Though he had said a minute, it had been more like twenty he'd been gone now, leaving you alone with only Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. for company. Either that's one long slash or he got distracted doing something else, you chuckled, listening out for any noises anywhere, but hearing nothing. Mind you, what with him being a woman now, he could still very well in the bathroom, recalling how much longer girls seemed to spend in there as opposed to guys. They had all that...that women's stuff to deal with. Ugh, you thought, cringing at some of the mental pictures your brain was now serving up, being very glad right now that you were a guy and your whole 'downstairs area' didn't need that kind of maintenance.
Putting these thoughts out of your head, your attention returned once more to the movie, your concern for Randall having merely been due to the fact that he was missing some of the best parts (as well as truth be told, you missing his company). Sure enough, not too long after, while you were busy chuckling away at the on screen antics, you heard footsteps on the stairs, indicating that Randall had indeed been elsewhere. Looking over your shoulder to greet him as he entered, curious to see what he'd been up to, you found yourself having to wait a lot longer than you should have...
"Randall? What are you doing?" you called out, through the open door, wondering where he'd got to now.
A second or two later, your question was answered as he finally appeared, with a big grin painted across his face and his body now dressed in a decidedly different outfit. "What does it look like, Tim me old chap?" he said, putting on a rather posh and over the top cod-English accent, "I'm going to raid me some tombs!"
Well you just about did a double take right there, being simultaneously amazed and amused by what he was wearing, your mouth hanging open, but with a smile still creeping its way across your lips. It really was quite a sight!
"So, what do you think? ...Lara Croft, tomb raider extraordinaire and killer of many, many innocent animals at your service." he said, introducing 'himself' and doing a little curtsy, trying not to laugh as he did. Obviously he had not only taken your comment about being a much better Lara Croft than Angelina Jolie ever was to heart, but he had also kept his earlier promise (in a way) about dressing in something that you would find more comfortable. Well, perhaps comfortable wasn't exactly the right word, because looking at how his wonderful curvy, feminine form was now decked out was making you anything but comfy...especially down below! Gone was the overly stretched Superman t-shirt and the baggy sweatpants, replaced instead by a tight blue tank top that was ever so slightly too small (showcasing a hint of bare midriff), a pair of brown khaki shorts, a thick pair of hiking boots and white socks, gloves, as well as - from the looks of it - some sort of small black leather bag or purse that somewhat resembled a rucksack slung over both shoulders. He'd also styled his hair just like Lara, his dark auburn locks now braided together into a single ponytail, while most comically of all, instead of twin handguns strapped to each leg, Randall had seemingly pilfered from the fruit bowl for two bananas, each one held in place by...a pair of black sweatbands?
"Jesus, dude..." you finally managed to squeak after nearly a full minute of gawking, your brain having trouble thinking of anything better to say. "What the hell are you wearing?"
Rolling his eyes at the question and pulling his best 'stoic adventurer pose', Randall replied "What does it look like? I'm Tomb Raider! I'm totally like one of those cosplay babes at comic book conventions!"
"I can see that. But...why?"
"I dunno. For a laugh," he shrugged, needing no more reason than that. "I remembered seeing some of this stuff lying around the place while I was in the bathroom and I thought it might be funny to dress up like her. You did say I'd make a good Lara Croft after all."
"That I did. I just...well I just didn't expect this." you told him, running your eyes over every inch of his body.
Though you had admittedly seen him before in tight little tops and practically non existent shorts (as well as nothing at all), the combination of both and the fact that he was actually aping a well known busty video game character made it somehow all the more impressive...and dare you say it, actually far more arousing. The now braided hair totally suited him, while the material of the tank top clung to his epic chest almost like a second skin, displaying the tops of his huge creamy breasts to their fullest, as well as the kind of cleavage that literally made your mouth water (the straps of a bra and the visible outline beneath indicating that there was a bit of engineering at work to keep it in place). His long supple legs looked as gorgeous as ever, and were emphasized all the more now sandwiched between the small shorts at the top and the thick brown boots at the bottom. All in all, while it wasn't exactly the most professional or even the most accurate Lara Croft outfit you had ever seen (being made up of things Miss. Card already happened to own), it was without a doubt one of the hottest!
