Interview with a vampire slaye -- er -- hunte -- huntress

Next thing Dr. Jane Watson knew, she was being guided back to the dining car while her new-found rescuer Yosemite Tam was escorting the mysterious lady who had turned into a wolf. Not that Joan worried about that part so much now. Instead she worried more about her corset. It was about the only thing she had left to cover herself and it kept threatening to fall off if she did not hold it tight.

To her relief, the dining car was nearly empty. Just a few people scattered here and there. It would have been nice if her partner Sherlock Holmes was among them but alas, he was not. Probably just as well, Joan thought. She felt embarrassed enough wearing just a corset in front of all these strangers. To wear just a corset in front of someone who actually knew her would have seemed far worse. Especially if that someone was a man.

At the third table, a big-breasted brunette with a Dutch accent was talking to a young -- very young -- blonde girl. The blonde girl kept shaking her head as the older woman asked her questions and then finally left.

At that point, the brunette looked up and saw Yosemite Tam and her two "guests."

"It's about time you got back here," said the dark-haired woman. "We're supposed to be hunting vampires, not werewolves. And I have the feeling that there are some vampires on this very train."

"Don't be ridiculous," said Joan. "Everyone knows there's no such thing as vampires."

"That's exactly what that young girl Claudia said," said the brunette. "Apparently she and her two guardians, Louis and Lestat, have been traveling all over Europe and have yet to see one vampire. Or so she claims."

"You think she's a vampire?" asked the former wolf-lady.

"No," said the brunette. "But I think she knows where some are at on this train."

"Do tell," said a white-haired gentleman in a black leather coat who was sitting at the next table with a raven-haired girl in a red dress. "Where do you think that might be?"

"Hush, luv," said the raven-haired girl. "Everyone knows there ain't no such thing as vampires. Didn't the little Chinese girl just say that?"

"I'm not Chinese!" cried Joan. "I'm English. In fact, I'm as English as the bloody Queen!"

"Bloody, eh?" asked the white-haired gentleman. "There's a dead giveaway right there. Maybe the little foreign girl is a vampire."

"Hey, I'm not foreign," said Joan. "I'm English. And I'm about as much a vampire as you are."

"If you say so," said the white-haired gentleman with a smile on his face.

The girl in the red dress turned toward Yosemite Tam and asked, "Why did your friend talk about werewolves? I've seen no werewolves on this train."

"You haven't?" asked the former wolf-lady. "Well, you missed a doozy just twenty minutes ago. My friend and I were attacked by a gigantic beast that could only have been a werewolf."

"It seems to me that you were the one doing the attacking," said Yosemite Tam.

"Oh, the Chinese girl was not my friend," said the former wolf-lady. "Mina was. And my chasing the Chinese girl was a different matter altogether."

"You can say that again," said Joan. "Wait -- what? Who's Mina?"

"My friend Mina Murray," said the former wolf-lady. "She and I are traveling to Transylvania to visit her friend Jane Harker. Apparently Jane is staying with this eccentric nobleman named Count Dracula."

"Dracula?!" cried the white-haired gentleman and the raven-haired girl.

"It seems I've heard that name before," said the Dutch-accented brunette, "but Tam and I have never had the opportunity to investigate it before now."

"Do you think that this Dracula she mentions -- is one of them?!" asked Yosemite Tam.

"I'd bet my life on it," said the brunette. "Oh, I beg your pardon. I really must introduce myself. My name is Professor Adrienne Van Helsing. I'm a renown expert in vampirology. And this redheaded woman over here is my assistant Yosemite Tam."

"Actually I'm more like a hired gun," said Yosemite Tam with a smirk.

"Anyway, the two of us have been stalking vampires all over Europe, Britain and the two Americas," continued the woman who called herself Van Helsing. "But we have never encountered a vampire as vicious as this Count Dracula is alleged to be."

"Never?" asked the white-haired gentleman.

"Yes, never," said Van Helsing. "And I usually have a sixth sense about these things."

"Have you ever heard of the Whirlwind?" asked the raven-haired girl.

"I'm sorry," said Van Helsing. "I don't spend much time studying the weather. Anyway, it just so happens that we were headed toward Transylvania ourselves."

"So were we," said the raven-haired girl. "Ow!"

She looked at the white-haired gentleman and said, "You kicked me."

"That's what you get for volunteering information to the S-L-A-Y-E-R-S," said the white-haired gentleman.

"Don't be silly, luv," said the raven-haired girl. "These two aren't slayers."

"And why do you say that?" asked the white-haired gentleman.

The raven-haired girl rolled her eyes and said, "Because there's only one, silly."

"Oh, God!" said the white-haired gentleman. "Next thing you know, she's going to mention the bloody Watchers Council."

"Watchers Council?" asked Van Helsing. "That old myth? I would be greatly surprised if your friend really believed that. After all, everyone knows that there is no such thing as a Watchers Council."