chimichanga!

Meanwhile back at the Xavier Institute…

The pack of giant blue monsters collided into the energy barrier without pause, having been at it for hours, but instead of getting tired, they only worked harder. The Blue Wasp fired bolts and bolts of stinging energy, while Storm conjured lightning from her clawed fingers. Cyclops roared as his eyes fired optic blasts for minutes without blinking his eyes. The rest spent the rest of their raw strength battering the energy barrier. Flickering, shuddering and blinking on and off, the barrier could hold back no more and finally burned out.

Stepping out of the scorched line where the energy wall stood, the hulking blue furred monsters looked around and grinned, they were free. The programming running through their heads blared and demanded they attack in the name of their master Doctor Doom; To attack and destroy everything they came across and spread the plague further, to overrun the nation until nothing was left. Breathing in the fresh air, the monsters growled and roared.

“FREE! FREE TO CONQUER FOR DOOM!”

“Awww… Fuck!” Stunned stiff while mowing the lawn, Shadowcat looked up to the horde of blue monsters that all brought their attention straight to her when she turned off the lawnmower’s motor. Narrowing his glowing red eyes, Cyclops licked his lips.

*

The Latverian embassy was in ruins, a smoldering heap where dozens of staff, pedestrians and firemen waited outside the perimeter to see how the fight would end. As the crowd built up, one of the pedestrians looked to the crowd of police and firemen just standing there, watching as the explosions kept going and sprayed dust and stone chips everywhere. “Aren’t you going to go in there and do something?!” Cried out one of the onlookers as another explosion rocked the property, sending another chunk of the building to collapse to the ground. “No can do! Victor Von Doom has made it clear multiple times that if anyone steps into the embassy without permission, he’d declare war on their country.”

“How does that even make sense? How does he even order FOOD if no one is allowed to take a step at the front door?”

“Amazon.”

Obscured by the smoke and debris, at the heart of the destroyed embassy, the fight had become ugly. Lucia Von Bardas was ****; her head stuck in the remains of a toilet bowl while her little blue teddy bear was shoved down her pants and up places not meant for words. In what used to be the throne room, surrounded in destroyed Doombots, weapons and the private collection of personal portraits were Deadpool and Doctor Doom trapped in a stalemate. Deadpool had Victor Von Doom in an arm lock that prevented either of them from attacking each other, all while the iron clad dictator had them both contained in his personal **** field.

“You have committed every conceivable crime against my rule Deadpool, I am grateful you cannot die for you have the luxury of knowing every **** penalty my nation has to offer once you relent.”

“Oh yeah? Sticks and stone may break my bones, but I can kick you repeatedly in the balls!” ‘Clank!’ “Damn! Forgot you wear a cup these days.”

“Surrender Deadpool, you can’t win this, soon my army of blue furred monsters will ravage this country.” Kneeing Wade in the balls with his iron clad shin, a loud crunch could be heard that made the crowd outside wince. “Nothing you do here can stop that.”

“Oh Yeah? Challenge accepted!”

Tumbling in the energy bubble like a hamster in a plastic ball, Wade managed to get the upper hand and have Von Doom on his back, the two still grappling with one another. Then, out of the blue… Wade took off his mask.

“GOOD LORD MAN!” Reviled Victor, turning away from the festering, blistered face of Wade Wilson smiling back at him with a crooked grin. “I’m a Doctor, but even I think you need a mortician.”

“HEY! I might not be a looker but the voices in my head tell me I’m quite the catch!” Managing to free one of his hands in the grapple, Wade stuck out one of his fingers… And began poking at his left eyeball, nudging it in his eye socket.”

“AAAAAARGH…. The Gypsy children used to do that when I was a child!” Grimacing and trying to turn his head away, Doom could not avoid seeing Wade poking his own eyeball while sticking his own tongue out for good measure. “You monster! You disgusting freak! FINE! I relent!” Turning off the energy bubble and collapsing onto the ground, Deadpool landed on his feet triumphant.

“Alright Doom, drop the whammy you put on the X-Men and I’ll leave.”

Brushing himself off and glaring back at the mercenary putting his mask back on, Doom slowly reached for his gauntlet and pressed a single button at his cuff. “There, it is done, now GET THE HELL OUT OF MY EMBASSY!”

*

“WAIT! You don’t want to eat me, I’m just skin and bones…” Panicked Kitty, held up in Scott’s clutches while her legs dangled in the air. The rest of the horde of monsters watched on chuckling at the prone teenager. They had all degenerated into massive, mindless monsters. Each of them a savage parody of their former self willing to cause chaos and ruin. Their programming demanded it. Now with their first victim in their grasp, they almost didn’t know where to start.

“PUNY HUMAN GET IN WAY!” Growled She-Hulk, licking her fanged lips leering up and down the diminutive teenager. “PUNY HUMAN SHOULD BE PUNISHED.”

“NO! MAKE HER LIKE US!” Purred the Blue Queen, scratching an itch between her massive breasts. “MAKE HER LIKE US! ADD TO PACK!”

“NO! ME CYCLOPS HUNGRY, CYCLOPS BITE OFF PUNY HUMAN’S HEAD…” Stopping in mid speech, Scott blinked and looked around, the rest of the group suddenly standing straight and looking around confused, scratching their heads or looking down at themselves in tired surprised. “Where the hell are we?”

“HEY! I can think straight again… Holy crap, I let myself go.” Complained Tony, grabbing handfuls of his waist.

“I guess whatever happened finally wore off. “Looking around and finally down at Kitty Pride in his hands, Scott smiled sheepishly. “Oh, hey Kitty… Did we do anything… Uhm… Regrettable?”

“Uhm…” Following her gaze behind them all, the Beasts looked back at the demolished dorm and back to where she was still being held up like a subway sandwich, by a 10-foot-tall beast with a 20 inch hard on.

“Well… THIS is awkward…”