Buffy's Identity Crisis

"Oh, come on, Kathy," said Buffy-in-Faith. "Whatever you're laughing at can't possibly be that funny."

"Yes it is, Rose," said Kathy Newman. "Just the thought of you trying to pass yourself as my ex-roommate Buffy makes me giggle."

"But I am Buffy!" exclaimed Buffy-in-Faith.

"Sure you are, Rose, sure," said Kathy. "I suppose next you'll be telling me that you're a vampire slayer."

"Well, actually..." Buffy-in-Faith started to say but Faith-in-Buffy interrupted.

"Why do you keep calling her 'Rose'?" asked Faith-in-Buffy, pointing to Buffy-in-Faith.

"It's her nickname," said Kathy. "I first met her while she was posing nude for this art class so I like to call her Rose as in Rose Dawson of Titanic because of that."

"So you met her in art class, huh?" asked Faith-in-Buffy. "And she was really nude?"

"Yes, she was," said Kathy.

"Interesting," said Faith-in-Buffy.

"Now here's a question for you," said Kathy. "Why do you keep calling her 'B'?"

"Because it's her middle name," said Faith-in-Buffy.

"It is not," said Buffy-in-Faith.

"Sure it is," said Faith-in-Buffy. "It stands for 'Beatrice'. As in Faith Beatrice Lehane. But she really hates her middle name so she always tries to ignore me when I tease her with it."

At this point, Buffy-in-Faith rolled her eyes.

Then Kathy said, "It's okay, Rose. If you want to play pretend, I can understand why you're doing it. If I swung your way and I had a hot nude girlfriend like Buffy, I'd be overly protective of her too."

"Wait a minute!" said Buffy-in-Faith, pointing to Faith-in-Buffy. "You think she is my girlfriend?!"

"Hey, you think she is my girlfriend?!" exclaimed Faith-in-Buffy, pointing to Buffy-in-Faith. "Geez, it should be obvious that I could do much better."

"Hey, I could do much better!" said Buffy-in-Faith.

"I don't know, B," said Faith-in-Buffy. "I think I could do much better than you could."

"Oh, please!" exclaimed Buffy-in-Faith.

"How cute!" exclaimed Kathy. "A lover's quarrel."

"Shouldn't we get back to the whole 'Kathy is a demon' thing?" asked Buffy-in-Faith.

"A demon?" asked Kathy. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do," said Buffy-in-Faith.

"No, I don't," said Kathy.

"Yes, you do," said Buffy-in-Faith.

"No, I don't," said Kathy.

"Yes, you do," said Buffy-in-Faith.

"No, I don't," said Kathy.

Well, this conversation went downhill fast, thought Buffy-in-Faith. I wonder what else could happen.

It was then, of course, that Kathy reached into her purse for something. Buffy-in-Faith had no idea what it was until she got a dose of pepper spray in the face. And by the time she recovered from that, she had been handcuffed to the bar.