Of Course Not

Lois Lane stared at the dome of her new belly. Most women, she reflected, had time to get used to the idea of being pregnant. They saw their waist thicken, week by week. The numbers on the scale creep up a pound at a time. Their bodies would get used to the weight, the hormones, the shift in center of gravity.

The Daily Planet's greatest reporter had gone from zero to pregnant with twins in a matter of minutes. She lay back, pinned to the bed by the great mass of her midsection. Thoughts and emotions racing too fast to process as forty weeks of pregnancy hormones hit her at once. Her stomach rumbled, her ankles felt swollen, her tits ached.

And the twins were fighting.

"Ow!" Lois said as the babies kicked her. "Settle down, you two!"

If they could hear her, they weren't listening.

She stared dolefully at her belly...and then noticed, for the first time, her breasts. There were more prominent, softer, the nipples dark and puffy, surrounded by little bumps. Lois felt the soreness in them and brought one hand up to give a little squeeze—nothing came out but Lois could feel the added squish and heft to her bosom.

Figures it would take motherhood to get me a decent rack, she reflected.

All things considered, the reporter felt weirdly calm about the whole situation. The sudden appearance of her mother, the appearance and disappearance of the demon that had tried to **** her—Lois knew she should be freaking out about the whole thing. Yet as her belly wobbled a bit from the internal strife, she just felt very...accepting of the situation.

Okay, so I'm pregnant. What next?

Lois Lane reviewed her options. If she could make it to a phone, she could call for help. Zatanna was good at magic stuff, she could probably handle the surprise pregnancy. Or, if that failed, there was Lois Lane's great backup plan...calling Superman for help. The reporter frowned. She wasn't keen for him to see her like this. Even though she had perfectly reasonable explanation, she could imagine it would kill whatever budding romance there was between them to see her bloated like a frog.

Or, she thought to herself, gritting her teeth and trying to sit up. I can get off my ass and get to a hospital. Pregnant women do that all the time.

Huffing, red-faced, the reporter tried to lift herself into a sitting position.