Diagnosis

"I wish this rash would not spread or get worse and go away in a week."

"I need to make sure this rash has not spread. Stand up and spread your arms and legs."

"OK," says Anna Maria. She does as she is told.

You carefully look over her body. "Luckily, it has not spread, but it can."

"I wish Anna Marie believes whatever I say and does whatever I say."

"Anna Marie," this is a very serious rash. It's called Dumassius Bitchius."

"What a weird name."

"Yes, and if it spreads to your scalp, it can cause permanent hair loss."

"Oh my god!"

"But I have something for that." You go to the cabinet. "I wish I had a gallon mixture of shortening, cream corn, cottage cheese, minced garlic, fish oil, and onion powder. I wish I also had adult shower cap." You open the cabinet and see a plastic gallon container. You take it and walk over to Anna Marie. "Thoroughly massage this into your scalp and coat all of your hair. Then put this shower cap on." You get the shower cap. "Leave that mixture there until tomorrow morning. Then put it on every night before bed and leave it in until morning. Do this for a week. I'll come back in ten minutes. I want to run some tests."

"Tests on what?"

"Um, good question. I took some skin scrapings when I examined you."

"Oh, I didn't notice."

You leave.