"Pretty good though, huh?" he said, looking rather proud of his creation as he reached down and pulled the two bananas out of their 'holsters'. "All I'm really missing are the pistols, but I think these bad boys here do the trick." Laughing then as he pointed them towards you, informing you in his English accent that he was "totally going to pop a cap in your ass!" he then began 'firing' randomly around the room, striking a couple of iconic Lara-esque poses as he did.
"Yeah, it...it is pretty funny," you agreed, stuttering a little as you caught sight of his big round ass cheeks sheathed in the tight khaki material, finding it harder and harder to see his outfit as simply amusing. "Though I got to say the look does kind of suit you..."
Suit him? From what you were seeing now, Miss. Card was born to be Lara!
Randall definitely agreed with this thought. "Thanks," he smiled, adding rather knowingly, "And well, yeah most looks do suit this body. You pretty much said something along those lines yourself last night." You couldn't actually remember this truth be told but you knew that there was a very good chance you had, often thinking that Miss. Card's body would look good in nothing but a paper bag. "I thought the hair might be a bitch to do though," he continued, grabbing at the expertly braided ponytail and pulling it over his shoulder, "seeing as I've never had to style it like this before. But weirdly enough, I just kind of did it automatically. I guess Miss. Card used to braid her hair a lot and all the memories are still in here." It wouldn't surprise you, seeing as there was a lot of things Randall could now do that you never would have imagined. Once again, the upside of having a part of his brain grafted to a part of Miss. Card's, giving him (at least on a subconscious level) a good many of her skills, was more than evident.
"Anyway, enough of your fooling about...Jeeves, my trusty butler." he said, launching back into full-on Lara mode and including you in his act. "Get the car quick smart! It's time for us to depart Croft Manner. We've got tombs to raid and dried up old corpses to exhume. First stop, Cairo! We can't let that evil super secret organization get their hands on the uh...the..." Looking desperately around the room for inspiration, his ad-libbing having hit a small bump, his eyes suddenly locked on one of the half empty Chinese containers still sitting on the coffee table and enthusiastically cried "...The ancient Friend Rice of Randall-ra! There's no time to lose!"
What followed then was one of the goofiest, yet strangely sexiest displays you'd ever seen, as he began energetically throwing himself around the room, attempting a pretty lame forward roll on the rug before springing up onto the other couch and leaping over the side. The movie you'd been watching was all but forgotten and your attention was now exclusively focused on Randall as he darted about, firing his guns at imaginary monsters and animals (a deadly, rabid squirrels being a particular highlight) and acting as best he could like Lara...or at least how Lara might act if she was trapped in someones front room with two bananas!
Eventually though, after about ten to fifteen minutes of this, he had obviously tired himself out, placing a hand on his spine and pushing his ample chest outwards as he climbed back down off the couch. "I think that's enough of that for now," he said, wincing as he rubbed at his back. "I forgot how much it can hurt running around without a sports bra on. And this thing I'm wearing is pinching like hell!"
Realizing that it was his breasts that had put a halt to his exuberant activities (once again not appearing as fun for him to deal with as it was for you to watch them bounding up and down), you stood there awkwardly for a moment, before assuring him, once he'd suitably recovered, "It was pretty funny though, dude. Sometimes I really do forget that underneath that smart, sophisticated and sexy feminine exterior lies a total fucking goofball. Who else would do something so ridiculous?"
"Shut up! You loved it, I know you did. What other student of Central High gets to have their very own Lara Croft to entertain them? Besides, you're the on who wanted me to dress up remember."
"I know. I'm just messing," you chuckled, liking this look way better than the sweats and t-shirt. "It's actually kind of cool. You totally look like one of those promotions models they have for the games."
"Yeah, I kind of do don't I? Maybe we should get some pics of me pulling some kick ass poses as well then."
"Uh, yeah...sure. Sure, we could do that."
"Yeah totally, it'll be funny!" he grinned, forgetting his back pain as he took this idea and ran with it. "Miss. Card's got this sweet digital camera we could use. I think it might be upstairs somewhere. Come on!"
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