Not as much as this one!

Gazing at James you put on the biggest, mushiest, ooey-gooey set of puppy dog eyes you could muster and answered.

“Yes, but not as much as this one!”

You even tossed in some kissy lips for the full effect.

James howled with laughter.

“Alright you got me good you fuckin’ bastard!”

He clutched the wooden bar for support still cackling as you took a bow.

Simmering down after a fit of unruly laughter James fired his comeback.

“You’re lucky the god blessed ya with a sense of humor to match that funny looking mug of yours!”

“Fuck you! Besides your niece seemed to be quite smitten with my humorous mug.”

You fired back flipping him the bird.

“Low blow boy, low blow.”

James conceded returning the gesture.

“Tell me what’s she doing working for a degenerate like you?”

James’s expression soured as he started to rack pint glasses.

“Lass is working here because my brother is a right cunt.”

“Oh?”

James angrily whipped the dirty dish rag into the bin.

“The girl’s out living life enjoying her youth and the cunt has audacity to toss her out over a bit of careless spending like the prick has any right to talk about saving money.”

You could see James was outright fuming at this point.

“Pa nearly wrote the bastard out of his will for his spending. But now that it’s his money he suddenly turns into fucking Scrooge McDuck. Fucking shameless throwing out your own flesh and blood over a bit of paper.”

Leaning back you let James continue his heated tirade.

First he told you about every Christmas and birthday present his brother stole with excruciating detail.

James then meticulously recounted every cent his brother “borrowed” as kids and teenagers along with its worth today given current modest stock investment rates.

“The bastard’s been stealing from me and the family his entire life. Now that he has finally “made it” suddenly spending money is a “problem”. He’s nothing but a cock sucking cockroach!”

“Hey! Language!”

It was Taylor.

“I’ll say whatever I want in my bar ya big breasted bimbo!” James jested.

You snickered before jumping in

“Hey! My sister is no bimbo. I’ll have you know she couldn’t get a guy to sleep with her even if she paid him!”

Bad move.

Taylor pulled you into a headlock

With you squished between her right tit and arm pit she administered a classic noogie.

Suffering under the wrath of the tyrant Taylor you slapped the bar begging for James’s assistance.

United under the banner of shitty older siblings James drew the soda gun from its holster and aimed it at Taylor.

The bar’s hue shift to a gritty sepia as the patrons all cowered under tables and a tumbleweed rolled across the floor.

In the distance you heard a crow.

The camera slowly panned around the three of you.

James rolled his jaw

“Let her go”

Taylor mimicked his movement.

“You won’t do it”

Wait her?

Looking down you were suddenly clad in a frilly blue dress and bonnet.

Aw c’mon.

“You ain’t got the stones to pull that trigger Jank-eye James!”

“And I’m saying I do Titanic-titty Taylor”

Seriously what are these nicknames?

The tension was high as the second hand of the town clock inched towards high noon.

Fifty-six

Fifty-seven

What is going on?!

Fifty-eight

Fifty-nine

You flinched as the first bell tolled.

“Would you three knock it off!”

Reality snapped back as Joanne’s shrill shout shredded through the scene.

“Yeah”

“Okay”

“Alright”

The three of you grumbled.

James holstered the soda gun while simultaneously Taylor released her head lock and hopped behind the bar.

“Let me guess you’re here for some grub”

Taylor asked tying her green apron back around her waist.

“Yup” you answered before your stomach.

“One burger with Swiss, mayo and mushrooms coming up lad.”

“Wait! Can I get the fish and chips instead?”

“Taylor cut off the oxygen to your brain or something!? I ain’t never seen ya turn down a good hunk of meat!”

Taylor snorted.

“Phrasing”

Ignoring her.

“I’m fine just felt like switching it up.”

James seemed unconvinced as he headed back to the kitchen.

Spinning to face Taylor you gave her a look.

The kind of look a kid gives a parent before asking for a puppy or in your case a Charizard.

“So big sis how about a drink?”