Holding back and moving forwards.

I sigh happily, dismissing the window. Ash, who had been idly running her fingers through my hair whilst I read over my summary, stops her pampering (boo) as she asks, “I take it by your goofy look that you’re happy with your notifications?” I nod, then say, “Two levels, a bunch of Skill and spell level ups, and a few achievements. Not bad for a day’s work.” Ash looks at me askance, then shakes her head.

“I don’t know how you level up so quick, I really don’t.” Shrugging, I reply, “Y’all got 2 levels when we cured Em, I only got one, but was only like 500Exp away from my next level.” Ash pouts, before she admits, “I guess that’s fair.” I snort at her tone, which said the exact opposite, then add, “More than half of my Exp this time around came from achievements, so that’s bound to slow down at some point. I get the feeling that Exp from kills is heavily penalised if we are a higher level than our targets, I got bugger-all from the basic goblins, despite us killing thirteen of them.”

We sit in silence, each of us thinking our own separate thoughts. I take the time to spend my attribute points. Despite the points I had invested over the last few levels, my physical Attributes were still lagging compared to my Mental Attributes. The benefits of upgrading a person’s being, whatever that really meant, were too good to ignore. If I wanted to repeat the experience, I needed a balanced approach.

Honesty? A balanced approach had been my plan from the beginning. I had always found builds that were good with magic but could also fight hand to hand the most appealing. Magic was cool. Spears were cool. But put them both together? I grin as my nerdy little heart sings, before assigning 3 points to Strength to bring it to 14, 3 to Constitution, bringing it to 15, and 4 to Agility, also bringing it to 15.

Eventually the rush of new Attribute points (noticeably smaller than in the pre 10 range, a fact I note for future consideration) ends. I sigh in contentment, then ask, “What about you? You should have levelled at least once. Any closer to crossing the first threshold?” she smiles down at me, before replying, “I actually have the points ready to go. I’m holding off until tonight though, what with the whole ‘everything hurts like hell then you pass out’ thing.”

“You’ll get through it fine, don’t worry about it, sis.”

“I’m not worried! Did I say I was worried? I never said I was worried!”

“Mmmmm-hmmmmm.”

“Don’t you mmmm-hmmm me!” She glares down at me, but can only hold the expression for a moment in the face of my cheeky grin. Her expression softens further as I add, “I’m apparently going to be up half the night anyway, so I’d be more than happy to keep an eye on you, when I’m not on watch that is.” She smiles at me, ruffles my hair again, then says, “I think I’d like that.”

“It's no problem, Ash. I’m happy to help.” We smile at each other, basking in the mutual joy of sibling solidarity. It’s a nice moment, one that I gleefully ruin as I add, “On an unrelated note, you wouldn’t happen to have packed a sharpie, would you? I need one. For reasons.” She glares at me again, before, in a far too casual tone, she says, “you know, you’re talking a hell of a lot of shit for someone who wants to keep lap privileges.” I very wisely came to the conclusion that discretion was the better part of valour, and kept quiet.

We both stayed silent for a time, simply enjoying each other’s company. After a while, Em calls us over to dinner. Soon enough, everyone is sitting around the fire, eating our evening meal together and talking about our gains for the day. Ash, apparently, wasn’t the only person who was ready to increase the level of her being. Lisa declared that she, too, was also ready.

I offer to watch over Lisa too, only to find out that Mum had already volunteered to do so. I try to argue that Mum still needs a full night’s rest, but she waves me off, assuring me she was more than able to function off four hours of sleep. To my surprise, Em also pipes up, offering her help to me to watch over Ash by volunteering to sleep only 4 hours. My surprise is not for the act itself, but the effect that it had on our planning. Speaking up as she had, Emily had just guaranteed that we’d be sharing a tent together for two hours tonight, alone. ‘It’s a coincidence, right?’ I look across the fire, to where Em sits chatting with Ash.

