Mai Tai (Red Pill)

Looks like you're staying in Wonderland.

Let's see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

“Not happening baby roo.”

“Aw, c’mon why not?”

“You drove here, I’m not taking the blame if something happens to you!”

“It’s sweet you care about my safety Tay but nothing bad will happen”

“Your safety?”

Taylor scoffed

“This is about mine. Self-preservation little bro. If you get hurt Janae, Brie, and Lilly will kill me…Probably in that order too.”

The perks of being the youngest and cutest child.

Cutest?

Press X to doubt.

“I’ve been out with you and your friends before! You’ve seen me handle my liquor I even drank Britt under the table at Brooke’s house party.”

Crossing her arms and tilting her head Taylor was clearly getting annoyed.

In sibling-speak you were winning.

“First off you know Britt is proficient in herb not booze. Secondly you weren’t even supposed to be at that party! We only let you stay because Brooke begged us. Naïve bitch.”

“I fail to see the relevance of your second point to the root dilemma we are currently in the middle of discussing. However as a counter to your first point, the rules of the contest were last man or woman standing won and if you can recall before you passed out, I consumed the highest number of **** beverages without ill-effect.”

Acid dripped from Taylor’s lips.

“Don’t get all uppity with me I know where you sleep and which SSD you stash your porn on. Also no ill-effects?! We found you ass-up wearing nothing but your socks in the pool house!”

Right you forgot about that…it was a really good house party.

“You owe me Taylor Ann Ashwood or did you forget who took the blame for the exploding duck prank.”

“I’ll never get those poor children’s screams out of my head. Who knew a Labrador retriever could run so fast…fine, I’ll make you one drink.”

“Two drinks?”

“One.”

“Four drinks?”

“One.”

“Seven drinks?”

“Do you even know how bartering works?”

“Nope but I know how to annoy you Tay! Also twelve drinks!”

“One.”

“Very well I accept your harsh terms. One drink.”

“I asked Brie for a baby sister but no we had to go and have a doofus instead.”

Taylor muttered shaking her head.

“Alright pick your poison fuckwad.”

Decisions, decisions. Perhaps we should let the reader decide that would be a good idea. We already did that fuckwad.

Oh did we?

Yeah.

Well look at that so we did!

“One Mai Tai Sweet Dee.”

“What did you just call me?”

“You heard me.”

Taylor’s eyes narrowed as she placed a glass filled with crushed ice on the bar.

“I’m not a bird.”

“I have seen no evidence to the contrary.”

FYI she is not a bird.

Says you!

Ignoring your comment as one should.

Taylor tucked a sprig of mint behind her ear, placed the shaker tin on the wooden bar and went to work on your drink. Instead of her usual lackluster pours, Taylor wowed you with a series of over the top flourishes rivaling Tom Cruise in Cocktail. Even pulling off the sweet-ass “toss the bottle up and catch it behind your back trick”.

One by one the components disappeared into the shaker till only the lime was left. Drizzling the juice into the tin she then slammed the metal cups together and shook the sweet baby Jesus out of it till both tins were as frosty as a Montreal hooker’s ass.

Cracking them apart with smack she lifted both halves above her head and let the drink rain down into the glass not spilling a drop.

Retrieving the mint sprig from behind her ear Taylor gave it a good couple of slaps against her neck then dropped it into the drink.

“There, you little chicken shit.”

Taylor jeered nudging the glass towards you.

Picking your jaw up off the floor you looked at Tay in amazement. You always knew she was a decent bartender but that was literally bonkers.

“What was that!? Why haven’t I seen you bartend like that before!”

Taylor rolled her hazelnut eyes.

“Because it’s wildly impractical. But I need to practice my flourishes before the start of the semester.”

“Why?”

“Gets me better tips. The freshies eat that shit up. They think it’s the coolest crap in the world…works pretty well on the simple-minded too.”

Ignoring Taylor’s insult you took a sip of the Mai Tai.

It was fruity, funky, refreshing with a dry finish and just hint of almond.

Annoying as she was Taylor always made one hell of a cocktail.

“So why no Mojito?”

Taylor queried leaning over and stealing a sip of your drink.

Snatching it back you answered.

“Geez, just changing it up like I told James. I swear the two of you would give me the third degree over changing my boxers.”

“I would if you ever actually changed them.”

Again ignoring Taylor’s insult. You took another sip.

“Delicious.”

“Meh, I went too strong on the pineapple juice.”