When Shit hits the fan

Morning arrived and stretching there I saw both women next to me as the night before however Torvi’s arms around Lagertha so looking behind me there I saw laying under the wolf skin naked Þorunn who smiled kissing my grinning lips, “We had a quick one last night! Remember?” and closing my eyes I remembered Lagertha and Torvi got hammered after and Þorunn saw her chance, “Was I adequate?” she queried causing me to lean over and wrap my arms around her before speaking, “You know you were better than that!” and sliding my cock into her I smiled kissing her lips to muffle her groans until, “Than get up we got to go!” We stopped and kissing her as the others woke I whispered, “Failed to beat the clock!” I walked out stretching my arms and being joined by Þorunn who adjusting her armour spoke, “I’ll get the the tents and food!” I nodded before stating, “Only enough to get to the wall, they will have a lot of resources when we get there!” she nodded and kissing her cheek. I saddled up the Isu made horses and petting Flames head I heard, “Dad...” “Yes son!” “Something happened last night!” “I know we heard!” “Not just that...I. Something happened!” “Spit it out Nekri!” I looked back before grabbing the next saddle I sighed before saying, “You took her as your lover!” “How did you know?” “Her name appeared on my list then left, I assumed either you almost killed her or you made her as such and now I can smell the new god smell!” “Aren’t you angry?” I shook my head before putting my hand on his should spoke, “Of course not! You loved her, it is just going to be weird calling her my daughter!” and hugging me which I didn’t usually like unless by Lagertha or the other women I spoke, “We will soon test your theory however. In the 7 kingdoms we have some beautiful women all over the island, so let’s see if your bond is true or just an implosive decision!” he nodded before saying, “Thank you for understanding!” “Son, I understand I used to feel like this for another woman, well women but I moved on. I just want you to be sure!” he nodded before looking around and saw the others start to look he whispered, “I don’t want the others to know!” I nodded before saying, “Just tell your mother! That is a must, you know how she gets!” he nodded causing me to call out, “Also get your saddle, you are coming with us, Lagertha wanted you too see the sights!” and leaning in, “Also Brienne has to come!” he nodded before waking back I simply smiled, “Heard did you?” Þorunn nodded before saying, “He may be your son but he is nowhere as secretive as you!” smiling as Torvi walked out groaning and clutching her head, “We leaving now?” “As soon as we can!” she nodded before saying her goodbyes to some of her lovers Þorunn asked, “Does it bother you that she has others? It bothers the men we sleep with you!” “No it bothers them, Lagertha spends majority of her days with me and you the same. To them less women equals less sex!” she nodded before saying, “Can’t help that you are the man I dream about!” and smiling I spoke, “Sometimes I wish I could dream!” and smiling she kissed my cheek, “I know you do! Anyway let’s finish getting ready!”

“How longs the journey?” Nekri “It took about a five days from Kings Landing to the wall and a day two hiking from the wall here! So about 5 days if we head straight there, 7 since we might as well see the sites of once was!” “It would be nice to see what we have apparently missed!” “It was beautiful before the wars! I admit that!” Brienne spoke and looking back Lagertha spoke, “Where did you live?” “We lived In Cumbria near the Starks, so naturally when the war started I was conflicted, I had a duty but the Starks were virtually the only family I had left after my parents ****!” Lagertha nodded before asking, “Well come on daughter you have a new one now! Nope...it still doesn’t feel right!” “That’s because you don’t use the word daughter in that instance!” I spoke and nodding she shrugged, “Suppose so!” “Like Brienne is my daughter in law fits!” “Thank Daddy!” Brienne teased, “I feel old now!” Lagertha muttered and smiling I spoke, “Would it help if I said you were sleeping with an 70 year old!” “Don’t you even dare make a comment!” he nodded before riding on over the the small river I heard, “Will we set camp up tonight?” “Torvi, I think we should set up camp as close to the wall as we can and from there I can raise our protectors up, saves not having to march them for miles!” she nodded before riding ahead barked, “Come on then let’s ride!” and following her lead the way.

