Brave Horatio, The Captain of the Gate

Immediately the watchman of the gatehouse had sprung up at the distant sight of a naked girl scrambling in the mud.

Not looking away a fire was lit and a trumpet was sounded.

The captain of the guard was roused and all the castles defenses put on alert at to be at their stations.

Archers at arrow slits, men holding boulders and buckets of water above holes, waiting to be dropped, and the captain of the guard with retinue of fifty coming to the portcullis to which they were greeted by a very odd herald, sans banner, sans horse, sans everything.

Crying, "It's...me HILDA!"

"Lady Hilda?", the man gazed quizzically and commanded the gate to be realized his mistress, the Lady of the Castle, was butt naked.

And evidently...very horny.

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