Missy and future Clara visit the American South

Present Clara turned toward present Rose and asked, "Since when did you get so chummy with the lady in red?"

"That's not me, Clara," said present Rose. "That's future me. And anyway, when I was turned into a sub, I was automatically reprogrammed to obey the strongest voice in the room. In this case, it must be your mysterious lady in red."

"Oh, yeah," said present Clara. "Well, as of now I automatically deprogram you. From now you're your own person and you don't have to obey anyone."

"Whatever you say, Clara," said present Rose.

"I mean it," said present Clara.

"Sure thing, Clara," said present Rose.

"From now on, you don't have to follow any orders," said present Clara. "Even mine."

"Your wish is my command, Clara," said present Rose. "Now is there anything else I can do for you, Mistress?"

"You can -- Oh, forget it," said present Clara.

Then present Clara turned toward the stoic spirit that was the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come and said, "Show me what comes next."

The scene before them blurred and then suddenly turned into what looked like an old-fashioned ball set in the American South.

An odd-shaped box that looked like Missy's TARDIS appeared and then Missy and a naked future Clara emerged.

"Geez, Missy," said future Clara, "you couldn't spare the time to find me a little bit of clothing?"

"Sorry, Clara," said Missy. "But we're on a mission and we don't have time to waste on any trivial activities."

"Yet you just spent fifteen minutes fussing over your makeup in the TARDIS," said future Clara.

"Well, a Timelady's always got to look her best," said Missy. "Otherwise, people will talk."

"What about me?" asked future Clara.

"Well, you're not a Timelady so you don't have to worry about stuff like that," said Missy.

"The hell I don't!" cried future Clara.

"Language, Clara," said Missy. "If you keep acting up, then I won't be giving you any jelly babies."

"I can't be bribed by a -- Hey, you have jelly babies?" asked future Clara.

"Of course I do," said Missy. "Now be a good girl and obey your Mistress."

"Er, why exactly are we here?" asked future Clara. "I don't know any of these people."

"Do you know her?" asked Missy, pointing to a woman with ash-blonde hair who wore a red ballgown.

"Of course I do," said future Clara. "That's Bette Davis. What are we doing inside a Bette Davis movie?"

"I was hoping that would be your mysterious lady in red," said Missy.

"Well, it isn't," said future Clara. "And by the way, what made you think that it would be her? Do you seriously believe that I would not have recognized Bette Davis if I saw her anywhere but here?"

"Well, you didn't recognize that John Dillinger chap who was with that other lady in red," said Missy.

"That was John Dillinger?" asked future Clara. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I figured you were smart enough to recognize him on your own," said Missy. "After all, you did say you used to be a schoolteacher -- though the more time I spend with you, the more I begin to wonder..."

"Well, it isn't her so why don't we just leave?" asked future Clara.

"Hold on a minute!" cried a voice from behind them.

Missy and future Clara turned and saw a tall white gentleman with a white beard and mustache step out of the crowd. The man wore a white suit and hat and he just stared shamelessly at the two of them until finally he said, "What are you two doing here?"

"I beg your pardon," said Missy. "But are we supposed to know you?"

"You don't have to know me," said the bearded man. "You two are obviously strangers to these here parts. Otherwise you would not be foolish enough to come into this place with your little tribade dressed like that. For God's sake, woman, what were you thinking?"

"Right now I'm thinking that it's none of your business where I go or how my companions are dressed," said Missy.

"Your companion?" asked the bearded gentleman.

"Sorry," said Missy. "I forget the times. I should probably use what you would consider to be a more appropriate word and call Clara here what she really is -- my ****."

"Your ****?" asked the bearded gentleman. "She can't be your ****."

"Why not?" asked Missy. "You seem to have slaves all over the place in this period of history. What's wrong with this one?"

"But she's white!" cried the bearded gentleman.

"So?" asked Missy.

"Everyone knows that white people can't be slaves," said the bearded gentleman.

"That's not what the Turks and the Arabs of this period believe," said Missy. "Also the ancient Romans, the ancient Greeks, the ancient Egyptians... The list of humans who were just fine with the concept of white slaves is quite endless. I'm surprised you don't know this. But then you humans never were that knowledgeable about your own history."

"Geez, Missy," said future Clara, glancing at the crowd of people around them. "Do we have to do this now? We're a bit outnumbered here so now is not the time to be politically correct."

"Who's being politically correct?" said Missy. "I'm putting an uppity human in his place. One has to when you're a Timelady lest the poor dear start getting ideas above his station."

"That sounds more like the Missy I know," said future Clara with a frown.

"Come along, Clara," said Missy. "It's not like the so-called gentleman over there is going to challenge me to a duel. After all, there are certain things that just aren't done. If I had the time, I'd come back and see to it that his entire family got placed on the auction block in first-century Rome."

"But fortunately for him, you're above all that, right?" asked future Clara.

"No, fortunately for him, I have better things to do right now," said Missy.

And with that, she and future Clara disappeared into Missy's TARDIS.