Wake up

I am able to pen my eyes now as I think about what just happened. I think about the horror of it. I could end up like that. Was it worse than my abusive step parents and school?

This has to be a dream but I know it is not. The real thing that scares me is that I am actually thinking about allowing it to happen. To become this abomination.

I am growing wet thinking about being nothing more than a sex toy for these things. However I shouldn’t I can’t. In a moment I remember Amanda. My better half. Should I fight this for her the only good thing in my life even though I screwed it up.

I stand up and I see the path before me and the path behind or should I just stay there and let this come to me.