If I flat-line will you give me mouth to mouth?

That’s what you came up with!?

Are you positive Chris said hilarious?

I think he might have meant hilarious-looking.

Because that would make a lot more sense.

Sigh fine.

Staring at the Haley’s backside you broke out your “award-winning” line.

“Ugh!” Haley groaned turning to face her would-be catcaller.

The first thing to catch your eye was her expression as it morphed from disgust to pleasant surprise at the sight of your dopey mug. The second was the cocked and loaded coffee mug no doubt aimed at the same dopey mug.

“It’s you”

“Yup I’m me”

The two of you stood in sappy silence for a moment till you finally spoke up.

“Were you going to throw that coffee in my face if I wasn’t me?”

Haley slowly stashed the cup off to her side.

“Um…perhaps.”

“Seems like a bad move to throw hot coffee in someone’s face.”

She shrugged.

“So is catcalling strangers.”

“Fair point”

Note to self only catcall willing participants or at least maintain sufficient distance to dodge projectiles.

“Besides its not hot coffee.”

She rolled her eyes at the coffee pot.

“It’s never hot.”

She added now glaring at it with contempt.

“Not to interrupt your coffee hate but you wanna move this conversation outside?”

Haley peeked over your shoulder clearly watching something.

“Sounds good to me!”

Moving off to her side you could have sworn you heard the scuffling of chairs. Walking with her to the door you did take note of a few too many whistling doctors and nurses.

Suspicious.

With Haley close to your side the two of you followed a path through the small outdoor spaces dotting the hospitals perimeter. She asked you fairly basic questions about your health, the hospital stay, hobbies, likes, dislikes etc. Clearly trying to feel out the motivation behind the impromptu walk unaware of Chris’s betrayal. You answered nonchalantly giving her the same answers you’d been feeding everyone so far. But answered the personal questions honestly. She seemed to enjoy this. Often you steered the conversation to the flowers along the path pulling her aside to get her opinion on their colors, smells and the like.

Given the last twenty four hours it felt normal, nice. It was evident she was feeling you out trying to work out your emotions about her while sensing you doing the same.

Two awkward butterflies both too scared to make the first move.

But whilst you hammed it up, you kept the ace up your sleeve knowing her secret affection for you.

Sitting down on a bench you both watched the grounds. Listening to the idle chatter of the patients and nurses, the chirp of crickets, the docile songs of robins and blue jays.

You figured now was as good a time as any other.

“Full disclosure. I ran into your partner Chris.”

A shiver ran up Haley’s spine and a flush of pastel pink flooded her cheeks.

Evidently Chris is more Swiss cheese and less bank vault.

She anxiously awaited your next few sentences.

“He told me about your crush on me.”

You prepared to dial 911 watching her soul leave her body.

“Truthfully I was going to seek you out anyways but his blabbermouth was just the confidence boost I needed. And just in case I’m not clear I dig you a lot.”

Haley quietly tucked a lock of blond hair behind her ear. Keeping her face hidden from you.

“Full disclosure. I figured as much after your mom cornered me in the hallway.”

You silently watched as the ball left your side of the court and Haley spiked it back straight into your face.

She giggled seeing the embarrassment wash over you.

“It’s not every day the mayor pulls you aside to talk. Even rarer to have her ask your preference on guys…and opinion on grandkids.”

Subtle Brie…real fucking subtle.

Sitting there wishing you had invested those hundred galleons into that black market time-turner you were stunned when Haley grabbed your arm.

“I’d still like to go out if you want.”

Fuck the time-turner that invisibility cloak was a much better investment anyways.

“Yes. Definitely yes.”

Both content you again sat there watching the day pass by but this time with Haley on your arm.

The End.

…

What? The hero got the girl story’s over go home.

Unfinished plot points? Missing character growth? Central conflict still unresolved…oh c’mon no one cares about that stuff.

We got the lovey-dovey pairing and mushy ending. We’re done here.

Whoa whoa watch where you point that down vote.

No! No don’t you leave that comment.

Hey that’s it get over here!

(Off-screen fight noises.)

…Ow

Fine, fine you win.

Unfortunately all good things must come to…No! I’m not doing it and you can’t make me.

Ow

Ow

Not the hair!

Not the hair!

Alright, alright I give.

Unfortunately all good things must come to end and the ping of Haley’s cell-phone brought a bittersweet end to your good time.

…I’m finding out where you live

“Sorry I’ve got to run! I’ll text you about our date!” She shouted scampering off.

You questioned how she’d get your number but instantly remembered Brie.

Clever girls.

…And I’m bringing Deadpool and maybe the other X-Men if I can afford the licensing fees.