The witch, the vamp, and the slayer

"What did you want me to do again, Clara?" asked Buffy.

"Kill the vampire," said future Clara. "That's what you do, isn't it? Kill vampires? Well, there's one right there." Present Clara pointed to Drusilla. "So kill her!"

"Hey, if you're that eager to see her dead, why don't you kill her?" asked Buffy as she handed present Clara a stake.

"Me?" asked future Clara. "I don't get it. You guys have a history. She's tried to kill you and you've tried to kill her. Not to mention the fact that she's the one responsible for sending us all to Skaro."

"Oh, was that an actual place?" asked Drusilla. "I was beginning to think that Rose made it all up."

"Wait!" cried future Clara. "You sent us all to that hellhole because Rose told you about it?"

"Well, in all fairness, I only meant to send you and the Two-Hearted Witch there," said Drusilla. "And even then, it was only meant to delay you two. I knew the Two-Hearted Witch couldn't be killed so my best hope was to deter her. I suppose I could have instead sent you both to this thing that Rose called a black hole but for some reason, that did not seem very fair."

"Er, Empr -- er -- Boss, not helping," said Marcie.

"The Two-Hearted Witch?" asked Buffy. "Who's the Two-Hearted Witch?"

"She means me, of course," said Missy. "And as fascinating as this conversation apparently isn't, I really would like to question Drusilla a bit more before you dust her, Slayer."

"She might as well slay me now," said Drusilla. "Because I'm not telling you a thing."

"Not even if I threaten to **** your minion 'Cordelia'?" asked Missy.

"You wouldn't dare," said Drusilla. "Even if you somehow got by me, you know full well that Cordelia would probably bite down on a cyanide pill rather than let herself get tortured by you."

"Er, Boss, I appreciate the vote of confidence, but still --" Marcie started to say.

"In that case, I'll take aim at your true weakness," said Missy. "Your younger self. I have within my power to bring every vampire in creation to this time and place. Surely one of them will succeed in turning Drusilla the Younger and no matter how many bodyguards you employ, one of them will succeed in killing the rest of your family as well. In short, your family's survival depends on you deciding to tell me what you know about the Magic Typewriter. So to whom did you have your minion give it and where is that person located?"

"I had her give it to Pennywise the Clown and he dwells in a little Maine town called Derry," said Drusilla. "Please feel free to take it back from him. Or her. Or whatever It is this week."

"You lie," said Missy. "To whom did you really give it?"

"Randall Flagg," said Drusilla. "He's a nice guy who lives in the future. You'd probably like him."

"No, to whom did you really give it?" asked Missy. "And if you keep giving me silly answers, I'm going to shoot your minion 'Cordelia' in the chest."

"Okay, I gave it to Alice," said Drusilla. "The same Alice who was in Alice of Wonderland. You see, she was the original owner, not Cla -- Hey!"

And just like that, Missy shot a crossbow bolt right at Marcie's chest, only to be puzzled when said bolt was intercepted by the Slayer.

"I think we need to have our own little chat, Missy," said Buffy as she threw down the crossbow bolt. "Preferably now."