"You Need A New Escort !"

"I didn't realise how much my supposed relationship with Roddy was shielding me" complained Debbi. She was at home with Harry and Lesley prior to the London premiere of Ape Girl. They were discussing preparations. "Now it's known that I'm available, I keep getting pestered for dates" she explained. "That's one of the things I wanted a word with you about" said Harry.

"What do you mean ?"

"The studio want to know who's going to be your escort for the premiere."

"Oh, yeah. It's a pity Roddy can't do it, we're still mates after all. But he thinks the fuss'll be too great so soon after his coming out. So I just thought Lawrence could do it."

"The photographer guy ?"

"Yeah."

"Not a high enough profile"objected Harry. "In fact no kind of profile at all as far as the public's concerned."

"Well what do you suggest then ?" challenged Debbi. "I'm not having some himbo off a reality show, like that idiot that got me arrested in Abu Dhabi. I've already had a couple of those phone me. And a couple of Roddy's team mates but it's not fair on him if I come with another footballer."

"There's the boy band I represent, Stud Muffin ?" suggested Harry hopefully. Debbi rolled her eyes. "Oh pur-leese ! Can't you find me a bona fide rock star ? Anyway, what was the other thing you wanted ?" Harry looked sheepish. "The studio want you to have a wardrobe malfunction on the red carpet" he mumbled. "What ?" Debbi was now getting irritated. "Isn't there enough of my flesh in the movie for them ? And I gave them all those paparazzi shots in Cannes" she raged on. "That's real Bimbo WAG territory. I thought we were trying to get away from that ?"

"I can leave off the titty tape" offered Lesley. "Your nipples are bound to pop out then."

"Yeah, but they'll keep on popping out all night. I don't want to be forever stuffing them back inside the dress, that won't be very ladylike !"

"Hang on" said Lesley. "I've only got two days and it'll be a rush but I'll do it for my bestie."

"What ?"

"I've got this classy swatch of material, I'll make up a new gown. No plunging neckline, no side splits."

"Then what's the point of that ?" wondered Debbi. And Harry too for that matter.

"Well, it's great material but I won't put in any lining and if the light catches it in a certain way, it's totally transparent ! So you can be comfortable all evening as if you are decently dressed but at the same time be flashing the flesh !"

"Brilliant" said Debbi. "Would that satisfy them ?" she asked Harry. "Er, sounds like it, yes. I'm sure it won't take the paps long to notice" he agreed. "We can get Lawrence to take some photos anyway to make sure" said Debbi, now getting more enthusiastic about the idea. "You can wear some sexy knickers underneath, it won't matter if they show. And you never wear a bra anyway" laughed Lesley. "You're a star" said Debbi !