Next day:

“Ready?” I queried and nodding they waited for the men to rise, “I thought the Isu warrior would rise?” “I thought bringing back the fallen would be better and less intimidating!” “Weaker?” “Definitely!” “It feels weird seeing the Daenerys and Jon again!” “We heard that!” “They are alive?” “Well sort of conscious, their brains sort of work!” Brienne nodded causing me to ask, “So Hades treating you bad?” “Hell! I feel the fire burn my body as I am **** to relive my last few days alive!” “That’s horrible Than!” “It’s a penance each person unjustly killed equals a year in penance which is deducted from your good deeds!” “I have killed so many people!” Torvi spoke causing me to state, “You are different?” “Am I?” “You are part of the legendary Spearwives which is considered to be part of the heroes and great men. Persephone also showed interest in your three, something about protection and needing someone new to protect her since Hekate betrayed her. Apparently you will be more loyal!” “Interesting offer!” “It’s actually an great offer with a lot of benefits!” I muttered, “One thing I have been meaning to ask you!” a zombie voice muttered, “Yes! Bran...whose legs now work!” “Hades and Persephone... do they have spend any time together?” “Yes and no. They don’t often but when they do they spend a lot!” “She gives the impression that she hates him!” I thought about it before saying, “Shit it’s that time of the year again!” “God’s have that?” Brienne queried, “It’s the time of the year where she was kidnapped by Hades. She always gets like this usually Hermes is the loyal lap dog for her mood swings but he had to do some work for Zeus!” see nodded and stopping in front of the sealed gate I barked, “Open up! I have a letter of safe transit to see the Queens!” we waited as I dangled the paper up, “Enter!” and seeing the gate open there we rode through to see the guards check the documents, “Right this way Than! May I say I am glad you are here!” “That bad?” “You know it’s bad when you invite **** into your lands!” “James how bad is it exactly?” and open the outer gates I dismounted to walk out and seeing the wreckage of the North and destruction of towers in the South spat, “Malakas!”

"Is it this bad everywhere?" James nodded before saying, "There is a saying around the kingdoms the North is wreckage where the four kingdoms are ruins only the south thrives!" "Really?" "Meera built walls around her territory to protect her kingdom, she used the naval fleet to attack and expand but to also gain supplies!" "She has one of the smallest kingdoms and is yet winning?" "They hire Danish and other Mercenaries to fight for them!" "She came up with this? and with what finance?" "Cersei effect, you know how bad it has gotten? People wanted Cersei again, she came up with plan and used the Laninister finance to fund it!" I nodded before walking through was met by the remainder of the people of the north who cried in relief, "Thanatos is back. Children **** has finally come for us!" "What do you mean?" "He has finally come for us!" the family's walked up and kneeling they spoke, "Please put us out of our misery!" I shook my head before saying, "Have some faith, I will sort it out for you!" "If you say so!" I looked over and seeing the carriages waiting I spoke, "Right Brienne, Tormund and Nekri take the back carriage, Torvi, Lagertha and Þorunn with me!" they nodded and climbing in I turned to Nekri smirked, "And Nekri please have decorum and not fuck your lover in your the carriage!" the others laughed and joining them in the carriage closed the door behind me and signalling to Lagertha to join me on my side she smiled touching my hair she spoke, "I should redo your hair!" I nodded before dropping to my knees she started to pull my hair tighter!" and laughing Torvi spoke, "It's amusing how someone so angry is so calm when they are getting their hair yanked!" "With Lagertha. I am always calm! Christ sake!" "What?" "This used to be Nothumbria! The North's capital" and seeing the destroyed markets and dead bodies, Þorunn simply said, "I think we are coming just in time!" “I fear it’s already to late!”

Baratheon territory in Wales was gone, Anglia was nothing more than a massive burning ground for the dead, ships were torched and stood as memorials to what once and Dragonstone/South Wales from what we could see was even worse and as the carriages stopped for the third night in what used to be the Dorne territory I sighed looking out from the top of the local inn, “All this for what? a crown and a title!” I muttered, I looked over to the wreckage and seeing the town of no more than fifty people who now freely walked in faith that I was here looking over them. “Hell isn’t it!” Brienne muttered climbing the ladder to join me, “All this for a crown, why is it that no one can ever settle in that position?” “Remember when you said a while back that the Throne corrupts and no human should wield such power or thoughts; it was during the time I was in prison...what if it isn’t the throne but the whole thing maybe humans aren’t meant to have the power!” “So what? I destroy the whole town and start again?” “No maybe what I am saying is...**** should rule in its place! They can’t be corrupted if they are dead...” “So I should rule?” I laughed before saying, “No chance! I rather destroy it all!” “Or Catelyn-Louise should... your 100% + plus Cersei’s 25%...You know that is a pretty good % of Isu blood!” “Isu are worse than humans this is why I don’t want the throne...we make humans Slaves and don’t get about their health this is why I am not ruling!” and sighing she said, “Yet you care for Lagertha and love or loved Sansa...promised to help the people; a good god if I ever saw one...” and laughing I spoke, “I wouldn’t keep Nekri waiting if I was you...” and hearing his door open she spoke, “He just doesn’t stop” “He will settle down eventually!” “You coming down?” “I think I will just walk around...any little help is better than no help, tell Lagertha will you?” she nodded and seeing me jump off and land to me feet she sat there as I walked away!”

