The Derpsitter Interview

“Ok, sweetie, are you ready to interview for the derpsitter position?” asked Brenda as she walked into the throne room. John sat on his throne as Idena gave him her daily briefing. While John did not like this aspect of ruling, he did know it was important and thus powered through it to get to the parts he enjoyed more.

“Of course, mother,” John said as he got up from his chair and headed towards his mother. Idena walked next to him as they made their way to Brenda.

“Always a pleasure to see you, your Honorable,” Idena said as she bowed to Brenda. The MILF blushed and smiled at the respect the harpy gave her. However, she quickly grabbed the birdgirl and brought up her upright again.

“Come now, Idena! I have told you a million times: you don’t have to bow to me!” Brenda scolded the young harpy.

“I am sorry, but you are the Chief of Staff and John’s mother, you deserve the highest of respect!” countered Idena. “I must always show you the proper respect!” Brenda sighed as she brought the harpy in for a hug. Idena’s face found it nestled in the older woman’s cleavage, which she happily nuzzled.

“It’s alright, dear. You can call me whatever you wish,” Brenda told Idena.

“Of course, Mother Mistress,” Idena said with a big grin on her face.

“Except that in public!” Brenda hastily said as she grabbed Idena’s cheek and dragged her away from Brenda’s well endowed chest. “That name is for the bedroom only!” she said as she gave Idena’s ass a light slap. “Now, John and I need to go interview the potential derpsitters. You get back to work!” commanded Brenda, to which Idena bowed and left the two.

“’Mother Mistress?’” asked John, who had a big shit-eating grin on his face. Brenda glared at his son for a moment before she relaxed her face.

“What Idena and I do together in our spare time is none of your business, young man!” Brenda said as she shook her finger at her son. John let out a little laugh before he stepped closer to his mother. His right hand snaked its way up her leg and onto her pantyless pussy. His other hand found its way to her chest and began to play with her nipples. Brenda gave a slight gasp as her son’s hands teased her pussy and nipples.

“Everything that happens in my kingdom is my business, mom,” John told her as he continued his teasing of Brenda. “But we have a job to do, so let’s go do it,” John said as he removed his hands from his mother and made his way out the door.

“W-wait, young man!” Brenda said as she attempted to catch her breath. “You can’t get your mother all worked up and then leave!” she said in between gasps of breath.

“Come on mom, these girls aren’t going to interview themselves!” John said as he walked down the hallway to the interview room.

“Johnathan Newman, you will be taking care of me later tonight, DO YOU HEAR ME YOUNG MAN?!” Brenda said in her most stern mother voice she could muster as she followed after her son.
John and Brenda sat in their interview room with four manilla folders on the desk that was in front of them. Brenda grabbed the first folder and opened it up as she spoke about the first girl. John grabbed the folder and began to look at all the information his mother had gathered for this girl.

“Ok, so this young lady is our first interviewee. She would only give her nickname and she used to go to your school honey!” Brenda said as she moved to grab the picture from the folder.

“Nope,” John said as he saw the picture of the girl and her name.

“But dear, shouldn’t we at le-”

“No, mom,” John said as he cut off his mother. “Rave’s family works for the Abyss Auction. Her wanting to be a derpsitter could easily just be them wanting to plant a spy in our kingdom,” John said.

“Now that is ridiculous, sweetie!” Brenda said.

“Is it, mom?” John asked. “Do you already forget that the Cabal tried to plant a spy in our ranks with Doug?”

“Yes, that is true. Very well, we won’t use her,” Brenda said as she closed the folder and moved it to a rejected pile. She then grabbed the next folder and laid it out in front of her son. “This one is a girl named Ba’rula. She is an orc teenager who wants to get a job,” Brenda told John, who looked at the information that had been gathered for him to read.

“Hmm. Should could be a good one, send her in,” John said. His mother nodded as she got up from the table and went to the side door. Brenda disappeared in it for a minute or two before she came back out with an orcish girl. Brenda showed her to a seat in front of the table opposite John and her seats.

“So, Ba’rula, what makes you think you’ll be a good derpsitter?” John asked. He watched as the orc made a strange face when he said ‘derpsitter’ but quickly regained her composure and answered the question.

“Well, I’ve done a bit of babysitting before. My clan has-”

“No, not babysitting,” John said, quickly cutting Ba’rula off. “It’s derpsitting. There is a slight difference between the two,” John told the orc.

“Oh? Uh..well, I’ve never heard of a derp. So, what exactly is it?” she asked.

“Well that is a very good question. Mimi and Yaya are... kids. They somehow get up to stuff but every time we try to put any sense to it, any time we are close to a hypothesis, they do something so derpy, so silly, that it gets thrown out of the window moments later. Think you can handle that?” John asked the young orc.

“Uh wait. What do you mean by ‘do something so derpy’ cause that sounds awfully vague,” asked the young orc teenager.

“Uh well...that’s kinda hard to explain. Basically they just kinda do silly things or crazy things and everything just kinda works out,” John tried to explain.
“Oh, I see...” said Ba’rula, her voice not very confident. After what seemed like a very long silence between them all, before the orc spoke again. “Listen, I just want an easy job to make some quick cash. I figured babysitting would be super easy, low effort work. But maybe Na’rila was right, maybe I should just do blowjobs for cash...” said the young orc girl as she got up out of her seat. “So I’mma have to pass on this,” she said as she walked towards the door. John looked over to his mother and shrugged.

