Take Helen ("Toy Soldiers")

"I'm... not going to go pick her up. " I stated, looking my beautiful wife right in the eyes. "But I have to help."

"I know. " Kaila replied, her eye apologetic. "I know you have to. Just take somebody, anybody."

"What if I don't take the Bus? It's only a few miles to town. I think there's an ATM at the market. I'll just put the cash in, grab whatever we need and come back here. "

"Hey, I still want to take that hike." Helen piped up. "I've been wanting to... Well, Kaila, Brent and I really haven't had time to talk since..."

"Yeah. You're right." Kaila nodded. " We can make this work. Pick up something nice... Ok? And don't... just tell your sister to fuck off after this? This is our time."

"Can I have a little of yoah time then?" Charlotte smiled, pushing Helen back. "There's something really... I remembered something last night. It's important but it's really just for Kay."

"No secrets." Kaila raised a finger in warning. "I don't want any secrets if we're... Charlie are we doing this? Are we?"

"No, I'm not going to ask you to leave him or anything. It's... It's special. And I don't want to ruin the surprise for Helen and Brent."

"Surprise?" Helen perked up. "We're out the door. Where's my shoes?"

"Helen? Did I say something..." Kaila asked, her expression a bit perplexed.

"Oh you're going to love this. I don't even know what it is and I'm excited. Charlotte's always great at these." Helen searched around the room, finding a pair of my socks which I had left near the door and pulling them on rapidly. "Has anybody seen my sports bra?"

"I think you left it in the bedroom yesterday before... It's in the bedroom." Kaila checked her statement, looking over at me with a wink. "Last thing I need to do is get you riled up before you head off with your new girlfriend."

"Is she his girlfriend now?" Charlotte asked, leaning back on the couch. "She's still mine as well you know."

"And kinda mine too. I know. This is... how the fuck did this happen?" Kaila groaned, moving to run her fingers along the back of the open couch.

"Well, if I recall you asked where we were goin'?" Charlotte laughed, extending her hand to touch at my wife's hand. "And then one thing led to another..."

"Fine, you guys negotiate, Brent and I will get dressed." Helen rolled her eyes. "And I'm bringing my bow, Just in case I see a Blue Honda."

[Note To the Reader: The final two days of the story down this path take some supernatural turns. Essentially, if you want to keep it "Real and Rational" the "Mega-Happy" ending is about the farthest thing from it.]