“I was worried Thán!” Lagertha stuttered seeing me walk back and looking I spoke, “None of them deserve it!” “What do you mean?” “The **** that has been caused! The way the dead has been tossed into massive holes with no care, children starving, people scared of the wolves and other animals that prowl the streets...this is all under their watch!” “Just remember Sansa is fighting for Arya!” “Yeah I thought about that...and it made me question, she has ships and never once thought to smuggle her away or give her a ship to command...no she just immediately attacked Yara’s forces! They all deserve nothing!” I looked down and Brienne joining us spoke, “Maybe seeing the South will change your mind! It’s beautiful down there when you get past the massive wall! Untouched by the war!” I climbed in before closing the door muttered, “I hope so to!” The carriages rode into the courtyard and stopping there we saw the dead come to a stop, “Soldiers halt!” I barked and stopping they saw me jump out, “Relax and all that rubbish. Just make sure no one attacks each other got it?” I went to walk up the door before stopping spoke, “Actually... Jojen Reed come here, Theon Greyjoy, Eddard and Catelyn Stark come here. Jon and Daenerys you as well!” “Why do we need the dead?” Brienne spoke and shrugging I spoke, “Maybe they could talk some sense into their heads!” I stated and walking up the steps to be met by the guards they spoke, “State you business!” “Request!” “Let me just...” “I don’t have time for this rubbish! MOVE!” I growled and seeing the bodies of the dead standing their pale, emotionless and all clearly showing their wounds I pushed passed their shocked persons, “Nice and smooth Than!” James mocked and pushing past them I heard the weasel of the man who was running next to me grovelling spoke, “They aren’t quite ready yet if you care to wait...” “No! We will be in the throne room. Get them there!” “What should I address you as?” “The Highland Clan and Dead!” he rushed around to each room.

"Queen Yara Greyjoy of the Four Kingdoms!" she walked in with grace and leaning in Lagertha queried, "This is the Queen?" I nodded before staring at her waited for the next one's to arrive, "It's been a while Than!" Yara mocked and glaring at her I snapped, "I have a lot to tell you all of you! None of it you are going to like. So the others where are they?" "Coming now, I hope!" "Queen Meera of the South, with her Adviser Cersei Lannister and her daughter Catleyn-Louise!" I smiled seeing Cersei walk in and looking behind her stood the woman, my daughter tanned with dark hair and in the prime of her life and wearing her loose fitting dress made from the continent she hesitantly stopped in front of me, "Are you my father?" I nodded and teary eyed she immediately hugged me, "I waited for years to see this moment!"

"I wasn't sure Cersei would have told you about me!" and stepping forward Cersei spoke, "Of course I would Than, this is our daughter and I wouldn't deny her that right" I hugged Cersei before leading them to Lagertha I simply said, "Cersei this is Lagertha my partner and Catelyn's brother, Nekri!" they studied each other studying the golden lines on each others faces and arms before smiling Nekri spoke, "Catelyn" she hugged him before saying, "Brother!" he returned the hug as he spoke, "This is my lover Brienne!" "You and Brienne? Finally found someone!?" Brienne smiled before hugging her spoke, "It's been a while Catelyn!" "Eight months, I missed you!" and smiling we were interrupted by the announcement of, "Queen Sansa of the North and Princess Arya!" and turning around there I saw that old flame walk in with her diadem firmly on her head, "Than?" "'ello Sansa" she smiled before rushing to hug me was met by me pushing her back to all the non-outsiders gasp, "Than what are you doing?" I looked over at them all before saying, "I am sorry but I am not happy with you all! What the fuck have you done to the world? All over Arya; a war that has caused the island to be in ruins!" "Hang on who the hell are these ladies?" Yara spoke and looking back I spoke, "These are Spearwives or to others shieldwomen unlike you there are fierce warriors who understand the meaning of sacrifice unlike you lot! This is Torvi, Þorunn and this...this is Lagertha!" she smiled before grabbing my arm to Sansa's hissing causing her to speak, "Oh...you have met someone and who's this?" "I am Nekri Than's and Lagertha's son!"

