With a crowd, Raymond would be neutralized

You sigh, no matter what it seemed everybody would be hassling you today. Why was everyone so determined to bother someone who didn't even exist two days ago?

The laptop finishes logging in and your work email pops up along with various office programs in an OS you don't quite recognise.

Cathy's offer lingers in your mind. You didn't want them around all day, who knows what other plans they would arrange, but when Ray came... "Look for now I just want to focus on this alone but later..." you take a breath, "well it's probably best you drop later by... just to wrap things up..." you finish weakly.

Wendy seems to get your message "We'll probably get back here just before Raymond arrives, make sure everything is sorted."

You exhale, "Thanks!"

"Actually," Lisa pipes up, "I can stay now but I've got to pick up my son this evening...." It's quickly agreed that Cathy will drop back later but you'll probably be in the office before you see Lisa again. You have a bit more conversation that largely repeats what you've already said.

"Just send us a message if you need anything!" are Cathy's words as the pair wave to you from the living room door, and leave the house.

You put your head back and exhale.

Alone.... for maybe a few hours and then your new workmate or boss will knock on the door and goodness knows what happens after. You could take this opportunity to finally tackle everything but looking down your body (over your breasts and neat cleavage your clothes makes), your bandaged ankle still sits on the stack of pillows.

So what are you meant to do? The work for the job you never asked for? Why would you even... a thought occurs to you. If you simply don't do the work, then what would happen? They'd get angry... they'd get frustrated with you... and then they'd have to fire you!

The thought strikes you with surprising ****. Was it really that simple? Do a terrible job and get fired? You felt bad for the people who might get caught in your wake but... it was possible wasn't it? It was a way out of all this.

In curiosity you look up at the laptop and quickly looked through your email and leaf through the open folder. Wendy has thoughtfully given you some clear instructions on what you were meant to do.

The job seemed simple: some documents were digitised, others were still in paper format, you had to go through digital company records (which you'd been given surprisingly broad access to) and make sure the stack of paper records aligned with them in terms of invoice's matching and having been confirmed as paid. However, the job was... well... unexciting! And not particularly gripping for someone who didn't want the job in the first place.

You lay back on the couch.

Watching TV, getting breakfast, even undressing... that's what you wanted to do.

Actually.... "EDNA, get me breakfast."

"Acknowledged," and you soon had a breakfast of fresh fruits, melon, organic yoghurt, orange juice, and some wheaty cereal. Sitting up, you ate it there in the living room. Once or twice some bit of food would slip onto your blouse or clothing, and an appendage would come out and quickly wipe it off without delay. It was vaguely disconcerting, but you let it happen.

Afterwards... why not? You watched TV. Something brainless that actually made you feel better about everything and took your mind off the fact you were dressed like a secretary who had breasts, nice legs, and no visible manhood.

Around lunchtime, you needed to head to the bathroom, you crutched forward (had your ankle improved?) and just as you were sitting down on the toilet (because how else could you do it now?) your phone and laptop pinged for another received work email which you'd been ignoring all morning.

"Jane: Reminder: Invoice correlation to be done for Earnest Lumber. Deadline: This evening."

Seriously? When you were on the toilet?

"I'm busy right now EDNA!"

"Would you like assistance with the task?"

"I don't want to do the task at all! Remember that!" you respond. Thankfully it seems to shut EDNA up and you continue your business.

You stay in the bathroom a bit longer hoping that EDNA would take this as a message not to bother you, and when you finally come out.

You gasp.

The robotic limbs are shuffling the paperwork, something that looks like a camera is being held over them for a moment, before the limbs move the paper and show the next bit of paper under it. Somehow the laptop is also acting possessed. Windows popping up, text being typed as if by invisible hands (you don't notice a dongle now attached to it), and all the while the phone next to it glows and occasionally pings.

In swooping steps you make your way up to the couch and living room table. You catch line of texts being typed "Invoice C148E917 - Not paid; Invoice E143D917 - Billed twice...."

"EDNA?" You're at a loss.

"Yes Jane?"

"What are you doing?"

"The task you were assigned with was a standard comparison of disparate documents. It is within my capability to perform. I was able to look up previous examples of such jobs to understand how such a task is performed." You're stunned for a second.

"Wait, I mean...." you see the arms whiz back and forth in front of you. "I don't want the job, I want to get fired!"

"Searching for ways to get fired... Top result for getting fired quickly and legally: Inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker. Understood: Jane wishes to initiate sex with Raymond Teller."

Your mouth drops open.