Pick Nikki (THE END)

Something was wrong. I looked over at the young woman in the Hawk Girl costume, who nodded at me subtly. Everything was in place.

"You know Monty, I really think... you want this apple... so... RUN FOR IT GANG!" I Vaulted over the partition and darted towards the curtain right in front of my face. The curtain opened and I darted into it, rapidly pursued by my entourage, as well as an extremely Irate host and several faceless security guards.

Amazingly the Curtain parted leading to a quick maze of twisting tunnels which seemed to lead... right back out onto the stage. Shit. I decided to try another curtain, and we all scattered, selecting different curtains, doors and exits at random. Monty followed afterwords, and stopped for a moment in the middle of the stage, scratching his head as various contestants began racing in and out of various doors and curtains, before seeming to make up his mind and pick a direction.

I hopped over a prize box, before jumping into a small barrel at the end of the stage, and pulling the wooden top onto it. I peeked out of a small eyehole, noting, an angrily approaching Monty Hall... who now seemed to have dropped the microphone and was merely running around like some kind of... weird.

He looked at the barrel questioningly, before noting a big fire axe sitting nearby on an emergency gear display. Monty smiled evilly, grabbing up the axe and turning to find that I had already begun scurrying away as rapidly as I could, having knocked the bottom of the barrel out with my hands and feet, and was racing away as quickly as I could within the cover.

Monty snarled angrily, and began to run after me, the axe held aloft, and his repeated cries of "I need a decision!" were frankly kinda creepy. I did find that the running was considerably easier once I just went with going on both hands and feet. Hell with it. It was good cover, maybe I'd find another...

The thought was rapidly aborted, and I slid to a halt as the axe quivered in the wall in front of me... SHIT... I backpedaled rapidly, and collided heavily with Monty, who was running in the opposite direction. He flipped over the barrel, down a small staircase, and landing neatly in a prize cart that was sitting at the bottom. The prize cart wheeled forward, hitting a triangular stop which neatly caused the man within to fly through the air, landing in a small curtain that had been torn down from somewhere onstage. The curtain wrapped around him, and several small ropes released, wrapping the bound figure in curtain and hoisting him aloft with the stage rigging.

He hung there for a moment, his feet dangling a few inches above the ground, completely unable to move.

"Well, I guess that wraps it up!" Charlotte quipped, to a general guffaw.

"Yes, but there's just one more thing... let's see who you REALLY are Mister!" Kaila shouted dramatically, pulling the rubber halloween mask from Monty Hall's Face and revealing a guy with pinched features and wire frame glasses that he'd somehow been wearing this whole time under the mask.

"Why it's Young Man Withers, who rented us the Cabin!" We all exclaimed in unison.

"Exactly!" Helen Exclaimed, taking the apple from Nikki's Hand and cracking it open. A handful of diamonds spilled forth from the now obviously plastic item. "Or Rather, Jacob "The Barber" Withers, world famous Jewel Smuggler! It's all so Simple..."

"You see..." Helen continued, her hands coming behind her back as she walked back and forth across the stage, patiently explaining, "The Barber had to disguise his latest shipment coming in by randomly giving it as a prize, then having the prize winner give it away on an episode of Let's Make a Deal. That way the police would have no idea of how the diamonds had gotten into the country. However, he didn't plan on having somebody like our Brent, who really likes apples."

I smiled and poked my head out or the top of the barrel sheepishly.

"But, like, what about the whole thing with the Judgement of Paris rip off?" Carla objected.

"He did all that just to throw us off the scent. Normally anybody will eagerly trade an apple for sex, and if it hadn't been for the quick thinking of Joan over there, Brent would have fallen for it, just like any one else." Helen smiled happily. "All the magic was simply Special Effects, because the Barber has lots of contacts in the film industry. He's got a million faces, and tried to get Charlotte to blow him at one point."

"Ewww... that was HIM?" Charlotte screwed up her face horridly.

"Indeed," Helen nodded confidently.

"And I would have gotten away with it too! If it hadn't been for you dumb broads and your DOG!" The barber snarled, as two Friendly police officers dressed in blue helpfully escorted him away.

Nikki walked over to me and patted my head happily, scratching behind one of my ears.

"That's a good boy," She giggled. "Sorry, should have warned you. Every guy that ever even thought about being with me... well, at least we can change you back later... or not..."

"Ruh-Roh..." I mumbled.

Credit Music