"Oh...I thought...Well I thought Than wouldn't have, I didn't..." "I told you to move on, I didn't expect to ever be allowed back in again and didn’t want you wait!" Lagertha looked at Sansa before reassuring her spoke, "Sansa...where we come from, we don't have marriages, not enough woman for that; instead we just have lovers or romances!" "So you are whore?" Sansa snapped, "Because we have multiple lovers doesn't mean I am a whore and I will gladly use the sharp end of my sword to remind you. Besides...I haven't actually had sex with another man in five years!" The group fell silent as Sansa spoke, “I’ve missed you so much!” and looking down I spoke, “I thought about you for years but the freezing snow at winter and boggy summers reminded me that I would not see you again, that’s why for so long I didn’t commit!” “It’s true Sansa...You were always the main conversation at Thans table, he told us your story, your past and how you grew to be stronger!” “I just never anticipated seeing you again!” she nodded before looking at me spoke, “After this please can we talk in private, I would feel more comfortable!” I nodded smiling said, “Yes it would be nice to iron out the creases!” before turning around I took a breath and snapped, “What the hell did you all do to the island? Towns have less than 50 people, homes destroyed, children being murdered by the wildlife all for what? Yara jealous because of Arya who she treated shit! And you...Why on the earth did you go to war over it? One sit down and a treaty could have been arranged!” “It wasn’t just for Arya...I did it for you, I wanted to defeat her to invite you back in or lose and be exiled with you...” she confessed and sighing I spoke, “You fool...I am not worth the number dead, you knew I hated this and the each person dead results in me having to go taking them over to the other side for the last few years it has been nonstop I almost missed Nekri’s birth for, I missed his first words, missed his first steps all for this fucking war!” and feeling an grab on my arm I looked back to see Lagertha lightly pull it. I took an breath before nodding spoke, “I know Lagertha, calm down; it’s just all this for nothing more than power!” “In my defence she did go and invade Cumbria to me that is a clear offensive tactic and I sought to defend it!” “Why is it the Meera and Cersei are the only ones who have the intelligence to defend their land but to also keep the people safe...you know how bad it is; people want me to kill them because **** has to be better than this, some even want me to rule the living and some even begged for Cersei to put back on the throne because at least people weren’t dying on a regular basis like they are now!” “I actually wouldn’t mind that...” confessed Brienne, “You elected me now order them to stand down and I will grant them leniency and you a pardon!” Yara barked, “We have the stronger army, so stand down or the remainder of the people die with you!” “I am the queen of he kingdoms you are just the Queen of the North!” “Yet you are just as bad as the rest!” they started to argue and leaning in to Arya I queried, “I have heard of a tale where you got drunk and fucked Sansa?” “Well it’s not exactly true we both drinking but we did fuck, it wasn’t any kissing just a fake cock fucking her as she cried your name out!” I nodded before asking, “Where’s our child?” “Well Yara didn’t actually conceive where our daughter Esme is currently safe in the South!” “Good!” “So Catelyn How has life been for you?” “Different then most, I heard stories but never understood or believed them I know a lot about you even your...know size!” “How did you find that out?” “Mum got drunk one night during and feast and bragged about it!” I nodded before asking, “And Meera and Cersei get on?” “Meera uses her advice and Cersei gets the benefits, who would complain? After this she gets the whole of South if Meera wins!” I nodded before seeing Lagertha push them apart I snapped, “Fuck this...since it’s clear I can’t convince you to stop, hopefully these will!” and pointing to the door in walked the pale bodies of their relatives, “Will you please tell them to stop fighting?” “Mum? Dad? How!” “Brought them back to tell you to stop, their brains function as they would but the rest is gone!” “Yara you need to stop this!” her brother begged, “Why?” “Because we promised to never become what Cersei and the others were!” “Mom? Dad? We have missed you!” and sighing I spoke, “Jeffery!” “My name is Harold!” “Okay Harold tell them we will finish this tomorrow hopefully by then some sense would have been spoken to into to their heads. Do we have rooms for the night?” “Just being prepared for you! Will the dead be using a room?” “I don’t know actually, it may be wise to ask later!” he nodded and leading us out were taken to our rooms.