Taylor Swift

What the hell?

You were never a fan of her music, in fact you tried to ignore most of the mega-famous people's lives, it made you sick to your stomach the idea people were so obsessed with these caricature excuses for people that you actively avoided any kind of celebrity gossip, but seeing Taylor's name in the book has caught your attention big time, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't a little bit intrigued.

You look for more interesting names in the book of celebrities but can't seem to find any, at least not recent ones - you nearly press Marilyn Monroe as soon as you find it but the whole Taylor Swift thing is just too interesting to ignore.

You quickly press your name and the room around you shifts manically, the brimstone steps and altar vanish entirely, and the light in the room vanishes, shading you in darkness. A stage appears in front of you, rising slowly from the ground and you see Taylor Swift stood on it. She's holding an award in one hand and about to speak into her microphone when suddenly a man runs on stage.

Oh, you remember this.

Kanye West grabs the microphone from Taylor and begins speaking.

"Ay, yo Taylor I'mma let you finish, but Rihanna was the best lay OF ALL TIME!"

Kanye begins yelling of all time again, before suddenly smacking Taylor's ass hard. She stares at him in shock, her red lips hanging wide open, revealing those perfectly white celebrity teeth.

"What are you talking about!?" Taylor says angrily, snatching the microphone back from Kanye who instead of spanking Taylor grabs her ass, squeezing it and pulling her closer.

"Hush white girl and ya might go far in this biz" he says, suddenly more men are walking on stage and you realise it's Kanye's posse.

You realise, this must be Taylor Swift's own personal Hell. The men's clothing suddenly vanishes, they're all huge black men.. both in height and also in manhood. You can picture exactly what's about to happen as Kanye forces Taylor down onto her knees as he begins to unbuckle his jeans.

This is weird, but you're kind of into it.