The Statue's Ass Is The Keyhole

The key was no bigger than the last digit on the reporter's thumb; it seemed to be made of bronze, with a little handle curled into a hollow heart-shape, with a pentagram within; the key itself looked like a little stiff penis, perfectly cylindrical except for a series of raised bumps. Lois was fairly certain those would move the pins in the lock, they were too regular and oddly-placed to be more warts. The reporter looked all around the block that the statue stood on...but it was smooth, for the most part, without even a crack or a hole big enough to fit the small, bumpy key...

Cracks and holes, the reporter thought suddenly, and remembered how she had gotten the key. This cult, or whatever it is, seemed sex-obssessed. Could they have...?

Thought became action. Lois moved around behind the statue, poking her head up between its legs from behind...and yes, just as the sculptor had loving crafted each and every detail of that cock, so too had they made a little puckered butthole between the stone cheeks. A detail Lois had noticed, but now that she looked at it closer, she saw that the sculptured sphincter had an actual perforation in the center, a dark gap that was almost perfectly round and just the right size.

Working more by touch than sight, the reporter stood on her tip-toes, air cold on her naked ass and legs as she sought to bring key and hole together. The tip slipped in...and then it stuck. The reporter frowned, turned the key...and then the first wart slipped in.

Aha, Lois thought, unable to suppress a wolfish grin.

Now that she knew the secret of the lock, it was child's play to work the key in deeper, twist until it aligned with one of the nobs, then in further...having done a little lock-picking herself, Lois wondered at the mechanism involved. Some kind of disc-lock, probably...but why bury it inside the statue's butthole? The whole stone humanoid before her had to be filled with mechanisms just to support that. It must have been the symbolism involved, but what kind of cult was this, where you were supposed to fuck the key out of an immense cock, and then unlock it by shoving it the same entities' asshole?

It felt like there was a simple answer, but Lois wasn't sure what it was when she gave the key a final twist.

The lock opened.