DEFT SG

Kaila nodded, a slightly sour look on her face as she went to the door. She made no further comment before grabbing up one of the paper bags that had been stacked neatly near the trash can on her way out. The sound of the door closing softly behind her was noticeable in the current silence of the room.

"Woah... fuck..." I mumbled. I observed the small burning fireplace, taking in a bit of the light glow of the heat as it reflected off my face. "Aaaand now you all know why I don't visit my dad. And am Really glad I didn't have to see him today."

"Sounds like a total asshole." Helen nodded. "Don't try to figure it out now. I'm still reeling a bit on this too. Why didn't you..."

"Twins. At the sayum tahm. They brahbed me and Ah was weak." Charlotte looked embarrassed at the confession. "Ah kept tryin' to get her to fess up, but those two are GOOD when theyuh pretendin' to be each othah. "

"You should see them when they do the parent trap routine." I thought over the moments when the twins had occasionally asked me to guess which one was which. I had thought I had guessed correctly every time, but apparently I had not at least to gather from the last few minutes of conversation.

"Ah did." Charlotte smiled. "Ugh... double dealing, hello? Ah pretty much spelled it out foah yah on the walk, but... you were kinda engrossed in yoah phone. Ah saw the porn pics she sent you when Ah was Cleanin' it..." She suddenly dropped her accent completely as she looked at me sharply. "You do realize those were porn pics and Helen probably didn't say that, right?"

I groaned with the realization that it had indeed probably just been Kaila, sitting on her phone, teasing me while I was out with Charlotte, pushing me towards what had almost happened.

"I realize that... now."

"Yeah, your wife likes control a little too much." Charlotte explained. "In a couple years, she'll be sticking a gimp mask on you if you keep going the way you are. Not good for either one of you."

"Dis guy as a gimp? I can't see it." Nikki looked at me up and down. "Maybe a leather daddy..."

"Leather Chaps and a biker hat? I have the friend at the bar who can totally hook you up if you want." Helen called over. "I think I'd might like to see that some night. I don't have anything in the closet at home that would fit, but we'll make it work."

"Oh my god, it IS Dyke's Eye for the Straight Guy." I protectively clutched my Hawaiian shirt about myself. "Nobody takes my shirt!"

"Relax, that's actually pretty popular at the bar. Some gals like the dad look on their girlfriends." Helen shrugged. "I get it... I mean, gal who takes care of you, loves you, and lets you tell her what to do."

"You're all saying something here." I noted carefully. Even Nikki seemed to have a similar expression on her face.

"Yeah, I think they're trying to say your wife sucks, Brent." Nikki pointed out the extremely obvious with all the subtlety of a roustabout's mallet.

"I... I Love Kaila." I objected and looked out the window to where I saw my wife pulling open the van door in the last wisps of fog.

"And she KNOWS that, Brent." Helen shrugged. "But Kaila... needs to get her head out of her ass. She doesn't do anything for you except when she wants something, I noticed. "

I thought about it. I tried to remember a time that Kaila had ever done something for me without immediately expecting a favor in return afterwords. Even on the trip, I couldn't think of a single time that I hadn't thought of her needs first.

"I didn't think about..."

"Ok, straight up, what's your morning routine? Who cooks? Not on vacation, but every day?" Helen asked me with a strange look.

"Well, I do because my job is pretty easy and the twins would eat take out if I didn't." I winced at the thought of the McDonald's sausage that had been Kaila's standard morning fare prior to my introducing her to the function and purpose of the oven.

"Oh yeah, dis is classic stuff, right out of one abusive house, right into another one." Nikki smirked. "At this rate, I half feel like asking if dey expect you home at a certain time?"

"Got nowhere else to go..." I shrugged. "City sucks, and folks..."

"Stop RIGHT there, Brent." Helen ordered with a sudden direct tone to her voice. "Listen to your words. What you're saying."

"I... Gimme a second here..."

"Ah'm gonna do what you asked... " Charlotte smiled, rising to her feet. "Ah'm sorry for not telling you sooner. And Ah'll show you that ah am."

She crossed the room, and entered the bathroom. There was a short moment of water running before I heard a quiet yelp and a call of "Water's HOT again!"

"So... yeah, you think about it. I think I want to talk with Kaila about some things. I'm not very happy with her right now either." Helen understated the fury I could feel coming off her. Something in her demeanor had changed.