A rude awakening

You wake to the ever-so-obnoxious sound of your cell phone's default ringtone. For what must be at least the thousandth time, you make a mental note to change it soon. You reach for the phone's customary place on the nightstand, only to find it isn't there. Not the phone, but the nightstand. This isn't your bed.

That thought stirs you awake, and you leap out of bed as yesterday's events come rushing back to you. A quick look around confirms that you're still at Allison's place. Another quick look confirms that your body is still very much female. And it aches everywhere.

You grumble to yourself as you rummage through your borrowed clothes on the floor. Why did you even bring your cellphone? This would probably be your mom calling to check up on you. She'd make some oblique reference to try to make sure you used protection last night, and you'd tell her... Wait, no. You wouldn't tell her anything, not with this voice. Shit.

You're somewhat relieved, after that train of thought, to see a number you don't recognize on the screen. You pick up without really thinking about it.

"Wakey-wakey, bitch."

It is, of course, the same mystery caller from yesterday morning. You're tempted to just hang up. You're also tempted to scream obscenities. You do neither of these things, however, and after a brief pause he (or is it she? You can't really tell for sure) continues. "I mean, at first it was kinda funny, that even your girlfriend prefers the slutty cunt to the real you..." Your head whips back and forth, scanning the room in a panic. How the hell...?

"But then you went and worked it out anyway! I was all ready to watch you fall, watch every bit of your life stripped away until nothing was left but a knocked-up two-bit whore. It would have been sooo much fun. But instead, you try to dump this cheesy romance plot on me. Did you forget who was in control here? Well? Don't be shy now, I want to hear you beg before I decide on your new punishment. Maybe I'll make you hideous, see how she likes you then. Or I could just make it so only a man can satisfy your urges. Then again, maybe I'll take it out on your bitch girlfriend, it is her fault after-"

"No!" You scream into the phone, surprising even yourself with the intensity of your reaction. "Is everyone just a toy to you?! I've played your stupid game, and I'm winning. I don't know what I might have done to deserve any of this, but Allison's done nothing wrong. She deserves to be happy, to have a good life! If you do anything to her, I swear, no matter what it takes, I will find a way to hurt you!"

For a time, there is no sound from the other end of the line. You pull the phone away from your ear to make sure they haven't hung up. Then you hear it. At first, it's just a soft chuckle, but it slowly and steadily increases in volume until the voice on the phone is cackling maniacally like some sort of super-villain.

"You - hahah - you're gonna hurt me?! And, what was that, you're winning?! Oh, man! You've really got it bad, haven't you? You'd say anything to protect your sweet, precious 'Allie'. She wasn't half so precious to you just a day ago." The voice pauses, apparently to catch it's breath. "Well, you know what?" It continues, dripping with malice and insincerity, "You're right. Who am I to get in the way of True Love? You've won me over with your heartfelt argument. I'll leave things just like they were, and I'm sure everything will work out perfectly for you. You've got it all figured out after all... haven't you?" *click*

....

What the hell just happened?

...whatever. Figuring out what was going on was going to take more brain power than you could muster before breakfast. Besides, you realize with a start, you have a more immediate problem for right now: