You try to correct EDNA

You blinked hearing EDNA's conclusion. Screwing up your face, you asked, "What? EDNA, that makes no sense. Why would I do that?"

If it was possible, EDNA's voice pattern sounded a touch condescending to you. "You are his girlfriend. He is your boyfriend. You will consummate that relationship eventually. Expediting that event will hasten your removal from employment, providing you the quickest route to what you desire, Jane."

"Now hang on, EDNA, " you started to say. EDNA then spoke up again.

"Of course, the termination of your employment would allow you to openly engage in a sexual relationship with your boyfriend."

'You threw your hands up in the air as best you could on the crutches. "EDNA, Raymond is NOT my BOYFRIEND," you stated, emphasizing the words so that she'd finally get it.

"Checking...." and the house went silent.

"Understood, Jane. You are not in a relationship with Raymond Teller."

The camera-like thing suddenly zoomed over and snapped several pictures of you from different angles.

"EDNA," you asked warily. "What are you doing?"

"Processing...." said the voice. And then shortly. "Since you no longer have a boyfriend, Jane, I have allowed you more free time and taken it upon myself to post several profiles on the most popular dating profiles to find you a new boyfriend."

"Wait! What?" you asked. "EDNA!"

"And the shortest route of termination from employment remains having intercourse with Raymond Teller."

The dreaded "ping" came from your phone. "Raymond will be here in 90 minutes. Preparations for intercourse should begin." And the arms stared helping you towards the bathroom. Between the heels, the bum ankle, and the number of arms, it was impossible to resist.

And as if to rub salt in an open wound, as you were being hustled towards the bathroom, EDNA said, rather chipperly, "You are quite popular, Jane. I have taken the liberty of responding to the attractive men who are interested in you. You already have several dates this week." And the phone started to ping repeatedly.