Self Exploration

After that, the situation got a whole lot less awkward. Clara left Lilly sitting in front of the TV, her legs pulled up and curled around her as she watched. Tearing herself away from that sight proved difficult, since Lilly was showing off her body rather casually, and it made Clara feel a little bit hot under the corner. She found an excuse and departed quickly to the bed room, where a collection of clothes had been built up for her use. Most of them were not what you would call the height of fashion, but at least she wouldn't have to wear the party dress all the time. It might have been a sexy look for her, but it was also tight as hell, and made moving a little bit difficult. She'd chosen it to make herself look desirable, as she'd approached the party with big plans, but she had to admit, in retrospect, she probably could have been a bit more practical.

Clare considered for a moment just grabbing a shirt and some sweat pants. They were comfortable and easy to wear. But rather more ''casual'' than ''sexy''. That thought gave her pause for a moment, and she looked at herself in the dress mirror as she slowly examined her intentions. Did she just want to look good, or was it for Alex? Or even Lilly? The thought made her flush, she was unsure, but somehow, she didn't want to be the one to just put on casual clothes. Not when Lilly was stalking around in an oversized shirt with no pants or panties.

Suddenly, it clicked for her, and Clara looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"Clare Ellison," she said to herself, "You're jealous."

The thought was so silly she almost couldn't help but grin at it, but it was the truth. Now that Lilly had opened a whole new frontier to their relationship, she wasn't quite sure where she stood anymore. As a result, something that she previously would have considered safe was making her feel a bit worried. She realised it wasn't that she really felt that Lilly was trying to steal Alex, or anything silly like that. Rather, she was just aware of Lilly's body, and how easy it was to desire it. Probably because on some level, she desired it too. So it was natural for her to imagine that Alex would be tempted by it.

So what if he was, she asked herself. It wasn't like she was supposed to get a choice in this sort of thing either. She was a slave, right? In fact, maybe he would punish her for even thinking to presume she could tell him what to pay attention to. She shook her head, a wry grin on her face.

Not the time for that fantasy. She said to herself, as fun as it might be to imagine how she would be punished. No, she was going to examine the source of her unease a little bit more. She already knew it wasn't because she feared that Lilly would steal Alex or anything like that... she trusted Alex, and besides, their relationship was far from normal. Maybe she'd feel differently when the week was over, and she was no longer a slave. But for now, if Alex really was tempted by Lilly, then the most she would ask was to be included as well. It could be a bonding thing, even!

So it wasn't that she was worried about Alex. Was the insecurity something about herself? Did she feel that her own body couldn't quite compare? Hmm, maybe. Clara took a step back, examining herself with a critical eye. Her skin was paler than Lilly's, and her body more slender. Lilly was more toned, and had longer, fuller legs, but a smaller chest. Neither of them was bulky, but Lilly was the more muscular one slightly. Her whole body was lithe, a lifetime of sports had seen to that. Sometimes, she seemed like a coiled spring, full of energy and power in spite of her slender frame. Whereas, Clara wasn't really a sportswoman. She was healthy. and she was slender, but she lacked the same definition, and she knew that in a race or sport, Lilly would quite literally run circles around her.

She supposed it came down to confidence, as things often did with Lilly. The way she looked, and the way she acted. She knew she was sexy. She knew that guys couldn't help but look twice at her. Whereas, Clara was still new to her sexuality. She'd touched herself before many times, of course. But this was the first time she'd truly explored it with anyone else. She realised that was why she felt uneasy. Lilly was a rock, an anchor for her in this chaotic new world. But, Lilly also was someone who was supremely sure in her own body, who made Clara's faltering first steps seem shambolic and petty. Clara was just starting to grasp her sexuality, but Lilly had come into her own as a woman long ago.

So, what did she do about it? If she wanted, she could just throw on the casual clothes and wait for Alex to get back. But that would be admitting that Lilly outclassed her totally, and some part of Clara didn't like that. Yeah, maybe Lilly was an old hand at this game, but it still stung to be beaten so badly you didn't even see the point of trying.

