In Harm's way

"What the hell, Harmony!" cried Buffy after the crossbow bolt Harmony fired at her missed it by one inch. "You almost killed me!"

"My bad!" cried Harmony. "Let me try again."

"No, Harm," said Spike. "Put down the crossbow before someone gets hurt."

"But she's trying to steal you away from me, Blondie Bear," said Harmony.

"Nobody's stealing anybody from anything," said Buffy. "I didn't even want to be here."

"Harm, you and I have got to have a talk," said Spike, taking Harmony by the arm and guiding her away from Buffy and Drusilla.

"Well, I'm sure glad she's gone," said Drusilla. "Now you and I can be alone."

"What good would that do?" asked Buffy. "Even if I was inclined to switch teams -- which I'm not -- I wouldn't do so for the white lesbian vampire equivalent of Urkel."

"Urkel?" asked Drusilla with a puzzled look on her face.

"A black TV character," said Buffy. "Spends a lot of time chasing a girl named Laura and trying to get her to go out with him."

"Oh, I see," said Drusilla. "It's like a black version of your friend Xander."

"No, it isn't," said Buffy. "Urkel's this immature little pest who never takes no for an answer and Xander -- Okay, on second thought, he is a bit like Xander but in a good way."

"Whatever, Buffy," said Drusilla. "I still think we'd make a beautiful couple, you and I."

"Even if I thought you were serious, I can't help thinking that the only reason you would want me would be to keep Spike from having me," said Buffy.

"Do you hate yourself that much, Buffy?" asked Drusilla.

"No, I don't hate myself," said Buffy. "I just find it weird that in all the time I've known you, you never once hit on me before today."

"Well, before, I was with Spike," said Drusilla. "Now I am not."

"Well, if you were really serious, you'd break me out of these chains so that I'd have more of a choice in my actions," said Buffy. "Just standing here in chains is starting to get old. But it's just as well. You're all tied up anyway."

"On the contrary, Buffy," said Drusilla, as she brought her hands up from behind her back and showed them to be untied. "I used to be tied up."

"How did that happen?" asked Buffy.

Drusilla just smiled. Then she looked at Buffy as if memorizing something.

Then she bared her fangs at Buffy and ran straight toward her.