Marriage and

You recline in your airplane seat, ignoring the objections of the man behind you. In two days you’ll Mrs. Kimberly Denner. You say it a few times.

You don’t really like it. Of course in a couple of weeks you’ll be able to go back to Kimberly Harris.

You look over at Andy. “Dear, can I borrow your phone? My battery seems to be running low.”

He hands you his phone. You begin playing with it. When he is suitably ignoring you, you text Tiffany.

You hand him his phone back and recline you’re seat.

Two days later you are on a lovely private beach.

The justice of the peace speaks to you. “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

And just like that, you’re rich.

“You May kiss the bride.”

Andy turns and you give him the perfect, happy, selfie kiss.

You spend the night and the next four days faking orgasms.

You recline in your airplane seat on the return trip, once again ignoring the sap behind you. You close your eyes. You have so much to plan.