A Secret Gov Lab

In a secure basement at UCLA, a scientist was working on biological warfare research for the US military. His job was to examine new viruses and germs. He normally worked alone but was given a graduate student assistant provided she did not know he was working for the military and just thought he was doing research for the school, and she was sworn to secrecy.

The scientist, Doug McManus, was a 30 year old single virgin who had a mild porn addiction.

The lab assistant was a 4.0 24 year old Amanda Twining.

Doug worked after hours on a special project. He was developing a **** that would expand the fat cells in a person's breasts, butt, and hips, and was dependent on how must estrogen a person had in their body, so it would effect females. He tested it in lab rats, and it worked, but the side effect was the rats had a sharp decrease in intelligence.

One night, he was working late, and brought in a bottle of vodka. He drank vodka and orange juice until he was drunk then walked back to his off-campus apartment. He left a vial of his new virus out on a lab table.

The next day, Amanda came in and accidentally knocked the vial over.

A hungover Doug came in as he saw Amanda cleaning up the mess. "Oh no!"

"What? What was that?"

"Um, nothing, just a harmless dead-virus," said Doug. "We are taking the day off, but you should stay in your apartment for a couple of days just in case. Don't tell anyone. I'll check on you."

"Are you sure I'm OK?"

"The worst that could happen is you'll have a mild cold, but it can be serious for people with compromised immune systems. But there's a 90% chance nothing will happen."

They went home.

Amanda called Doug the next day. "Dr. McManus, I like...uh...feel strange."

"What's wrong?"

"There's a pain in my butt, boobies, and hips, and I'm like having problem like you know concentrating."

"Don't go anywhere. I'm the lab right now, and can't leave until I have the samples secured.

"Oh, Ok, I'll just like hangout."

Doug was freaking out. "Whatever you do, don't leave your apartment!"

"Um, OK, like sure."

Doug paced around the lab. He did not hear from Amanda for the rest of the day. He knew from his experiments on animals the virus was highly contagious among females. After a sleepless night, he went to her apartment. He knocked on her door.

"Come in!"

He opened the door, and his jaw dropped.

"Oh...my...god!" said Doug.