Sensing my eyes on her, Emily turns to me. Our eyes meet, and I see the challenge there, a smug, almost cocky look that says, “what are you going to do about it?” ‘So, not a coincidence.’ I return her stare with a level look of my own, a look that says, “fuck around and find out.” Emily breaks eye contact, clearly flustered. I grin before returning to my meal. My grin quickly fades however, as a thought occurs to me.

‘Why is this so different? She’s your sister, so why are you now looking forward to tonight so much? Why doesn’t this feel weird?’ Searching my feelings, I can’t seem to find an answer. Things were different back there in the tent with Mum, but for the life of me, I can’t seem to work out why. I struggled to even kiss her, so weighed down by conflicting feelings I was, despite her being both eager and willing.

But when I thought about tonight? There was nervousness there, but it was a giddy nervousness, the butterflies in the stomach feeling I often felt before a big event in my life. There was none of the trepidation there, none of the self-recrimination. Instead, when I considered the taboo of what was to come, my anticipation only grew.

That being said, there were certain lines that I wouldn’t allow myself to cross tonight, even if she wanted to. Unlike earlier, however, the reasons behind my self-imposed limit were practical, not moral in nature. We had no condoms, and no other method of birth control with us (as far as I knew). Until we had a way to prevent… unwanted accidents, that line would have to remain uncrossed.

I’d paid attention in history class. I knew what healthcare was like back in the middle ages. Not only that, but we were in the middle of nowhere. I refused to let someone I cared about so deeply die at the ripe old age of childbirth because I couldn’t wait until we discovered a viable method of birth control. Exploring with fingers, and maybe even mouths and tongues, however… I blush furiously, shaking my head to clear the intrusive thought. ‘Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself, Adam!?!’

Someone clears their throat, sharply drawing me out of my thoughts. Coming back to myself, I look up into the amused face of Ash. Raising an eyebrow, she asks, “We lost you there for a bit. Care to share what you were thinking with the class?” Flustered, I scramble for a reply. Ash watches me flounder, clearly enjoying the show. After a while, I simply shrug, before grinning sheepishly up at her and replying, “nothing that would interest you.”

She eyes me sceptically, then says, “oh? I very much doubt that. I’ll let you off the hook this time, though. Here, this is for you.” She passes me a slim book bound in a grey leather. I look over the slim tome, and to my surprise, a notification pops up.

0----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0

You have found a spell tome for the Air Magic spell: Minor Shocking Touch.

Would you like to use the book and learn the spell? The process is not guaranteed to work, but the spell tome will be destroyed in the process either way.

Additional information: As a Spellweaver, your Profession grants you a much deeper understanding of magic than the average person, allowing you to determine the chance of successfully absorbing the knowledge contained within this tome.

Absorption success rate: 90%.

Would you like to use the spell tome: Minor Shocking Touch?

(Y/N)

0----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0

I look up at Ash, surprised. “Wouldn’t this be better for someone else?” she shrugs then says, “Not really? With your super cheaty ability to copy spells, you need all the magic affinities you can get your grubby little hands on. Pluuuus,” She draws out the word, looking slightly sheepish. At my raised eyebrow, she continues, “We’re all banking on the fact that your profession’ll let you teach spells you know to others further down the line, otherwise, how’s it supposed to be a profession?”

She had a fair point, one that I hadn’t considered. I had copied two spells so far, and glancing at my character sheet told me I was 66% of the way to my next Profession level. One more copied spell and I could get my first peek at the upgrades I would be able to purchase. Normally, I would have cracked on with uncovering as much as I could about my new profession as soon as I could. It was unlike me to just sit on top of a potential gold mine without taking more than a token glance. There was just one thing holding me back. Just one thing that stopped me from diving headfirst into my new profession.

What I had entirely failed to mention to my family was that once I began creating a new spell, be it a copy or an entirely new work of magic based around the runes I knew, I was locked into the process, unable to stop channelling magic until my new spell was compete. Cleansing Waters, the spell I had created to heal Em, only cost 25Mp and only took 5 seconds to cast, even whilst channelling Mana sight at 5 Mana per second, it should have only cost me 50Mp to create the spell. Since arriving on this world, I had been practically showered in Intelligence Attribute points. At the time I created the Cleansing Waters spell, my Mana pool had already been sitting pretty at 200MP.

