Very Well Thank You

You spent most of Tuesday skipping class and browsing the costume department. That place was immense and possibly infinite, and there were so many good options out there for you to **** people into. Latex, mascot outfits, you just didn't know what you were going to choose! You did jot down some of your favorite stuff down in the little black book, and started making plans.

At lunch time you took a break from all of this, and joined the rest of the school in the cafeteria. You were curious if Chad was going to go back to sitting with Marty now that he had a hot girl to walk around with. To your surprise him and Lacey were waiting for you at your table.

You really did have a friend.

You set your tray down and smiled at both of them. "Hey Chad, how's it going?" You look over at Lacey who has her blonde hair up in a big bow, and is wearing pink overalls and a white shirt.

"Can't complain. Just uh..." He laughs nervously and looks over to his Dreamie. "...getting used to things."

You bet. "And how are you Lacey?"

She looks up from her chicken nuggets and smiles. "Super good. Everyone has been so nice since I became a dreamie. And look!" She throws her foot up on the table and reveals some fresh veclro kicks that light up when she walks.

"Very nice. Glad to see you getting into it!"

"Oh my gosh Lacey!" Some girl, you think her name is Lauren runs over to your table and kneels down next to Lacey. "Your wittle shoes are so cute!" She gushes in a high pitched voice. She then reaches into her bag and pulls out a pink milk carton. "I saw there was one only starwberry milk left, so I grabbed it for you."

"Omg thanks!" Lacey babbles back and hugs Lauren with all the strength her her body.

Lauren for once looks very pleased and looks over to you mouthing 'she's so cute!'

'I know!' you mouth back.

Eventually Lacey lets her go, and sends her on her way. "See?" She chirps happily. "She was such a bitch before all of this."

The three of you laugh at that, and talk about a few subjects that aren't half as weird as everything else you've got going around town. This whiff of normality is only disrupted when Lacey refers to Chad as Daddy, and eventually by the weirdest thing to ever happen at your school ever.

A scream cuts short Chad's very funny hot tub story, and you all look towards the bathrooms connected to the cafeteria. Who else but the Bottomless Bandit herself comes crashing out. She's kind of hopping on one foot as she comes out. She seems to have her leg through one hole in a pair of bright pink and white tie-dyed panties, and is trying to thread her foot through the other hole.

My god she's done it.

"Hide your briefs and cover your buns because The Bottomless Bandit is on the run!" She cackles as she finally gets the panties on, and jumps onto a table in triumph.

Naturally the entire cafeteria is stunned into silence, except for you who can't stop laughing. They all knew you told her to do this, but they never actually expected her to go through with with.

"You bitch!" Cassidy Lamberg comes running out of the bathroom with a head full of steam. She was beat read, and looked like a bull ready to gore a cocky cowboy. "Give them back!"

Brooke aka The Bottomless Bandit, aka, You Bitch, just planted her feet on the table and started shaking her panty clad ass in the air. She bend down so she could see between her legs. "Finders keepers loser streakers! Hahahaha!"

Cassidy lets loose a pretty epic scream like a feral cat and charges at the criminal of the century. Brooke just cackles and jumps from the table she's currently on to a new one, and another, and another. Kids scurry to clear their trays off the table before she can stomp on them with her bare feet. This goes well until it doesn't. She takes her final jump before the exit and her heel hits a tray. Her momentum sends her gliding down the table on one foot sending trays and mash potatoes flying everywhere. She laughs uncontrolled at her wild ride, and looks like she's having the time of her life. Until the tray hits the gap where the table folds in half. It stops her cold, and sends her falling backwards onto her butt. The Mashpotato littered table lets out a loud splat sound as she lands.

Her pursuer sees her opportunity and sprints towards the table, but a single command from you stops her cold. "Cassidy, she got you fare and square. Let her go." She looks back at you and for a moment you think she's angry enough to disobey you, but she gives in and stomps back to the bathroom to finish up whatever business put her there in the first place.

Brooke takes this opportunity to sneak out the back, and the entire school bursts into a fevered conversation of what the fuck just happened.

Chad looks at you with a gaping mouth, and you just rest your head on your hand with a dreamy smile. "Ain't life grand?"