Round 1: Groping

Lindsay scoops up two handfuls of gravy. She smiles at Hillary with a sweetness that doesn't match her threatening stance.

"Don't you dare!" shouts Hillary.

Lindsay throws the first handful at her opponent. The blond girl ducks, but takes Lindsay's second handful square in the face. The redhead runs up and shoves Hillary to the ground, sending out a thick splash of foodstuffs.

Lindsay runs around behind the fallen girl and falls to her knees to wrap her arm around Hillary's neck. She tries to put a **** hold on the blond girl, but doesn't seem to know how to get much leverage. Hillary, almost on her back, tries to push herself to a standing position, but slips back into the muck.

Hillary manages to reach behind her and hook a couple of fingers in Lindsay's bra. The frilly pink thing stretches, then breaks. It flies through the air and out of the ring. The boys in the front row dive for it as the rest of the crowd stares at Lindsay's fabulous breasts swinging free.

You create a cordless headset so you can commentate on the match without having to hold a microphone. "Folks, Hillary appears to be on the floor. But with these two lovely ladies swimming in 6 inches of creamy foods, I can't tell how much of her is on the ground. I'll need to get a good feel of how much of her is on the floor to see if Lindsay gets any points."

You move in close and sink your hand in the food underneath Hillary. She's almost lying on her back now as Lindsay tries to pin her. You run you hand along Hillary's spine until you get to her ass. "Folks, amazingly, Hillary isn't on the mat at all! Those strong legs of hers are keeping her backside up. I can feel her ass right now. It feels terrific, but it's not touching the canvas. Maybe a little squeeze of the other cheek to make sure? Nope! She's still up! No points for Lindsay!"

The two girls are locked in position without either of them making any progress. You pull them apart, getting another good feel of their tight bodies as you do. You point to the corners, but Lindsay reaches out and yanks Hillary's hair.

"OW!" yells the blond girl. "Why are you so mean?!"

Lindsay sticks out her tongue as you put and arm around her waist and cup her butt cheek to lead her back to her corner. As she sits you address the crowd. "Well everyone, as you know, hair pulling is not just legal in this league, but encouraged! However, fighting is supposed to stop as soon as I say so. Lindsay Lohan will get a cool-down penalty."

The cafeteria workers begin dumping buckets of soft serve vanilla ice cream into Lindsay's corner. This is such fresh, creamy ice cream that you're easily able to scoop out two servings with your hands.

You smear them over Lindsay's exposed breasts, causing her to gasp at the cold sensation on her skin. The ice cream quickly melts as her breasts cool off, allowing your hands to push through the creamy white substance and massage her generous breasts more directly. The cold makes her nipples stiffen and her breasts swell even bigger. Lindsay's head lolls back from the sensations.

You pull away from the delicious breasts. "And that should do it for round one, folks!"