The trouble with wedding rings.

Moira stood her ground as she assessed the demon. John and Tricia both stared intently at her, ready for any sudden movements. But instead of the instant battle rage or bloodlust that was expected, even experienced, the Warden seemed calm... even nonchalant.

"So you've trapped the dem-" Lily's groan cut the Warden off. "... You've trapped the d-" Another tireless moan. Tricia cleared her throat; the ground underneath Lily's "trap" and the nearby cart of jars began to lower without a sound and took a fair amount of the laboratory floor down with them. As the objects lowered out of vision, with a small fleet of worker drones following the platform down, small black plates began to assemble from the edges of the new hole in the earth to quickly entomb Lily and her moans beneath a thin layer of steel tiles.

Tricia kept her eyes and placid expression on the Warden. The moans were just barely audible, and just as pleased, even in this sudden burial.

Moira glared between the floor and the Gorbachev who controlled it. A few beats passed before she risked speaking again. "So you've trapped the demon."

"Affirmative."

"Though she seems to be pretty alright with it," John muttered, staring at the floor.

"Yes, well... while I still must demand some strict rules for your possession of the demonic," Moira began to lecture, "my primary concern is the return of my... property." She glared at John, who was already pulling up his inventory in a hurry. "I'm also currently... on an extended patrol, as far as the Order is concerned, which will perhaps give us the time necessary to address this problem." She held up her hand and the faintly glowing band tattooed around its ring finger.

The chastity belt and its associated key manifested in John's hands, and Moira was quick to rush up and snatch them from him. "W-Well, about the ring-" John paused and watched as Moira very casually undressed. His eyes widened slightly as she revealed her panties--more a string of pink, really--and hastily removed them. With panties and hammer in her hand, she shoved the lot of it back into her shield.

A moment later, she was dressed anew and seemingly confident as ever. "The ring, then." Tricia and John exchanged glances. "... Remove it."

"Well, I mean, I would but..."

"Are you truly unaware of the significance and properties of Abyssal wedding bands?" John and Moira both tossed confused glances at Tricia, who returned them in disbelief.

"I-I still don't really get it-" John started.

"Why would I know something like that?" Moira scoffed.

"You're a Warden, even that minimal training should be available to you."

"Do not presume what the wisdom of the Order and the Lady would ordain to be necessary-"

"Ignorance cannot be called-"

"Hey!" Both ladies turned their glares onto John. "I think... we're all just a bit curious, right? So how about we calmly cover it... no insults, no jabs... just tell us what they are, Tricia. I have more than one reason to learn, myself." He flashed his ring-riddled hand as evidence.

Tricia blushed slightly, cupping her own ring. "Ahem... yes, my... apologies, Warden," she curtly stated. Moira folded her arms and listened as Tricia began. "An Abyssal wedding band is only barely like a wedding band in human terms. First, it conveys an **** connection that can serve as a medium for a number of beneficial or transferable magical rituals and effects, including healing, communication, and remote location. It allows emotions to be more readily conveyed between the pairs; it enhances attraction, pleasure... presumably love, as well."

Moira blushed at that and worked hard to not glance at her husband. John, now on his sixth wife, was less enchanted. "So it's usually more mind control..."

"I-I beg your pardon-"

"In more ways than one."

"What you've described merely sounds like... a good... healthy... enhancement to something already cherished... N-Not that I intend to keep it! I mean, I couldn't... I..."

"That isn't the end of it," Tricia chastised. "The symbol of unity--the eternal ring, binding in matching pairs--is one shaped by the feelings and views of those who wear them. It could be one of equality, of enhancing those joined emotions to a new, beautiful state, one heightened beyond mere human experience..."

Moira's heart fluttered as romantic visions overtook her, of John and her cuddling in their wedding bed, hearts overflowing with passion-

"... and they could also signify a master and a ****, subsuming the will of one and glorifying the control the other has over the victim."

-and Moira's visions became one of a sadistic, unusually tall and muscular John, pointing and laughing at his foolhardy wife as he bathed in a fountain of sluts, many of them bearing striking resemblances to the noxious Gorbachev. "Gah!"

