Dustin

Dustin: So you know Paul at work? The one who’s always going n about the universe being a computer simulation.

Heather: Uh-huh...

Dustin: Turns out he was right. He actually managed to hack into the system using our computers at work. The whole universe is just this big computer simulation on some computer outside the universe.

Heather: that’s nice…

Dustin: Anyway, this app he made lets me look things up about people inthe simulation. Turns out you’ve been boning Derek Wang for the past three years behind my back.

Heather: Interesting… Wait… What?

Dustin: I know about you and Derek, Heather.

Heather: Wait, so you’re saying that Paul at work hacked into my computer and says I’m cheating on you?

Dustin: You never listen. I’m saying that Paul hacked into the universe and found out that you’re cheating on me. But don’t worry. I’m not mad. It’s just a simulation and Paul's app can rewrite it.

Heather: That’s just absurd! Derek and I are just friends.

Dustin: Oh well if you’re just friends you won’t mind if I swap him out with the code for Denise Wang, our slutty bisexual neighbor.

<click>

Heather: What, are you crazy?

Dustin: Here, I'll adjust your memory to accomodate Denise.

<click>

Heather: Denise and I are just friends! You know I don’t swing that way, Dustin!

Dustin: Oh, but you could with just a click.

<click>

Heather: You know I love you, Dustin, but when I see those big fake titties she’s always showing off in those tiny tops, I just lose all self control! I’m faithful to you in my heart, but those titties! You understand, don’t you? I mean, you’ve seen them!

Dustin: Only the design specs. I'm sure she'll have my cock between them soon enough.

Heather: I…don’t understand…

Dustin: Of course not. You’re a bimbo. You dropped out of high school and made your living as a waitress at Hooters until I found you one night and invited you to start dancing at the strip club I own. You know you’re not very smart so you play up the sexy bimbo act to hide all your insecurities.

Heather: That’s not tru….

<click>

Heather: <giggle> I’m a naughty girl for sucking on Denise’s big ol’ titties without asking you first, Dustin! Please don’t be mad! I’ll do anything for you not to be mad at me! <giggle>

Dustin: Well, maybe I'd be less mad at you if you had big ol' titties of your own...

Heather: Oh! I could get implants!

Dustin: This is faster.

<click>

Heather: You know my big ol' titties belong to you, Sweetie! Denise and I were just playing!

Dustin: Well then you better crawl under the table and prove it, Heather.

Heather: Of course, Dustin. Any time you want, you know I will!

Dustin: I do! I rewrote the code myself!