Shock and Awe

Deja Vu is a strange feeling, feeling like you've done something before even though it's not possible you have, but that's not what I feel right now. No, I'm feeling the opposite, Jamais Vu, I know that people have definitely announced their intention to date someone else before, but somehow, this feels like the first time I've ever heard of it.

"Skye?" Elise asks with a smile. "She asked you out? Did you say yes?"

"She asked me to ask her. I said give me a couple of days to think about it. Seemed like a good time to cross off some bucket list stuff." Trish explains wistfully. "Honestly, I think this was just what I needed to get my head straight."

I hold off on making a joke about the use of the word 'straight' given how seriously Trish seems to be taking this. "You're acting very dramatic, it's dating, not your death sentence." I point out.

Trish sighs and rolls onto her side to look at us. "That's the thing. How would you feel if Elise's parents married her off and you could never see her again?" Her words, even hypothetically, make me feel like I've been hit in the stomach by a freight train.

"I... I'd feel like my heart had been ripped out." I admit. "I didn't realise your parents were that traditional."

"It's more than tradition, it's a test. They'll use marriage as the benchmark for being a good daughter, for being 'normal' or whatever, and if I disagree... It'd be tantamount to outing myself, then they can disown me and still be respected... 'Cause then I'm the weird one." Trish paints a vivid picture with her words. I know it's technically not forced, but rock and a hard place marriage doesn't sound much more fun.

"Would your parents really do that? I mean, you're their daughter." Elise asks worriedly.

Trish looks at her with even more conflict. "I don't know. But would you have thought your parents would have acted like they did?" She thinks aloud. Elise's silence is a pretty clear answer.

"But you're gonna do it anyway? You're going to ask her out." I deduce. I know Trish, she wouldn't try so hard to talk herself out of it if it wasn't something she really wanted.

"Skye's... Different. Like, it's more than just getting along, she... She reflects the best parts of me. Somehow all the other stuff, it seems less scary, if she's there too." She confesses.

I mean, this is adorable, but I have a question that immediately springs to mind. "What the fuck happened in that bathroom?"

Trish, earlier in the night:

Skye enters the bathroom first, taking a look around and in each of the stalls. "Looks like we've got the place to ourselves." She announces.

I look in the mirror, fixing my bright white hair. "Hmm. I'm guessing you actually don't need a piss?" I figure out. As if it wasn't obvious. I look back to Skye, who slowly steps closer to me.

"Busted." She admits sweetly. "I thought I'd give you a chance to ask me out without people watching, you know, take the pressure off." This shit again. Since the party we've been texting almost constantly, I'd like to say it's annoying, that I'm just placating her... Truth is, I've been waiting for each new notification.

I pull my eyes away from hers. "I told you, I'm not relationship material." I argue, not even sure I believe it at this point.

I feel her hand touch mine, holding tight, and using the other to guide my gaze back to her. "Then you've got nothing to worry about, do you? Unless, you actually do like me, and that scares you, and it's easier to pretend we're incompatible than to hope for a future that isn't miserable?" Skye summarises. Yeah, that excuse has been bullshit for a while, better to not try than get my hopes up, right? Fuck, I sound like Rouge.

"And if it all goes awry?" I demand. "What if we get together and then one day it falls apart? Or worse, it doesn't, and you have to watch me marry someone else?"

"I don't know if you've met me, but I don't give up so easily." She chuckles. "There's no guarantees for any future, shit, you might see me naked and think I'm disgusting, and that's the end of it... But, I can handle that. I can handle heartbreak. I can't handle regret. I've got too many." She continues, moving into my personal space.

"I fucking hate you." I lie, as our faces get closer.

"No you don't." She whispers, closing her eyes.

"No, I don't." I sigh, as our lips meet and I feel warm, calm, relaxed, there's no biological craving, or unyielding force, just her. And that's all it needs to be.

*

"...So I said to give me a couple of days and we'd meet up after that and I'd... make my decision." Trish finishes explaining. Elise is resting her head on my chest, listening along with me.

Her story wasn't like ours, she knows who she is and what she wants, she's just scared she's not allowed it. It's... Sad. All that confidence and self-belief, and the people who are meant to be closest to her end up being the ones to spoil it.

"You should do it." I blurt out. Trish looks at me with a look of amusement. Yeah, I know, you're already on board, but it felt like I should say it.

"Take it from me, if your parents aren't willing to accept you... They're not worth wanting the acceptance of." Elise concurs, he voice shaking as she thinks about her situation, before chirping back up. "Tell you what, if worst comes to worst, we'll all get an apartment together, we'll be your new family."

Trish smiles at my girlfriend as she switches to lying on her back. "I think that's why I'm less scared... I know I'm not alone."

"There is one thing..." I recall hesitantly. We can say all the right things and support Trish as much as we want, but there's one factor all of us are overlooking.

"You've gotta tell Rouge."