Crouching vampire, hidden slayer

"Slayer?" asked Buffy. "What's a Slayer?"

"Seriously?" asked Kennedy.

"Shut up, Kennedy," said Amy.

"He's talking about vampire slayers," said Drusilla to Buffy. "Have you seen one?"

"Why would I see one?" asked Buffy, taking yet another drag on her cigarette. "Everyone knows that vampires don't exist."

"They don't?" asked Drusilla.

"And if they don't exist, why should vampire slayers exist?" asked Buffy.

"You gotta be kidding me!" exclaimed Kennedy.

"I said, shut up, Kennedy," said Amy.

Drusilla turned back toward Amy. "Why are you being so mean to your girlfriend, Witch's Daughter?"

"She's not my girlfriend," said Amy. "She's just a friend."

Drusilla and Spike laughed.

"Oh, we both heard that one before," said Spike. "Dru and I might be a bit Victorian but we're not that Victorian. We know what you humans get up to. And we also know what 'she's just a friend' is usually code for."

"But she is just a friend!" exclaimed Amy.

"And Dru is my friend," said Spike. "A friend with benefits."

"Well, Kennedy really is a friend," said Amy, "and believe me, there are no benefits in this relationship."

"She called it a relationship, Spike," said Drusilla. "That's a sure sign right there."

"I guess it's one of those friendships that dare not speak its name," said Spike.

"Ha-ha, very funny," said Amy.

"I do have one question," said Buffy.

"Oh, no," said Amy. "Not you too."

"No, it has nothing to do with Kennedy," said Buffy. "I wanna know why the woman you call Drusilla keeps calling you the Witch's Daughter. I can understand why she calls me Smokey and Kennedy naked girl but I don't get the reason why she calls you the Witch's Daughter. I mean my own mom can be bad-tempered too but I wouldn't call her a wit--"

"My mother was a witch, Buffy," said Amy. "A real one."

"Like Samantha Stevens on Bewitched?" asked Buffy.

"More like Endora on a bad day," said Amy.

"And you believe this?" asked Buffy.

"You'll find out for yourself some day if you stay in Sunnydale," said Amy. "That's one reason why I want you to leave."

"Oh, really?" asked Buffy.

And with that, she reached into her purse and pulled out a vial of pills. She opened the vial and dry-swallowed one pill. Then she closed the vial and put it back in her purse.

"Still there, I see," said Buffy. "I guess I'm going to have to ask my therapist for a different prescription."