So, what was the problem? The problem was that casting the spell didn’t cost 25Mp and last for 5 seconds, but instead cost 125Mp and lasted for 25 seconds, an increase of five times the base values. Creating that spell had cost me 250Mp, or it would have, if I had that much Mp. Instead, the spell had drained my Mana pool in its entirety, before siphoning the remaining power required directly from my Hp, of which I’d only had 85.

Whilst everyone had been watching the spell work its magic on Em, I had been reeling, trying not to cry out in pain as I suffered from the aftereffects of over 50% of my vitality being sucked out of my body in a matter of seconds. Fun fact, levelling up restores HP, Mana, and stamina to full, even if you haven’t opened the notification yet. I therefore knew the exact moment that the System determined that my spell had cured Em, and I had finished the Quest. by the time everyone’s attention had left Em and had returned to me, I was able to act as if nothing was amiss.

Before copying Ash’s Clean spell, and Lisa’s Minor Detect Life spell, I had found out both the cast times and the Mana costs in advance. Before I began copying, I already knew that I could handle the drain on my Mana without trouble. But creating new spells? I have to admit, I was nervous. Hence my plan. Sit quietly on the problem until someone else unlocks a healing spell, or we find a method to restore Mana in a pinch. At least that was what I had been planning, right up until a realisation hit me.

‘Fuck, I’m doing it again! I’m keeping all my problems bottled to myself, so I don’t worry anyone. Haven’t I already learned this lesson?’ I look up at Ash, who is watching me, a concerned look on her face. ‘And no wonder. She asked me a question and I’ve just been sitting here thinking, no doubt looking all kinds of worried. I really am a damn fool.’ Sighing, I look into her eyes, then say. “I’m an idiot.” She raises an eyebrow before attempting a smirk, but I can’t help but notice the underlying worry in her expression.

0----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0

Congratulations! Your Skill in Insight has increased to Level 4!

For reaching Skill level 4, you have been awarded 40 Exp!

0----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0

‘Scuse me? I’m not idle, I’m in the middle of a conversation here?’ I swipe away the notification just as Ash says, “we all knew that, but what have you done this time?” before she can worry some more, I peer around her. Sure enough, everyone is listening in, each displaying varying degrees of concern. Ash seems to understand my desire to talk to the group as she steps aside, allowing me to talk to everyone.

I succinctly explain my issue before apologising for keeping everything to myself, again. I breathe a little sigh of relief as, rather than the recriminations I probably deserve, everyone calls me a dumbass instead. We talk over the problem, and eventually everyone agrees with my initial plan. We turn to Lisa, who sheepishly admits that she completely forgot about her new spell. Tomorrow, we all decide, I would learn my spell and gain new affinity (hopefully), then copy the two air spells available (both of which I could afford). Then throughout the day Lisa would cast her new spell, hopefully earning a healing spell tome.

From there, the conversation takes on a more casual tone. We spend the evening talking and laughing together, relaxing from the stresses of the day. To everyone's great amusement, Ash dramatically retells the events of today's battle, changing the tale so much that it barely resembles the original. Eventually, the sun drops behind the horizon, plunging the forest into darkness. It’s getting late, but despite that there’s a certain charge in the air. Two of our number are about to undergo a large change, and two others? I glance over at Em, and our eyes meet briefly. I see an intensity there that sends a shiver running down my spine, before, nibbling on her bottom lip, she looks away.

The talk is stilted as we all go through our nightly routine. We clean our teeth, grimacing at the texture of the Mage's Toothpaste, Before Ash and I use our Clean spell on ourselves and the others, cleaning clothes and bodies alike. Before we know it, it's time to settle in for the night. Anticipation, as well as a healthy dose of nerves, has my heart pumping wildly in my chest. All the same, we each say our goodnights, wish Ash and Lisa luck, then head to our assigned tents.