The hell with that, Clara decided. Maybe Lilly would beat her, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to do her best. If she really did intend to explore this new side of herself, she had to make the effort for herself as well as for others. So the casual clothes were out. What then? Stay naked? Tempting, but probably not the right answer. If Clara had learned one thing from Lilly, it was that her mentor could somehow be more desirable in clothes than she was naked. It was all about presence, about hinting at what was there. Once you were naked, there was nowhere else to go, but if you had clothes, you could hint and tease with them. That was a lesson she intended to master, and quickly.

Clara grinned, looking up at herself again in the mirror. She stood, adjusting her stance, watching herself, she schooled her expression into what she imagined was a sultry look.

"Well, master?" She said. "Are you going to stand there, or are you going to come in and ravage me? I hope you don't mind that I got dressed up for it, it's not every day a girl gets pinned against a wall and fucked, you know?"

She cocked her head to the side, then gave it a shake.

"Maybe a different line. That one is a bit too blunt. Besides, I need to look the piece first. Lilly thinks she's so sexy, lazing around in just a shirt, let's see what I can do to change that..."

Even if she could not project the aura of confidence and strength that was the foundation of Lilly's sexual attraction, Clara realised she was miles better than the shaking young woman she had been but days ago. Nervous and shy, and stuttering with every other word.

She turned back to the clothes she had gotten, both from Lilly and from Alex. They were an eclectic mix, but a few at least seemed to be what she was after. Guys liked legs, right? Well, she knew that she did, anyway, so she choose a pair of black tights, sitting on the bed, and drawing them up over her legs. The fabric clung to her skin, and Clara realised she was in the odd position of wearing nothing at all but those tights., It felt strange, and she paused for a few moments to examine that sensation.

Once the tights were on, she stood up, and looked at herself in the mirror one more time. She didn't look that different really, but she felt different. With the tights on, the eye was drawn to her legs, showing off her body in a way that would have made her flush red before. Now, she felt different. She was still embarrassed a little, but she also felt empowered. Sexy. She felt sexy. The tights clung to her body, making her feel desired, wanted. Next, she fetched a skirt, not a super short one, but nor one that was too long either. It fell to her thighs, showing off her leg. As she wriggled into it, Clara delighted in the feeling. It was as though she was rebuilding herself on some level. When she had come here, she had been a different person. She'd been shy and nervous, a girl who wanted her fantasy fulfilled. Then, she had been a slave, forbidden to wear underwear, and forced to spend time naked for the joy of her master. She had enjoyed that, the sense of helplessness and humiliation had been glorious.

But now she was seeing another possible form of enjoyment. She was still a slave, but now she was a confident one, a woman who was not afraid of her own body, and yet who didn't have to be naked to show it off. It was all about poise, confidence, strength. Staying helpless all the time was the wrong choice, she could see that now. Oh, it was fun for now, but if she did it to much, it would lose its edge. After all, where the joy in powerlessness if you never had any power to begin with? It was the change, the transition, where you found the leading edge, the humiliation.

Or maybe she just wanted to explore a different part of herself today. Who knew?

Clara next grabbed a tight shirt, and put it on. It clung to her chest, showing off her breasts and curves. But she didn't like it. It was too obvious. Instead, she went for a looser one, the curve of the neck was low cut, hinting at her cleavage while revealing nothing major, and it still showed off her figure, just not as obviously.

She looked very different now from the woman who had walked in mere minutes ago. That Clara had been naked. unsure. This Clara was different. The clothes she was wearing were a little strange, but they heightened her feeling of desirability, she felt that between the skirt, the tights, and the top, she looked hot. Not to mention, the still very visible collar around her neck.

But there was still something missing, wasn't there? She frowned at the mirror, wondering what it might be then. Then, it clicked. She wanted to go a step further. Once more, she returned to the wardrobe, but this time, she was not looking for clothes. She knew it had to be here somewhere, so where could it...?

Ah! There it was!

