Skunk Attack!

Lauren groaned as she sat up in the bush, removing the leaves and twigs from her hair as she muttered angrily to herself. Suddenly, Lauren heard a high-pitched chattering noise come from right next to her. Confused, Lauren looked to her left just in time to see nine, black and white bushy tails shoot straight up. Lauren’s confusion was soon replaced by abject terror…

Emily was just about to call out to Lauren when the latter let out a horrified scream. Her scream was accompanied by a hissing noise, which in turn was followed by an awful smell. As the women gagged and covered their noses, they noticed a family of skunks scurrying out of the bush Lauren had landed it. A few seconds later, Lauren stumbled out of the bush, coughing and gagging as felt her eyes burning. Stifling a laugh, Martha opened her water bottle before pouring some of it into Lauren’s eyes. Lauren gave a quick thanks before erupting into another coughing fit.

“Are you okay, Lauren?” Sam asked, stifling a laugh as she held her nose.

Lauren glared up at the other woman. “No I am not okay!” She snapped as she sat down on another log, sitting her backpack down beside her, “I just got sprayed by an entire family of skunks! I hate camping!”

“Then why did you agree to this?” Martha asked, despite knowing the answer herself. “You could have just said no.”

“The only reason I agreed to this was because of –“Lauren immediately stopped mid-sentence as she gasped in horror, “KEVIN! He’s going to be here any minute, and I stink to high heaven!”

As Lauren began to panic, the three women couldn’t help but laugh at Lauren’s expense…a feat that was quite difficult to accomplish as they held their noses. Lauren looked up angrily and snarled, “This isn’t funny! Help me now!”

“Okay,” Emily said with a laugh, “the way I see it, we’ve got two options here. First, you can go down to the lake and scrub yourself like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing that…” Lauren deadpanned with a blasé expression.

“Option two,” Emily continued, “is that Martha goes down to that store we stopped at on the way up here and buys an inflatable kiddie pool, rubber gloves, scrub brushes, and about two dozen jugs of tomato juice.”

“That’s just an old wives tale…” Martha commented a matter-of-factly, “The actual cure for skunk spray is – “

“I know what the actual cure is.” Emily said, rolling her eyes. She then gave Martha a subtle wink as she added, “But did you see any of the new stuff in that store?”

Martha shook her head no, hiding a sly smile.

“But that might take to long.” Lauren whined, “Can’t I just go with her to pick up the – “

“You are NOT stinking up my new car, Lauren!” Martha snapped. “And besides,” she returned a subtle wink to Emily, “I’ll make sure that I’m back before Kevin shows up. Then you can hide out in one of the tents until I go out again and buy you some new clothes.”

“New clothes…?” Lauren asked, genuinely confused.

“Don’t you know?” Samantha asked, a smirk on her face. “Once you get tagged by a skunk, you’ll never get the smell out of your clothes. And from the smell of things, you’ll never get it out of your backpack either; it and everything you have in there are ruined. They’re going to need to be burned.”

“WHAT?!” Lauren shrieked, her face going pale. “Please, I can’t burn everything I brought!”

“Look Lauren, you’re running out of time!” Emily said, “It’s either the lake, the tomato juice, or you wait for the smell to go away while you’re with my brother. And by the way,” she donned a cruel smirk, “if you want to seduce him, smelling like a skunk will not win him over.”

Lauren let out a whimper as she weighed her options. Finally, she sighed as she shook her head. “Okay, fine. I’ll take the tomato bath.” She then glared at the three, adding, “But none of you better look at me! And you,” she pointed to Martha, “had better return before Kevin gets here!”

“Cross my heart…” Martha said, crossing her fingers as she gave Emily a subtle wink.

Emily returned the wink as she said, “And don’t worry. We wouldn’t dream of looking at you.”

Lauren folded her arms over her chest, muttering angrily as Martha made her way down the trail to her car. Nearby, Samantha and Emily chuckled evilly as they sat a good distance away from their stinky coworker, knowing full well that this was only the beginning.