charity

“Well, ma’am, I hate to say it but I’m a bit down on my luck,” Norm said. “If you could just spare a little change I’d be ever so grateful.”

He hoped she wasn’t the type who tried to buy him food instead of giving him cash. The bone throbbed and Norm was delighted to see the woman open her Prada handbag. Her husband grabbed her arm but she shook him off and pulled out her coin purse and emptied the whole thing out into Norm’s extended hand. It had to be nearly three dollars.

“Is that enough?” she asked.

“Oh, that’s very generous, Ma’am,” he said, at the same time thinking ‘give me bills, you gullible bimbo! Give me all your cash! I need booze!’

The bone throbbed. The brunette shivered, then giggled.

“I’ve got twenties!” she exclaimed. “And a fifty! You can totally have them! You need them lots more than me!”

She pulled out a wad of cash and showered them on him. Her husband blanched.

“Brenda!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing!”

“Don’t be a meany, Roger!” she said. “He needs money to buy booze! You have money too! You should totally give it to him!”

“No!” the man exclaimed, growing furious. “This is crazy! What has gotten into you? You’re a republican, for god’s sake!”

“Come on now, Roger!” Norm said, with dawning hope as he fondled the little bone in one hand and grabbed up Brenda’s offering with the other. “Don’t be so uncharitable. It feels good to give, doesn’t it Brenda?”

The bone throbbed. Brenda closed her eyes and quivered, humming her agreement. Roger grinned like an idiot and pulled out his wallet. Soon Norm had all of the couple’s cash and was wearing Roger’s Rolex. He considered asking for their wedding rings, but that seemed a bit greedy. After all, Brenda and Roger were his new best friends! He told them as much, the bone throbbed and the rich couple agreed.

“Well, friends, let’s go get a drink to celebrate our new friendship!” Norm said, getting unsteadily to his feet until Brenda and Roger helped him up, each taking an arm. “You don’t mind the smell, do you?”

“Not at all!” Brenda announced, then giggled.

“Maybe later we can go to your place and you can give me a bath!” Norm announced. “That’s all right with you, right Roger?”

“Of course!” Roger said. “I’m a generous guy!”

Brenda giggled and announced she was feeling generous as well.

“Cool!” Norm said. “But first thing’s first! We need booze and there’s a liquor store not two blocks from here! I’m buying!”

“Don’t be silly, my friend!” Roger said as Norm wished and the bone throbbed. “We can put it on my credit card! You need our cash.”

“Well, if that’s the way you want it,” Norm grinned.

And wishing for her to like the idea, he slid his hand down to Brenda’s round, firm ass. She giggled and squirmed in his palm.

Soon they were well stocked with whiskey, rum, vodka, and a couple of foreign-sounding things Norm hadn’t even heard of but Roger assured him he would love. Roger carried the bags, Brenda carried the bottle of 40 year old Scotch Norm had suggested they open as soon as they got out of the store, and Norm carried the magical bone that he was now quite certain could let him do almost anything. They walked back to Brenda and Roger’s car, stopping frequently to take snootfuls of the whisky straight from the bottle. Norm never bothered to ask what the couple were doing in such a poor part of town. He figured they were simply meant for him, just like the wishbone.

Brenda could not hold her liquor. By the time they got to the Lincoln town car she was stumbling, giggling and slurring even though she had only had one swallow for every three of Norm’s. Roger kept sober, since he was driving. With just a thought and a throb, Roger suggested that Brenda join Norm in the back to keep him company. Brenda giggled and climbed on in to the back with Norm and the liquor.

“Where to, boss?” Roger asked as suddenly he decided he was their chauffeur at a wish from Norm.