Tour of the sport fishing yacht.

"Weh yuh ah seh!" the skinny skipper grinned, showing off his bright white teeth. "Welcome aboard the No Woman, No Cry, gentlemen! I am Captain Bob!"

"Hey thanks! I'm Mike," I smiled after walking up the gangplank and stepped onboard the 61-foot Bertram Sportfish Yacht to shake the captain's hand. "Bob Marley fan, huh?"

"It's mandatory on the island, mon!" the captain laughed and shook Bill's hand when he introduced himself.

"We get the boat all to ourselves?" Bill asked, looking at the massive 18-foot beam cockpit with a large aquarium livewell for bait.

"No, we have two more guests coming, mon," Captain Bob smirked.

"She's a beautiful boat," I whistled, wondering how much such a big ship would cost -- probably could buy a mansion where we lived.

"Yeah, mon, she's my boonoonoonoos," the skipper nodded, lovingly caressing the gunnel. "I sold my old boat, the Lucky Bastard, a 35-foot Bertram, to buy her."

"So trading in your old wife for a younger one with bigger tits, huh?" Bill joked.

"Exactly!" Captain Bob laughed, giving Bill a high five. "But the new one is more expensive to maintain, mon!"

"Yeah, that's why I'm keeping my wife happy," I said, flashing my wedding band, "because divorce is too expensive."

"I hear ya, mon!" Captain Bob nodded sympathetically, showing off his ring. "Plus three kids and another on the way!"

"No wonder you charge so much!" Bill chuckled and high fived the skipper.

"The kids eat better than me!" Captain Bob laughed, lifting up his white polo shirt to show his wiry frame. "Let me show you around the boat while we wait for the other guests to arrive."

Bill and I nodded.

"This is the cockpit," Captain Bob waved his arms out like he was Moses spreading apart the Red Sea, "where you will spend most of the day fishing!

"Under the deck are three compartments," he lifted up one of the hatches to reveal an ice-filled fish box, "where you will store all the fish you catch."

"If we catch any," I joked.

"I get paid either way, mon!" Captain Bob laughed before continuing the tour. "Under the mezzanine seats is a freezer and access to the engine room. Under the steps to the salon is a cooler for beers." He handed Bill and me bottles of Red Stripe beer.

"Cheers!" We clanged our beer bottles and took a chug before Captain Bob showed us the electrical grill and tackle station on the starboard side, right below the ladder.

"Welcome to my office, gentlemen!" Captain Bob announced after we climbed up the ladder to the flybridge with an island helm and cushioned lounge under the canopy.

"Do you mind if we sit?" I asked, pointing at the pair of white leather Murray Brothers captain's chairs.

"Go ahead," Captain Bob smiled proudly. "It'll be the only time you get to sit in them, mon!"

Bill and I sat down behind the helm with its two large touchscreen displays and enjoyed the clear line of sight in all directions around us.

"Now let me show you the salon, gentlemen!" Captain Bob said before leading us back down to the cockpit and through the electric sliding door.

"Holy shit," I blurted out when I saw the huge open salon with glossy teak furnishings, a 55" HDTV on the starboard side cabinet, a U-shaped sofa at the aft and a L-shaped dinette with a hardwood table that could comfortable sit a dozen guests, a fully galley with a stone countertop, and forward brow windows that offered a stunning 360-degree panoramic view.

"Not everyone will be fishing, mon," Captain Bob grinned as he led us down the short of stairs at the forward side of the boat. He turned port side to show us the full-beam master stateroom with a queen size bed and its own bathroom and shower.

"Huh," Bill nodded impressively.

Captain Bill squeezed past us to show us the side-by-side berth beds and ensuite on the starboard side and then all the way further on the lower level was the VIP stateroom that was big enough to have a queen size bed and its own ensuite.

"Like I said, not everyone comes on board to fish," Captain Bob winked, "especially guests from the Sybaris resort!"

"If we knew that we would have brought the girls along!" Bill said out loud what I was the thinking.

"You can book another day and bring them along!" Captain Bob laughed, slapping our shoulders. "I have mouths to feed!"

"It's not going to be cheap with the eight of us," I reminded Bill, given how much it cost just for the two of us despite the discount from the resort.

"Six girls, huh? Nice!" Captain Bob approved with another high five.

"Think of all the pussy, Mike," Bill reminded me even though we were already fucking them without having to pay thousands of dollars extra just to be on a sport fishing yacht.

Captain Bob could see the hesitation on my face and showed us his best salesman smile. "Tell you what, mon, I am going to offer you fine gentlemen Captain Bob's exclusive special -- half price for the ladies!"

"The girls will love it here, Mike," Bill prodded.

But before I could answer we heard a pair of feminine voices yell in unison from above in the salon, "Hello? Anybody here?"