"... W-Wait, mine definitely don't do all of that!" John exclaimed. "They just give me small stat boosts!" Of course, there's the hivemind ring... but I should probably keep that under wraps...

"You seem fairly sure... hmm. Indeed, I've no records analyzing the intensity, patterns, or rate of maturity of these unions, or their effects... but we should be vigilant in detecting any such effect as time and exposure increases."

"Yes, well, perhaps one day..." Moira's gaze seemed distant until she realized the others were staring at her. "I-I mean, it must be removed, of course... and right now! I obviously want nothing of the sort to remain on my person."

John stared blankly at the redhead as she stumbled through her sentences. "Moira, do you... watch anime, like at all?"

"Anime...? You mean... cartoons?" Moira mocked.

"Nevermind..."

Tricia cleared her throat. "Whatever methods might exist for their removal, they're not available to me; at the very least, they're not on the Gorbachev database. If you were to ask your Order as to what methods-"

"I would be ruined!"

"-they have, you may find they're more well-equipped to remove yours." Tricia flicked a lock of her golden hair. "I will retain mine, of course."

Tricia casts the Eye of the First Truth on herself! A calm washes over her.

John swallowed. "R-Right, well... Moira, can you hide yours until we figure something out?" Moira nodded as she stared at the floor. "Alright... that just leaves our plans for today."

Moira glanced up, and realized "our" plans didn't involve her. "W-What are you two intending...?"

"We're going to party up!" John declared, pounding his fist into his hand. The tension was, at last, a thing of the past-

"He finished having sex with the Academy's art department head, and so has made time available for my experiments." John stood there, frozen and wide-eyed, with his hand still wrapped over his fist. Moira's eyes slowly widened to match his as she processed Tricia's words. "... That is, we'll be going into one of his illusion barriers, whose properties are-"

Moira slowly, and wordlessly, drew her warhammer. John raised his hands defensively. "I can explain-"

"I'm coming with you!"

"What?!" John and Tricia both exclaimed.

"Clearly, the Order's guidance is needed more than ever for our new resident mage. A Warden's duties include helping such wayward, powerful souls find their proper place in the world." Nothing in her tone implied guidance or help. "Moreover, I cannot risk an amateur dragging a Gorbachev into a barrier unguarded."

"Amateur-?!"

Tricia simply grimaced.

"I'm already sparing a demon made physical in our world, John. Coming from a Warden, that's tantamount to heresy. You will not only prove your control over her to keep that privilege... but you will aid me as I command."

The sigils on John's hand shifted imperceptibly; the Gamer failed to notice it. "Heh... I'm already higher level than-" John glanced at Moira with his Eye. What the-

Lady Moira Brighton
Level 23 Paladin
<Warden of the Golden Rose>
HP: 990/990
MP: 300/300
Stats: Str 29 Agi 14 End 38 Int 14 Wis 20 Cha 19 Lib 34
Status Effects: None
Qualities: Holy Aura
Bearer of the Golden Rose, Heiress Apparent of the Brighton Clan, Holy Warrior of the Order, and an upright citizen with no tolerance for perversion save her own. The distance between her and her father is notable, but she forgives him as a matter of duty and studies her martial forms and magical prayers under the strict tutelage of the Order's servants and seers. She has recently experienced a kind of sexual awakening, and her control over her holy powers has been enhanced.
Relationship: +200

When the Hell did she get an upgrade?! Sexual awakening- what- did I do that?!

Holy Aura, passive: The Warden is sheathed in the light of the Lady's blessing, invisible to most, a beautiful radiance to those sworn to the Order, and a fiery pain to the eyes of evil. When in combat, the Warden's enemies take 20 extra damage from her Golden Rose abilities when they're within 10 feet of the Warden, demons taking twice as much within twice as much distance.

"You look almost frightened at the prospect, John... surely you don't feel challenged or worried at seeing what this Warden can do?" Her smile was less than holy.

"You already crushed his ribcage once," Tricia retorted flatly, and all of Moira's confidence fell with her face. "He's well aware of what a monster you can be."

John pondered how he should proceed as the two bickered. The party invite window came up again... this time with Yes/No buttons next to both of their names.