A brief excerpt from Oswin Oswald's online journal

Day whatever and a half:

I woke up this morning. Cooked myself a quiche. Was going to cook myself a soufflé but I couldn't find the milk. Or eggs. No worries. Could go for a nice lemon curry. For some reason, they seem almost impossible to make.

Tried making myself a cocktail but as you might guess, all the booze in this escape pod ran out a long time ago.

"Neighbors" tried to break in again last night. I think they might be vampires. Or werewolves. Or egg men. They keep saying "egg" a lot for some reason. Damn Beatles were right. Maybe the walrus really was Paul. Which might explain why I can't find a good glass onion anywhere...

Beginning to regret listening to all the friends who urged me to go on an intergalactic cruise. "You'll meet new people," they said. "You'll come back a new person," they said. Right now I'd be grateful if I come back at all but somehow I doubt I ever will.

There are times when it seems like my pre-cruise life was just a dream. But that would mean my nightmares are reality and I'm not ready to admit that yet.

It's getting harder and harder to find clothes that don't have more holes than a fishing net. Sometimes I wonder if I'm better off just giving up on clothes and going naked. After all, it's not like anyone's likely to see me in here. At least I hope not.

On one hand, I don't want to be stark naked when the rescue ship arrives -- if it arrives. On the other hand, if the "neighbors" ever do succeed in breaking in, then whether or not I have clothes on will be the least of my concerns.

I've tried to summon somebody on the radio but the only person who ever answers is someone who calls herself Darla. I'd like to think of her as a vampire since she only answers at night but come to think of it, Darla sounds like a pretty silly name for a vampire. So she couldn't possibly be a vampire.

She did say something about a person named the Doctor who was headed in my direction. Also someone named Amy. Also someone named Rory, whom she code-named "The Pretty One."

I suspect she's just pulling my leg. She has known that I have a thing for the ladies ever since I met the mistake of telling her about my old college girlfriend Nina Ash. Nina used to tell me all sorts of interesting things about her great-grandmother back on Earth. Apparently her great-grandmother had the same name as Nina -- and used to have an affair with some private dick in a mythical city called LA. She used to tell me more but I always found it hard to concentrate when Nina was talking because she was usually busy doing other things at the time. Like me.

Anyway, I'll probably have to keep an eye out for this Doctor. And I'll definitely keep an eye out for Amy. But I don't expect too much. After all, it's not likely to be like one of those weird dreams that I have every so often where a naked redhead just shows up on my doorstep...