Mina meets the visitors

There were two women at the front door. One was a big-breasted brunette who spoke with a Dutch accent. The other was a redhead dressed like a cowgirl.

"Hello," said the brunette. "My name is -- Oh my! I did not mean to catch you so unprepared."

"Unprepared?" asked Mina.

Then Mina remembered the white apron which was the only thing she had on. "Oh, this little thing. Just something I threw on at the maid's insistence. Now who are you again?"

"Er, we could come back later when you're finished dressing," said the brunette. "We did not mean to interrupt your morning bath."

"Oh, you didn't interrupt my morning bath," said Mina.

"Then why -- if you don't mind me asking -- are you so naked?" asked the brunette.

"You know something?" asked Mina. "I was asking myself that same question. I guess it's just one of those big mysteries."

"Why the apron?" asked the redhead. "Are you a maid as well?"

"Heaven forbid," said Mina. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I am definitely not a maid. I'm -- what was I again? -- Oh, yes, I'm a schoolteacher."

"Wow!" exclaimed the redhead. "I've heard rumors about English schools but if this woman here is a typical schoolteacher, then those rumors don't go far enough."

"Oh, be quiet, Yosemite," said the brunette. "Actually my name is Professor Adrienne Van Helsing and this is my assistant Yosemite Tam. We're searching for vampires and we've heard a rumor that one moved into the house next door. Have you seen anything unusual this past week -- apart, of course, from yourself?"

"Vampires?" asked Mina. "I thought they were a myth."

"For the most part, they are but there are some who exist in reality," said Professor Van Helsing.

"Well, I haven't seen any," said Mina. "Though come to think of it..."

"What?" asked Professor Van Helsing.

"There was something on the tip of my tongue but now I forgot," said Mina. "Anyway, how will I know if I see a vampire?"

"Easy," said Professor Van Helsing. "They have big fangs, red eyes and pale faces -- at least if they're European. Plus they tend to suck blood a lot and lure innocent women out into the night where they deprive them of -- ahem -- their clothing."

"Wow!" cried Mina. "That does sound terrible. I sure hope I don't meet anything like that."

"Speaking of meeting anything like that," said Yosemite Tam, "how did you get that mark on your neck?"

"What mark?" asked Mina.

"The one right here," said Yosemite Tam, pointing to a spot on her own neck. "The one that looks like a bite mark."

"Oh, that," said Mina. "I suppose I got that the last time I made out with my girlfr -- er -- boyfriend."

"And how long ago was that?" asked Yosemite Tam.

"I don't remember," said Mina.

"I see," said Yosemite Tam. "In that case, I suppose we'll need to test you."

At that point Yosemite Tam reached into her vest pocket and pulled out a cross.