Press 3

You've selected "Field Study" scenario! Your robo-sluts will come to you with an offer within the week. This will be easier if you take walks during the day. Thank you for your purchase and enjoy them! If you experience any oddities, don't hesitate to call our support line. They will also be under warranty for the first two years. Good bye.

***---***

It occurred to me that my choice may have been poorly thought out. Shuddering, I kept my hands buried in my coat pockets. Going for walks during the winter may not have been the best choice. I also wished they gave a better time frame than "within the week". That implied they could show up the very next day. On the bright side, my doctor always did tell me I needed to get out more.

It was three days after I finished my order that it happened. "Excuse me! Male human! Not you, that one. Excuse me!" a somewhat nasally voice called from behind me. Turning, I saw my purchases coming toward me. It was pretty funny, actually, watching her trying to jog over to me. Peridot may be taller, but her legs were still rather short and her running posture was less than efficient. The fact that Lapis was keeping pace at a brisk walk only made it better. I managed to hold back any laughter.

Reaching me, Peridot panted, hunched over and hands on her knees. "Um...are you...?" I began, a little confused as to how she could be out of breath. Did Gems have lungs? Holding up a finger to tell me to wait a moment, she continued panting. Lapis blew a bubble as she patted her on the back. "Take it easy, Peri," she chastised.

Shooing Lapis's hands away, Peridot stood up straight. "Take it easy? When we FINALLY found a suitable test subject? I don't think so," the green skinned lady countered, waving a disapproving finger at her taller friend. While Peridot was mostly dressed as she was on the show...albeit wearing a pair of glasses and a lab coat (on closer inspection, her glasses had no lenses. She probably wore them to look more professional), Lapis wore jeans and a baseball jersey. Hm. She looked more than a little different without the bags under her eyes.

"Test subject?" I parroted, raising an eyebrow. Lapis glanced at Peridot. "Told you not to call them that." Scoffing, Peridot pushed her glasses up on her nose. "Yes, test subject. For my study into humans. You may find this hard to believe, but we are aliens," she informed me.

I glanced at them. "...the thought had occurred to me, yeah," I replied dryly. They were green and blue. Plus Peridot's hair was standing straight up in a triangle like shape. Them not being human was kind of obvious. Letting out an "ooo!" of eagerness, Peridot pulled out a mini recorder. "Subject claims to be able to tell we are not human. Possibly a bluff, will determine more later," she announced before turning back to me as if she had said nothing. "My name is Peridot. This is Lapis Lazuli." She gestured to Lapis who gave a half hearted wave.

"As I stated," Peridot continued, "I'm studying humans. In particular this oddity of the "male". Being the brilliant mind that I am, I am determined to understand the differences between females and males. With that in mind, we'll need to observe you for a time."

"...observe me," I repeated, sounding skeptical. Peridot nodded as Lapis sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Clearly she had a better understanding of social cues. "Look," Lapis said, "we won't bother you much. Just watch you for a bit. If you don't say yes, she'll just sneak into your house and spy on you." I glanced back to Peridot who nodded proudly. Apparently she took pride in her stubbornness or something.