The Suite Life of John and Stacy, Only on Disney Channel

As Stacy Mandel arrived in the lobby of a famous high-society hotel, the clerk behind the counter gave a delighted gasp as she recognized the good doctor.

"Ah! Dr. Mandel! I received your call!" The clerk lady cheerfully clapped her hands in excitement, "I've informed our staff and got our Lord's penthouse suite already prepared for him! It's been months since he last checked in, so it's always a delight to have him back!"

"I appreciate the quick response." Stacy politely smiled back at the clerk's enthusiasm but dropped her tone to a whisper, "However, there is something I would like to discuss first before I get Lord John to check-in to his room. It's a matter of dire importance."

The clerk-lady seems to be caught off guard by the seriousness in the doctor's words, but did her best to be diligent anyway. "O-Of course. What might be the matter?"

Leaning in closer, Stacy explained to the clerk, "Before Lord John appears, I desperately need all staff members to not refer to him by his lordship status. In fact, when he arrives, no one must refer to the penthouse suite as being personally owned by him."

"I-I see..." The clerk-lady frowned with visible confusion, "Can I ask why this is necessary?"

Stacy sighed, before explaining, "Our Lord has suffered a serious accident a few days ago, and as a result, he's currently under a state of amnesia."

"An accident? Amnesia?!" The clerk-lady covered her mouth in shock, and panic settled in her eyes, "Is Lord John alright?! He's not going to die, is he?!"

"No no, nothing of the sort. Other than the amnesia, he's just fine." Stacy reassured. "But it's important if we can keep this a secret, please."

"Right... I'm sorry." The clerk-lady took a deep breath and sighed, "You must understand, if it wasn't for him, I would have never come to this country. He means the world to me."

"He means the world to us all." Stacy concurred, "Which is why it's imperative that we prepare the staff to not mention a single word of his status to him."

"I don't quite understand why we have to hide away his status from him, but I assume it's to protect him somehow as you begin to cure him?"

Stacy nodded, "Correct. He lost quite a chunk of his memory, so he doesn't really understand the value of his own life. We're just taking preventive measures to avoid having him go into shock."

"I see. Very well, give me a moment to notify everyone. I'll be sure to be discreet about his condition and come up with an excuse as to why we have to avoid referring to his lordship as his lordship."

Stacy gave a grateful smile, "Thank you."

So here I was, left behind with the bodyguards that are sitting right next to me. Bodyguards that I haven't seen the face of since this entire ride over here. Bodyguards of Stacy Mandel, who are probably trained to kick the ass of anyone who even remotely looked at her wrong.

Bodyguards that I may or may not have gotten to know over the past four years while being friends with Stacy.

...

Hoo boy, this is gonna be awkward. Especially with the blindfold on.

"So guys," I snapped my fingers and cracked a joke to break the ice, "How many times have you two beaten my ass over the years while I was trying to get closer to Miss Stacy, the Wonder-Doctor?"

"...uh..." I could hear Parkins mumble confusedly, "None?"

"Oh. Well, that's good then." I blinked.

"Why would you think we would harm you?" Donovan asked.

"Uh... I dunno." I awkwardly shrugged, "I kind of just... assumed. Like, maybe I've bothered Stacy a couple of times while she was working and I couldn't take a hint, so you guys had to teach me a lesson to not hinder her research or something- I don't fucking know..."

"I don't think Dr. Mandel would ever appreciate us if we did something like that," Parkins commented. "I don't remember once being ordered by her to kick you out if you ever bothered her too much."

"Oh. Well, that's great to hear then." I chuckled nervously, "At least that means I'm not the annoying neighbor type of friend."

Another awkward silence passed us by, one of many ever since Stacy left us alone.

I don't know what was taking her so long, but I don't think I can handle another moment of awkward tension. The social anxiety is gonna kill me at any moment.

"So... uuhh... Nice weather we're having, aren't we?" I started off with casual small-talk.