Clara grinned to herself, taking a familiar device from the place where it had last been left. It was the small vibrator Alex had used to tease her before. Clara shivered, remembering what it had felt like, the way it had burred and buzzed, and how this had made her womanhood constrict, and her desire soar. As with before, it felt cold to the touch. Clara looked at herself in the mirror, intentionally lingering over the process. One hand held the device, while the other gently touched her waist, sliding down her legs with a sort of gradual inevitability. She felt the breathe catch in her lungs, a soft ache beginning between the folds of her womanhood. She could have just inserted the vibrator by feel, but she didn't. Instead, she took hold of her skirt, and pulled up upwards, revealing her naked pussy. She felt hot down there, and her lower lips were already wet. A shiver raced down her spin as she gently placed the tip of the vibrator against her lower lips, running it slowly up and down her slit.

"Ah..." She moaned, her head swimming with the feeling. She was watching herself be pleasured by her own hands in the mirror, and she realised she was enjoying it too. This wasn't for Alex, or for Lilly, but for herself. This moment was hers, and hers alone.

Still watching herself, Clara took a half step back, and then another, and then another, until she was backed up against the bed. She sat down, the fabric was soft against her skin, the feeling of the vibrator was making her tingle. She spread her legs, and with her free hand, flicked one of the switches on the remote for the vibrator. It buzzed to life suddenly, sending shock-waves rippling through her lower body. Clare's face turned pale, she pressed the small plastic device tightly between her legs, its vibrations permeating through her folds, and shaking her insides. Her mouth went numb, and she was breathing heavily. Her body twitched, her pussy seeming to grow more and more excited.

Clara looked at the image in the mirror, seeing her double. A pale-skinned young woman with sparkling blue eyes, her legs spread, a vibrator pressed against her womanhood, making her squirm and moan with each cycle. As the device purred away between her legs, Clara arched her back, but did her best to keep her eyes open, watching her own game reflected back at her. The sight was intoxicating, arousing. She had entered a strange state of hyper focus, and seemed able to take in every last detail of her reflection. The way her face had gone pale, the way that her desire beaded her lower lips, staining her thighs as she squirmed. The way her nipples had grown hard, pressing through the fabric of her top.

Clara reached for her top, pulling down the collar to reveal her chest, her hand gently working her breasts, her fingers touching and stroking herself in the way she knew she liked to be touched. Her whole body felt hot, and her muscles were tingling now, she could feel the tight pressure between her legs that marked a coming orgasm.

Clara came a few moments later. It was not the strongest climax she had felt this week, but it was one of the most personal. Her body bucked, her eyes screwed tightly shut. Her hands clenched into fists, and she threw her head back, biting tightly against her lower lip to stifle the moan that might alert Lilly to what she had been doing.

When she was done, Clara sat on the bed for a few more minutes, enjoying the afterglow. Then, she went back to work. She found a band of fabric, which she secured around her thigh, just under the trailing edge of her skirt. To this, she connected the remote for the vibrator, and the machine itself, she gently tapped between her lower legs, pressing it tightly against her vulva.

She stood up then, her legs shaking only a little bit, and moved to the wardrobe one last time. She withdrew another toy, a set of small nipple clamps, tied together by a bronze chain. Wincing as she did it, Clara began to fumble with her breasts, her fingers closing around her nipples, and rubbing them slowly but relentlessly. When she judged that they were aroused enough, she opened one of the clamps, and pressed the metal against her bud. She hesitated, but only for a moment, and then let the teeth close against her skin. There was pain, but not as much as she had expected. She repeated the operation with the other nipple, and then, took the bronze chain and connected it to a hook on her collar. This drew the clamps tight, pulling them upwards, and making her wince and groan. The pain as they pulled on her nipples was constant, and she had to be careful with each motion she made, especially if she turned her neck or head.

Her reflection looked back at her. It was obvious now that she had gone beyond here clothes. The remote for her vibrator was peeking out beneath the hem of her skirt, and the bronze chain rose from under her top, and connected to her collar. Clara looked at herself for a few moments. Had she gone too far? For a moment, she worried, for a moment, she hesitated.

But then, she gathered her courage and went to face the rest of the day on her own terms.