Just look at the stats and watch over Rachel.

You throw a concerned look at your female ****, before accepting that she is not going to wake up anytime soon. With that in mind you take out your stat-sheet. (Nice, got work to do now. Narrator time, bitches)

###CHARACTER-SHEET###

Name: Shadowbane (uhhhh, sweet mother of, of, of, can I even say this here? - anyway that sounds neat)

Race: Shadowdemon (Someone clearly wasn't sure how to name you, or is it the fact that your files are kinda tucked away somewhere)

Class: Superior Shadow (Erm, so, what exactly does this mean, are you now like a CEO or something of Shadowcorp? Not that I would know what any of this means, thats above my paygrade)

Level: 8 (well truth be told I nearly did a missclick here and added a few zeros, wouldn't that be fun suddenly at level 800, but nah wouldn't be much fun for long)

###VITAL STATISTICS###

STR: 20 (Erm, you are not occupying a body now are you? Just check for a second please)

DEX: 30 (I am still confused, well you are still confused I mean, since when do you have stuff here)

CON: 50 (erm, someone fucked up, that can't be right)

APP: 50 (It seems like finally someone likes you - well excpent Rachel of course, and that weird healer guy, who seems like he wants to suck your dick, just sayin')

CHA: 40 (Lookie here, It's not like you weren't expecting some change weren't you?)

WIS: 60 (Okay, hold the carrier pidgeon again, here is something terribly wrong all these stats are way too high)

INT: 30 (Seems like you now can see through Rachel pants - no, well, that was normal seeing as she wears no pants, which you did make her do)

###DERIVED STATISTICS###

HP: 100 (holy shiterro, what happend here, you can ram a goat and survive - ram as in headbutt not ram as in in fuck, cheesus guys whats wrong with you)

MP: 10/640 (Sooo your Mana Pool is really depleted it seems, but look at that max-amount, we clearly have a winner here, this is going to be even awesomer if it gets higher, and yes I know I didn't calculate for all the levels inbetween, first of all, I am lazy - deal with it -, second of all that would make the shade-thingy really fucking OP, and we don't want that, or do we?) [calc.: WIS*Level + Base]

MP-REG: 4/Minute (Again, freekin lazy bummer, also you just came here for the wank, this is just the fluff around the wank. Although if you have a fluff around your wank you should either shave or your girlfriend/boyfriend/sister/brother should shave her hand, unless you are into that sort of thing, I ain't judgin') [calc.: MP*(LEVEL/WIS)+Base]

MV-Ground: 20 (So why is there a ground only, you could float before what is now different?)

MV-Air: 30 (Again why is this different, you blind boar should look behind you sometimes, gonna break it to you this way, you now got wings - kinda a downgrade I know before you could float now you have to do a flappybird impression, but alas you finally can do something isn't that worth a few sacrifices?)

SS: 5,15 (Something clearly seems wrong about this, like ther should definetly be a higher number, whats this, a letter: Dear Narrator, kindly go fuck yourself, the typist - how kind of him - and NO i ain't gonna stop this split-personality-thingamatchinks) [calc.: (Current SS)+(APP+CHA+WIS)*(Level/20)]

LR: 70 (Well you know a bit more, like that you are a scourge for this world, designed to ruin it, fuck it, kill it, narrate it - oh good joke)

AG: 40 (So why is this not divided in Air or Ground, but well it isn't so maybe thats a good thing)

PC: 50 (Tactical Visor activated - ooops sorry wrong game, there is no impulse ammunition in this one)

###Race Abilities### (should I just mention new ones or all, such difficult desicions, it's like do I want to use my right hand while typing or the left hand - tmi? Well sorry.)

Shadow: Harmed by magical Attacks, healed by shadow-magic (Well you have to have some kind of debuff, don't you?)

***Hidden-Passive***: Shadow-Corruption: Harmed by physical Attacks, when in group with player-character corrupts player-character giving the "Shadow-corruption-buff" {also counts for pets} (I have been thinking, does Rachel count more as your pet, your **** or partner. I am really confused haveing called her the first two, but legally she is in your party as well - or are you in hers - illuminati in this game confirmed!)

Shadowphasing (Spell): enemies killed before 120 minutes of time have passed since their killing can be copied for a short period of time [Level of Caster+MP+WIS/Level of Victim+WIS = Time copied = MP needed] while in this form shade gains stats from occupied form, but remains race shadow (Uhhh, the **** is strong in this one - still it isn't technicly **** so I am not as attracted to this as I would be - I am joking by the way)

Shadowsight (Spell): Target a NPC or PC with the Debuff 'Secrets offered' which gives the spellcaster the CHR of the victim and makes the victim submissive towards the caster for 10 minutes [Level of Caster+MP+CHR against Level of Victim+MP+CHR], only available once per day (I don't want to sound like someone picky, but it seems to me that for the timeintervalls someone just put numbers into the fields and didn't really care about their hight or some shit like that - it's not that anyone else than the typist really knows whats on the sometimes used dices appears - *cough* you died three times already *cough*)

###Class Abilities###

Shadowbane: Double damage from holy attacks, double damage from holy weapons, heals through corruption magic, heals from corrupted weapons (I really thought about takeing this one out, but then I rememberd marvel didn't give too many fucks either, thats why they were killed by katniss - oh wait I am mixing some things ain't I?)

Shadowwalker: If during daytime no part of creature is exposed to sun and on open ground become invisible. (Yisss, saved your life didn't it? Well too bad Rachel didn't have that either - too soon?)

Shadowsword: Can conjure a shadowsword with ATK: (MP spent) (double damage to holy, double heal to corrupted) (So just a bigger stick?)

Silence: Once a day kill a non-holy, non-noble NPC or PC - uses your complete Manapool as well as half your HP (Erm, what, now you know for sure that you are overpowerd, but the non-holy sucks, they will be the ones coming for you the most probably, seeing as the gods don't really like you)

You close your sheet again, feeling stronger for it. Looking behind yourself as best as you can manage you see the tips of two large batlike wings. While reaching behind to feel them you feel your hand brush against a horn, feeling a bit more up your head you feel a second one. Both are formed inward and are completly smooth. You are a real demon (at least from the looks) now, but even if you have sort of a form now and strength you still are kinda non-solid.

Hearing a sigh from beneath you you see Rachel open her eyes. The blue in her eyes glimmers towards you while she whispers in her sweet voice "Master. I know you wouldn't have let me die, Helia threatend to never let me come back like normal heroes would come back if I died, I heard her she was sooo angry with you and me, master, please let me never hear her again." You pet your little pet (nice play of words, mate) and tell her "You never should have doubted me and told me right away". She swallows and for the first time since wakeing up takes your new form completly in and whispers again "You look so magnificent, master." You grin at her while thinking about your next move.