"We've actually been suffering major natural disasters in the past few months," Donovan explained.

"Wait, really?" I asked worriedly.

"No. Not really."

...

...

...

"Pffeh, Jesus Christ, don't scare me like that." I started to chuckle.

It was actually almost a relief to hear the two bodyguards laugh alongside me.

Heh, nice to know that they at least have a sense of humor. That definitely eased the tension away.

It took a while, but Stacy finally came back to the car and announced, "Okay John, we're ready to get checked in."

I gave a sigh of relief, "Awesome! I can't wait to see what the place is like! Kind of excited to be in a penthouse for the first time. Well- I mean- Not the first time, since I know I've been here before already, but- like- you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do." Stacy giggled, before opening the doors and leading me inside. I could hear footsteps following behind us, which meant our two bodyguards were coming with us.

I wonder once I get in there, will I find the place any familiar. If I've been here as much as Miss Stacy claimed, then there had to be some nostalgic memories of the place hidden away somewhere, right?

Once I finally stepped inside the floors of the hotel, Miss Stacy finally gave me permission to pull my blindfolds off. "Go ahead, it should be safe for now."

I untied the damn things, glad to be free from having to walk around blind. But then, I took a step back in awe as I saw the lobby room of the hotel.

It was GOD DAAYUM fancy, let me tell you that. The decor of the place practically screamed 'high-society' into your face. Red carpets and curtains adorned the floors and walls, with golden decors complimenting the scenery. A crystal chandelier shined brightly high above us with its remarkable beauty, and for all I knew, was probably made with actual damn authentic crystals.

"Holy shit, this place is baller." I remarked, slowly spinning around to take in the scenery. "This is where you live, Miss Stacy?"

"Well, not 'live' persay. I mostly come here during my vacation days. But basically, yeah, this is like a second home." Stacy told me.

She gestured something to our bodyguards, and they immediately went to guide me to the elevator, "Come along, Sir. Let's get you to Dr. Mandel's room."

Now that I don't have my blindfold on anymore, this was really the first time I got a good look at our bodyguards.

Donovan was a blonde guy with a muscley-build. Makes sense, considering his occupation. The guy was impressively shaped like a Greek god though. He had those stereotypical bodyguard sunglasses on to look intimidating, and he really sold the look.

Meanwhile, Parkins was actually a roundly built redhead and was about my height. Something I noticed was that she was the first girl I've seen since I woke up that didn't have a pornstar cup-size for her boobs. That's not to say that her rack isn't impressive, but compared to all the nurses in the hospital earlier, she was pretty much the only girl I've seen so far with a relatively normal body. She's kind of cute too if I'm being honest.

Guess it really was coincidence that all the hospital staff members seemed to busty then. It's not a universal thing where every girl in the future had a sexy body.

Anyway, I've been sidetracked long enough. Back to the hotel.

With all the decor being so polished and brightly colored, it was pretty much drowning me with this feeling of anxiety. I've never been to a place like this before, and it makes me wonder if I was never supposed to be. I'm not rich or cultured or anything, so do I have any right to be here?

"Man, I am so out of my element. It almost feels like I shouldn't even be allowed anywhere near someplace this fancy." I scratched my head nervously, "I'm not gonna get odd looks for being out of place, am I? What if one of the employees here assumes I'm a delinquent who snuck in here and decide to kick me out?"

"Nobody is going to kick you out. Don't be so paranoid!" Stacy assured me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, "As I said, you've been here many times already. Plus, you're with me, so nobody is going to make a dumb mistake like that."

"I guess I have to take your word for it..." I muttered, feeling just a tiny bit unconvinced.

"It'll be fine!" Stacy told me once again, before pointing to a woman near the elevator, "Look, there's the hotel clerk."

