Mom

After a long hug I sit back straight again and shake my head to clear my mind. Just get us home, I had to get us home. Stay focused on that.

I put the car back into gear and continue on. Lucian asks questions, clearly worried about me, but I brush them off. I insist everything is fine. But things weren’t fine, not one little bit, and it had nothing to do with him. I meant every word I said to him. I felt terrible about my outburst but happy that we’d made up and things were cleared up. I hadn’t meant for this bargain of ours to be binding in a literal way, but now that it was I couldn’t imagine it would change much. While my feelings for Lucian were settled I could not calm the rest of my spirit. I felt…fragile, taut, on the edge of something very bad. My focus on the road ahead is the only thing that held it all together.

Eventually he gives up asking about me. Reaching out he takes my right hand which, unconsciously, had been repeatedly gripping at my side. My fingers had almost rubbed my palm raw. “I’m here for you Jacob.” He says.

“I know sweetie. Thank you.”

He guides my hand back to the steering wheel and I grip it tight. “Want me to drive?”

“No. I’m okay.” I lie. “Just visit with Sloopy. You’re going to have to show the others she’s a good girl.”

“Okay.”

We drive for hours back along the same route we’d taken the day before. Despite myself, as we get to the more familiar roads, I end up driving faster the nearer we got. I just had to get home. I just had to get home. I just had to get home. It is the only thing I allow myself to think about. I could sense Lucian was really getting concerned but I ignore it and just stay focused on the road. I felt ready to explode when at last I see the turn into the estate up ahead. Driving as fast I safely could I weave the Porsche up the long winding drive to the manor, we are almost there when I realize I am driving one handed. My right hand rubbing hard against my thigh.

As we break the trees into the front yard area I can see my dad, grandma, and Bronwyn were already waiting for us, the former two decked out for battle. In the front door my demonic mother stood watching, well back from where the celestial creature would be brought out.

“Oh no.” Lucian says in a fearful tone. “They look ready for a fight!”

Looking over at him. “You have to convince them sweetie. You’ll have to stand up to them. I know you can do it.”

“We can do it.”

As I slow to a stop in front of the others I say with a sorrowful sigh. “I…I have to go. You got this Lucian.”

He wants to say something but holds his tongue. Instead he just nods, seeming to understand. I park the car with his door facing the house. As he gets out, arms out in front of him in a gesture for everyone to stay calm, I get out and march right around them making straight for the house.

“Jacob!” My father shouts. “Get back here.” If their entire focus hadn’t been trained on the creature crammed in the car one of them would have surely come to stop me. I hear Lucian speak with them but I give it no attention.

I reach the front door. My mother stands there in her gorgeous Succubus form, her amber eyes smolder with barely masked anger. I lower my head and **** my way past her.

“Jacob.” She says, following in my wake. “I would like to speak with you.” Parental ire dripped from every word.

“I know! I know!” I say without looking back. “I fucked up! I know!”

“Don’t take that tone with me. I did nothing to deserve that.”

I bite my lips so as not to make the situation worse. I storm straight into the nearest washroom and slam the door behind me. “Give me a minute!” I call out, the sink is already on and my hands lathering soap beneath the stream. “I need to go to the…”

The door swings back open and my mother moves forward to fill the space, arms crossed and her eyes narrow. She was in no mood for youthful foolishness. “I think we should talk about this right now Jacob. I saw the collar. That better not be what I think it is. And a celestion!? What happened out there? What did you two do?”

I let out a snort of impotent frustration. “Leave me alone!” I whine.

“Jacob, we need to talk.”

I try to ignore her and just focus down. Washing, washing, washing my filthy hands. My mother watches me, silent in her judgment. Probably ready to tear me a new asshole. Patiently choosing her words carefully for maximum effect. Bring it on, I deserved every bit of it. But first…I lather my hands again…and again…and wash, wash, wash. My motions are frantic and increasingly ****.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice her tense shoulders relax and her arms go down to her sides, still she watches me. I scrub and scrape and claw, lather and wash, wash, wash, wash. Why wouldn’t my hands get clean? And what the fuck was Mom waiting for?

“Well!” I snap after I could bear no more, my hands still scrubbing beneath the flow of water. “Tell me how much I fucked up. Tell me how terrible I am. Tell me how disappointed you are. Stupid, stupid human…stupid normie. Come on! Tell me! I deserve it!”

She steps closer and lays a gentle hand upon my back. I flinch away from it, I would have jumped away if I wasn’t so busy. I just…needed to wash my hands.

“What happened baby?” She asks in a soft voice.

“Nothing. Nothing happened. We found…we found…” My voice trembles. “…we found…her…”

With her other hand she turns off the water. My hands go limp in the sink. She turns me toward her and strokes my cheek with a tender touch. All of her rage from a moment ago gone, replaced by the care and concern only a mother could give. I break. I completely and utterly collapse. Everything I had been holding in all these hours at last burst out.

“Mom.” I moan as I step into her and slump my head into her shoulder and weep like I hadn’t weeped since I was a child. She holds me, one arm around my waist and her other hand holding my head to her shoulder, and lets me cry. No words, only love. Oh how I cry.

“I didn’t…mean…” I blubber when I at last could speak again. “I did it. I…did. I…didn’t want…to kill…her Mom. I didn’t want to kill her! I didn’t know what else to do.”

Mom presses her cheek into me and sways and turns left and right in something between rocking a babe and a slow dance. “It’s okay. Shhhhh. Mom’s got you baby. It’s okay. Shhhhh.” She pets my hair and hugs me close.

“She was so beautiful!” I gasp. “So beautiful. She…she wanted to save me…and I killed her! I killed her! I took her sword and…”

“Shhh. You protected your brother.” She says, seeming to put the pieces together herself. “You did what you thought was right. You protected your family. You are a good man Jacob. You are a good good man.”

“No! Noooo!” I sob. “You don’t understand!”

Holding me up, holding me tight, holding me together, Mom whispers. “I don’t need to.”