act in ways that she would have never imagined before, so be it.

High heels. Men loved high heels. A pair of red pumps, three inch heel, would be perfect. Then it was hair and make-up time. Jasmine knew how to make herself beautiful. She wasn’t like Kami. Kami had never cared what the world thought of her looks. She wore short cropped hair because it was easy and fast. She ran marathons because she was competitive, not because she cared about her body image. Kami looked the way she did because of Kami.

Jasmine, though, thought a lot about how people saw her. Her whole life she had considered this a character flaw. Why couldn’t she just accept herself as she was? Why did she have to work so hard to be traditionally attractive?

Character flaw no more, Jasmine realized while painting her lips red to match the dress. It was if the fates knew that one day she would need to use her body to catch herself a man. She would do this because she was born to do this.

Packing up a sequinned clutch with her ID, some cash, and some make-up to touch herself up, Jasmine smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Beautiful. Sexy, even. John wouldn’t know what hit him.

On her way out, Jasmine texted Kami.

Going to be out tonight. Forgot I had plans. Sorry.

Hopefully that would be enough. It would have to be, she thought, as she set her phone to silent and added it to the clutch. Was there anything else she needed?

Keys! Of course! From the bowl by the front door, she picked up her key ring, but still felt uneasy, like there was something else. Well, whatever it was, Jasmine would have to figure it out on the road. If she spent any more time dawdling, she would be bound to run into Kami, which was something she certainly wasn’t prepared for.

And so Jasmine walked out of her house and into her new life. Maybe there would be a way to have John and still keep Kami, have her cake and eat it too. Probably not, but it was nice to dream. Driving away from her house, it felt so final. Even if she returned, Jasmine would be returning a changed woman, a woman who now was with a man, sometime that would have been unthinkable just hours earlier.

Condoms! Of course! That’s what she was missing! No problem. She could stop at a pharmacy on the way and pick some up. She would have more than enough time. In fact, she’d even have enough time to do a little research. There had to be plenty of resources online on how to please a man, and she had a lot of learning to do.