The clerk lady gave a cheerful smile and took a deep bow, "Welcome back, dear patrons! I hope you enjoy your stay at Hotel Picasso!" Her clothing shined a radiance of professionalism, with a brightly colored golden tie alongside a red business vest. She was so cleanly cut, just looking at her almost made my eyes get blinded. Worst part of all, she completely destroyed my new theory of not everyone being a pornstar in this future, as she had the reminiscent body figure comparable to Kate Upton posing for a fashion magazine. It definitely did not help that her clothes seemed to be tight enough to show off just enough curves on her body to make even a prepubescent boy freak out.

"Ah god, even the employees here are fancy and polite." I nervously rubbed my face, wondering how to respond.

Wait, what's the proper etiquette to greeting hotel staff employees? If they bow, are you suppose to bow back?

"Uh..." With a very stilted tone, I bowed back at her and said, "Thank you for having me, I deeply appreciate the hospitality."

The lady seemed a bit shocked when I returned her gesture, and she waved her hands up in a panic, "Oh, please sir! That isn't necessary, you don't have to bow back!"

"I don't?!" I stood up straight, feeling extremely embarrassed, "I'm sorry! I've never done this before! I didn't mean to offend!"

"No, sir! You didn't offend me at all, I'm terribly sorry for making you think so!" The lady apologized with a horrified expression.

"No, it's not your fault!" I tried to reassure her with an equally horrified look, "Sorry, I'm just really confused about what the proper etiquette is to respond to fancy hotel staff!"

Before I can say anything further to make the situation escalate, Stacy put a hand over my mouth and pulled my attention back towards her. "John, just relax. We're guests here. Stop freaking out over the tiniest detail and just go with the flow."

I looked back between her and the hotel staff lady, who was vigorously nodding her head in agreement with what Stacy said.

Okay... Take a deep breath, stop freaking out and embarrassing yourself.

"R-Right. Sorry. I'll do my best not to overreact again." I promised her.

"Good. Now let's get on the elevator so we can settle you in with my penthouse. The sooner, the better." Stacy told me, sounding just a little bit impatient with me.

"Alright." I nodded. Turning back to the hotel lady, I took my hand out for her to shake, "Thank you again for having me."

The lady looked visibly confused when she saw my hand extended, almost as if it was an alien gesture. But with an extremely pleased smile, she shook my hand and enthusiastically said, "It's an absolute pleasure to have you back, Lord John."

For some reason, the tension in the room rose again, and everyone seemingly froze in place after she finished saying that. The tension in the air was thick enough that you could throw a knife at it and it would bounce back.

It took me a moment to register what she said. She... called me Lord John, right?

I swear, I'm pretty sure Miss Stacy has called me that a few times, hasn't she? Or was that in my imagination back when I just started coming to after the accident? Didn't someone else also call me that at some point?

Why do I feel such a heavy association with the word?

I looked towards Stacy with a confused look, "...Lord?"

"T-That's what they call all the patrons here! You know, 'Lords' and 'Miladys' and things like that. It's part of the charm of staying at a highly prestigious hotel like this, you know?" Stacy explained, although her tone seemed kind of frantic.

I had to pause to really register the idea, before nodding, "That makes sense." Turning back to the hotel lady, I told her, "It feels kind of weird to be called a Lord though, so you can just call me John Doe if you want."

"R-R-Right. Absolutely, John. I'll be sure to make a note of that next time." Her speech was tilted and her grip seemed shaky for some reason.

"Come on, let's go already John." Stacy hurriedly pushed me along towards the elevator, and all I could do was follow her lead.

The four of us got in and Stacy quickly pressed the top floor button, before the elevators closed and took us to our destination.

Meanwhile, after we had left, the clerk lady began hyperventilating like crazy and almost nearly fainted, "That was so close! How could I be so stupid!?"

Making her way to the front desk, she dialed a number and waited to get picked up.

On the other side of the phone, she heard a friendly, "Hello?"

"This is Front Desk. Send in the second shift, I'm going to take an early break today."

"Oh no, what happened? You sound so ragged." The other voice asked worriedly.

"I don't want to talk about it." The clerk lady responded with finality, before hanging up the phone.