Kate Lockley

Cordelia turned and tried her damnest to keep a smile on her face.

"Kate," she said. "Long time no see. How is everything in -- you know -- Copland?"

"Are you drunk, Cordelia?" said Detective Kate Lockley of the LAPD. "Or stoned?"

"What makes you say that?" asked Cordelia, trying to cover herself with her hands and feeling like a little girl caught stealing candy by her big sister.

"Because one, you aren't wearing any clothes, and two, you aren't answering my questions," said Kate.

"I got hit by a spell or something," said Cordelia. "There was this strange lady in the corner booth of the coffee shop. I saw her talk a waitress into taking off all her clothes and then throwing them away and when I tried to confront her about it -- the strange lady, not the waitress -- she must have did the same thing to me."

"It's a good thing for you that I know you and know of all the strange things that you and Angel encounter because if anyone else had told me that story, I would at the very least be administrating a breathalyzer test at this moment," said Kate. "Where is this lady exactly?"

"In the corner booth on the other end of the coffee shop," said Cordelia. "But don't confront her. She might do the same thing to you."

"Don't worry, Cordelia," said Kate. "I know what I'm doing. Wait right here."

Where else am I going to go? thought Cordelia as she watched Kate walk right out the restroom door and head for the corner booth where the strange lady was still drinking coffee. I have no clothes on.

"Hey, you," said Kate to the woman in the corner booth. "I want to talk to you."

And with that, she flashed her detective badge.

"Good morning, Detective," said the lady in the corner booth. "To what do I owe this special visit?"

"I've had a complaint about you," said Kate. "Several of them, in fact. A woman matching your description has been frequenting establishments like this one and passing phony twenty-dollar bills. And when she wasn't doing that, she was encouraging otherwise law-abiding citizens to violate the indecent exposure laws."

"That sounds like a dangerous criminal," said the woman. "You should probably arrest her."

"I'm talking about you," said Kate.

"I'm sure you think you are," said the woman. "Do you wish to sit down and talk about it?"

"No, I want you to come down to the station with me and answer some questions," said Kate. "As of this minute, you're under arrest."

"Wow!" cried the woman in the corner booth. "You're such a serious woman."

"Of course I am," said Kate.

"A tough chick, no doubt," said the woman.

"Yes, I am," said Kate.

"And yet you look so attractive in your detective suit," said the woman.

"Why, thank you," said Kate.

"Don't you ever take it off?" said the woman.

"Only when I'm off-duty," said Kate.

"Aren't you off-duty now?" asked the woman.

"No, I -- I believe I was in the process of arresting you," said Kate.

"But doesn't that suit feel a bit uncomfortable right now?" asked the woman.

"Why, yes, it does," said Kate.

"Well then," said the woman. "There's nobody but us girls here. Why don't you take it off?"

xxx

Twenty minutes later, Kate entered the ladies' room carrying her detective badge in her hand and wearing nothing else but a frown. She took one look at Cordelia, pointed a finger at her, and said, "Don't you say a fucking word!"