“Very well, dear, let me show you the way out,” Brenda said as she got up from her chair and made her way to the door with the orc. John looks over the remaining applicants and picked one out that he wanted to see next.

“She seems like a good candidate for the derps,” John said to himself as he waited for his mother to return. Brenda made her way back after a few minutes and after seeing who her son had picked out for the next interview, went and got her for the next interview.

“Hi, I’m Gabriela, nice to meet you both!” said a cheerful nagagirl. The naga had auburn red scales that matched her long hair. She wore a jean skirt with a red shirt and tan coat. She had a cute red hat on that matched the red cheek marks on her face. Her smile and eyes made her seem very kind and loving, the perfect person to watch over the derps now that everyone else was too busy to do it.

“It’s nice to meet you, Gabriela. I am John and this is my Chief of Staff, Brenda,” John said as he pointed to his mother.

“I’m also his mother!” Brenda said as she grabbed John’s cheek and gave it a squeeze.

“MOOOOOOOM! Not in front of a potential employee!” John said with a huff.

“I’m sorry sweetie, but its just so cute seeing you act as a leader. It makes me very proud!” Brenda said as she hugged her son.

“Yes, yes, thanks but let’s get back to the interview!” John said as he removed his mother from him.

“Of course, dear,” she said as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Gabriela let out a little laugh as she watched the two.

“You two seem like you really love each other! That’s so great!” she said with a big smile on her face. “My family is also very close so I know exactly how you both feel!”

Oh I highly doubt your family is as close as ours is. Thought John as he felt his mother’s hand rest on his crotch. John ignored the simulation and continued on with the interview.

“I really like the energy you are radiating,” John told Gabriela. “I believe you might be the perfect derpsitter! Now before you ask, derps are kids who seem to be able to do unexplainable funny or silly or derpy things with no explanation known. We just know they are very loving and always want to play. Sadly, we’ve become too busy to do it ourselves like before, so now we need a dedicated person to do it, which would be you,” John told the nagagirl.

“I see. I’ve always enjoyed being around kids and I think I'll enjoy playing with them all day!” Gabriela said enthusiastically.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” John said as he turned to him mother. “Shall you get them?” he asked her.

“Of course, sweetie,” Brenda replied as she got up and went to a different room. No more than five seconds since she left, the door burst open and the two derps raced up to the stranger in the room.

“She looks like your sneks!” gasped Yatina.

“Bob, Sssssam, Ssssshantel, its a big you!” exclaimed Mimi. The three sneks moved over to Gabriela and stuck out their tongues at her, sizing her up. The three quickly gave her a lick before moving back to their normal positions.

“The sneks like her!” said a cheerful Mimi.

“Shall conduct the tests of derpiness?!” asked Yatina.

“Yes, let’s!” nodded Mimi as she moved close to Gabriela and sniffed her. Yatina quickly followed suit and sniffed the nagagirl. Gabriela sat on her chair, not sure exactly what to do but smile.

“Hmm. My nose says shes a-ok!” announced Mimi.

“My nose agrees!” Yatina said as she wiggled hers.

“Next, onto the lick test!” Yatina said as she flew into the air, grabbed Mimi and lifted her so they both were at Gabriela’s face. The two then took a long lick of Gabriela’s face. The poor girl tried not to pull away but did close her eyes and scrunch up her face in surprise at the sudden lick attack.

“She tastes derpy!” Mimi told the group.

“I think so, too!” agreed Yatina. Yatina looked over to Mimi, who nodded to the derpy dragon, who nodded back to the derpy gorgon.

“Now, the final test!” Yatina announced to the room.

“Pat us!” Mimi told Gabriela. Gabriela gave the two derps a quizzical look and then quickly shot a glance over to John and Brenda.

“It’s alright, sweetie, just give them a few pats,” Brenda encouraged the girl.

“Uh, sure. I’ll be happy to pat you two!” Gabriela said with a smile as she brought her hands down on the derps head at the same time and made sure to jostle their hair with each pat.

“She’s a good derp!” Mimi said as the pats concluded.

“We want her!” Yatina told John and Brenda.

“Yeah! She’ll be fun to play with!” Mimi decided.

“We can have lots of fun with her!” Yatina told the group.

“Let’s hug her!” Mimi said as she jumped onto Gabriela and latched onto the unsuspecting nagagirl.

“Good idea!” Yatina said as she flew up and hugged Gabriela from the other side.

“Well, what do you say, Gabriela? Do you want the job?” asked John.

“SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!” the derps chanted in unison as they continued to hug their potential new derpsitter.

“Well, how can I say no to these two adorable little girls?!” Gabriela said as she made sure to nuzzle each girl as they hugged her.

“Glad to hear that! Welcome to the Kingdom of Tenebris! Just let me give you your official seal, the Derpsitter seal, and you’ll be able to come and go as you please. Your job will basically be to spend as much time as you want with the two. We’ll pay you hourly for your work and cover any expenses that may arise. You have total authority over the girls save for a few people like myself or my mother. So, when would you like to start?” asked John as he reached his hand out to Gabriela.